The Perfect Luna

childhood ghosts

I saw how visibly conflicted Archer seemed. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hazel hair.

He sat on the grass and motioned me to do the same, somehow telling me that this would be a long story.

"Jessica lost a lot of things because of me," he seemed to have a hard time finding his words, "no--, she lost everything because of me."

I furrowed my brows trying to make sense of his words. I could feel the guilt and regret dripping in his words.

He turned towards me and smiled half heartedly. "Do you want the long story or the short story?" he asks jokingly, but I knew that it was something deep for him.

I tried to smile. "Whatever's comfortable for you."

He took a deep breath once again.

"Jessica's parents died because of me." Archer started, but I already felt the heavy blow. I had no idea where all this was going.

He smiled, but I didn't fail to catch the sadness behind it.

"Well, I guess it would make sense to start telling you about our childhood. Jessica and I are the same age and because we're the pack leaders' kids, Jessica being the Gamma's daughter along with Allan, the Beta's son, we all practically grew up together. But Jess and I have always been close to the point that our parents started predicting that we were mates. It wasn't something new, most of the times, it happens.

So then, her parents thought that it would be best to prepare her to be come the Luna, my Luna. And might I say, that consumed them. The environment she grew up in wasn't the best, to be honest. Her parents constantly compared her to daughters of high ranking wolves and always made her felt worthless.

When her parents died protecting me when we were attacked, coming back from the Capitol and she was stripped of the title of a Gamma's daughter, she stuck herself to me. With her parents and high rank gone, she failed to see her worth. She felt that by sticking to me, protecting me and doing her best to become the Luna, she was fulfilling what her parents always pushed her to be. To her, being with me was giving her a sense of worth."

Archer looked up the sky, probably blaming himself that Jessica was raised that way because of him.

I wanted to just embrace him and tell him that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that her parents chose to raise her that way and it surely wasn't her fault.

When he suddenly turned to me, I was caught staring at him and he smiled. Although the emotion behind his smile was something I wasn't able to understand so I chose to look away.

"I would be lying if I said she wasn't my first love." Archer started again.

This time, my heart ached.

So that's what it was, he really did love her. But the question is, does he still love her?

I could feel him observing me, probably trying to see what reaction I'd show, but I tried my best to stay composed.