Poems by a Low Life Poet

i hate you, you left

idek my face when i look in the mirror
you changed me
idk myself
i'm a mystery
you broke me and replaced me
i sat in the dark but then i hit it
i saw stars and euphoria
SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK played
weight on my chest
you knew i couldn't deal
but you wanted me to have opened wounds
and every time you did something you put salt in my wounds
you love to hurt me
it gives you power
but i see the light
i see it bright
you don't deserve me
you don't deserve my love
i wanted to give you everything
but you broke me and replaced me

i can't stop getting high
i remember you when i'm sober
all i can do it try to forget
even when i'm high it doesn't help
feel like i did this all myself
what the fuck
shit isn't right
i did everything
i was on ur side
you left and didn't say bye
you never gave a fuck
i should have did more drugs
cause i remember now more than ever
she deserves you, whore

you didn't see my beauty
and you fucking made me think it wasn't there
made me hate myself
fuck you
i will never come back
yet i love you
i want you to see the beauty
feel the spark
and hit a blunt
with me and watch the sky
and hold me and say
i love you
i'm not leaving
i'm not leaving
i'm not leaving
i swear to you
i promise
and that promise was kept and he stayed
but that's a film
and this real life
fuck you

i see myself bare
i watch myself in the mirror
i don't recognize my body
every time i look
i see everything i hate
and that's your fault
the doctor looked me in my eyes and said i hadn't gained weight since 2018
prior to october i was normal weight
present-tense 112
i feel empty all the time
i never complain
i ignore the stomach pain
to see the loss
and not the gain
and it's all because of you
my heart dropped when i heard 16 for my body fat percentage
i screamed at my parents
i felt like shit
my mom made me feel like shit
i binge ate
and that's your fault

i hate you
you left
that's the one thing i didn't want