𝓶𝓲 𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓻~

13.

Isaac's pov:
I'm sitting there, on my bed, with my hands, in my hair. I stare at my ceiling, until I hear a ping. I shoot up, and see a notification, it's from Ev, "Hey, I'm not saying I forgive you or anything, but I think we should meet up at my place, I need to talk to you...". As soon as I see this text, I'm overwhelmed, with defeat; that's it, I screwed up too bad. I fucked up the one relationship I had, which meant more to me, than anything, in the world. My eyes flicker a little, as I realise what I've done, "If I just didn't drink, if I stayed with Ev, if I didn't listen to those random guys, I would be with Ev right now...". I read the message, and fell onto my back. I lied down on my bed, and tried to process the situation. The more I thought about it, the quicker my breathing got. I tried to block it out, but all I could hear was, "You, messed this up, you chose to drink, you knew how you got when you drink, but you did it anyways". I clench my fist tightly, and I feel my heart pounding. I get up and pace, back and forth, in my room. I stand still, trying to calm myself down. I lock eyes, with myself, in the mirror. I suddenly get overwhelmed with all this aggression, and I charge at the mirror, and I clench my fists, tighter. I throw my hand at my mirror, and I see my reflection shatter. I exhale, and see the blood smudged, against the glass. I don't even feel any pain, I don't feel the pain of the glass shards, in my skin, I don't feel the worry of someone coming in, I only feel the pain of knowing that I fucked up the one thing I cherished the most... I feel the anxiety rushing in, as I realise, I created this problem, and now I have to live, with the consequences .

I glance, at my bloody fist, and run into the bathroom. I run in, and throw myself, against the door, scrambling to lock it. I hear Venus shout my name, but all I can hear is my heartbeat, pounding. I slump, to the floor, with my head in my hands. I feel the cold tear run down my cheek. I taste the saltiness, and then I look up, I see nothing, it's all a blur. I remember something, that Venus said before, "When everything's closing in on you, find your anchor, something that will bring you back, to reality". I try to find something familiar, something comforting, something to bring me back. I dig deep, and I find the memory, of Ev laughing and sitting on my lap, as we took the photos, on our first date. I remember her hair getting caught on her necklace, because she was laughing too much, I remember her asking who's going to get the photos, I remember her touch, I remember the way she made me felt. Then I slipped back into reality, I almost wanted to stay buried with memories of Ev, I wanted to carry on reminiscing, I wanted to live in that bliss, but I stepped back into reality. The reality was, my older sister was pounding on the door, and Ev was going to break up with me... My vision starts to clear, and I grab, onto the radiator, and I get up. I grip the sink, and I look at myself in the mirror. I turn on the tap, rubbing off the blood, and pulling out the shards of glass. I hear Venus's voice becoming more, and more scared. I look at myself and I see my red, puffy eyes. I wipe my eyes, and I open the door. She looks at me, in the eyes, and hugs me. I always played "big brother", even though she was 2 years older than me, but in that moment, she played "big sister". We slump, to the bathroom floor, as I break out, into tears, with my head, in her arms. She runs her hands, through my hair, and I feel her pulse slowing down. She kisses my forhead, as she says, "It just wasn't meant to be, it's okay, I'm here". I bury my head, in her comfort, and I say, "I could've prevented this, I just had to not drink". She laughs and says, "Although you made a dumb mistake, you would've always gotten in the way of the inevitable". I look up at her, with confusion. She explains, "You noticed it as well, you just didn't want to admit it... Sam clearly cares for Ev, so much, and they have undeniable chemistry. Although you did do something, to initiate the break up, she would have figured out her feelings, for Sam, sooner or later, and broke it off, with you, then". I look at her, in agreement, and then I hid my face, in her arms. We both sat there, on the bathroom, as I lay in her arms, for an hour. She just kissed my head, telling me, "Its okay, you made a drunkard mistake, don't do this to yourself, I know, Ev knows, Louis and Sam know that, you are an amazing person, and that you're my amazing baby brother, who just needs to learn control". We stop speaking, for a second, and I couldn't hear my heartbeat, anymore.. I sit up, holding Venus's hands, and I smile. She looks at me, and says, "Freshen up, and meet her...". I know it will be painful, but I will get over it, I need to get it over with, let out any feelings, anything I need to say, and then move on. It's not going to be easy, I'm going to shed a lot more tears, and break a few more mirrors, but I'll make it out alive, because I have people to live for. She glances at my fist, and says, "Isaac, we can't have anymore broken mirrors, I know Ev was your anchor, but now she's gone, and that means, so has your anchor. Be your own anchor. Live for yourself. Your past does not define you, it's just a piece of yourself, that you can choose to ignore, or embrace. You could ignore the fact that you hurt Ev, or you could embrace it, and learn control, and become your own anchor". I smile, as i let go of her hand, "I'll go get dressed, put a bandage on this, and then I'll drive up to her house". She smiles, and I get up, reaching my hand, out to her. She giggles, and I pull her up, and then I feel it click, I feel our positions reverse again. I go back to playing "big brother", and she turns, into my sister that I look out for. It feels right, even though I'm younger, I like having someone to look after. But for that blissful moment, when I was on her lap, it felt nice, being cared for. I'll never forget that feeling, the comfort she provided. The time, when I let down my guard, and let her see my emotions, I let her see my tears, I let her see me, in pain. I take out my phone, and even though it hurts like shit, I try to smile, as I text, "Okay, I completely understand, I'll be there, 20 minutes". I have to play the good ex, I have to be accepting, I can't even try explain my side. I can't tell her what she's putting me through, because at the end of the day, I did this, I'm in the wrong, I can't play victim. The best thing for me to do, is get it over with...

a/n: Do you think it's fair, what Ev's putting him through, I mean, he was drunk...??
@whotfismariyah🌻✨