What I Don't Know

Chapter 9

Beyoncé's P.O.V

"Yuck!" I said disgusted when the strong taste of liquor hit my tongue as I drank what should've been straight orange juice, "Grr... Conner." I hate when he mixes alcohol in my damn juice. I actually told him to stay away from my fridge with his mess.

I was cursing just because though, since he wasn't in the kitchen with me. At the moment, he was snoring in my bed while I was getting late for work. And I was about to leave with no breakfast. That's what I get for trying to replace my morning caffeine for something healthier.

I threw the juice in the sink and went to get my purse. I'll just stop somewhere and get me some coffee and a bagel. I may as well suck it up for Mr. Shields and bring him some too.

"Conner." I said nudging him.

"What?" He mumbled.

"Don't forget we're having dinner with my friend tonight. I'll meet you there okay?" I said a little distracted as I put on my shoes. When I realized he didn't answer me, I nudged him again.

"Yeah, yeah." He said with his eyes still closed.

I wasn't satisfied with the answer, but I didn't have time to waste with that. I'll just call him later to make sure he's there on time, so he won't embarrass me in front of Liz's fiancé.

I was a little reluctant about this dinner at first, but I couldn't keep telling her no, and I ran out of excuses to postponing it, so we finally set to go to this restaurant they say is great. I was nervous about it because Liz's fiancé seems to have a fancy taste and fancy is not exactly the word, I would pick to describe Conner. I was going to kill myself if he orders beer. But at the same time, I couldn't wait to introduce my sexy man to my friend, and besides, it had been so long since I had a double date, it may actually be fun.

***

Shawn's P.O.V

"Are you taking your medicine?"

"Of course." I nodded.

"Ok that's really important. Other than that, I will see you next week. If you have problems or questions, feel free to call or stop by." My doctor said after my weekly checkup.

"Okay, thank you."

"I see you next week and Mr. Carter, please take it easy." She smiled before I shook her hand and left.

I just hate what I have to go through right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful that I'm doing a lot better, but all this pills that I have to take like every 2 hours is really getting on my nerves. For example, it somehow skipped my mind yesterday during work and I immediately started to feel bad. It sucks that my health depends on some red, green, and blue pills.

"Finally. You're late, we have a full house."

"Sorry. So, what we have?" I asked one of the waitresses.

"Table 5 just ordered the special of the night. And they will start with a soup." Molly said.

"How many people?" I asked while washing my hands.

"For now three, but the other woman said that her date will be joining them soon."

"Okay. Let me start. Marilyn, take care of the soup please." I said smiling and starting to cook.

That's what I love about my job. I completely forget about all the things that are going wrong in my life. All I focus on is giving people a taste that they will not forget. And every time they leave satisfied and with a full stomach, I feel successful.

"Did her date showed up yet?" I asked Molly as she walked back in the kitchen with another order.

"Nope. I kind of feel bad for her. I hate when guys do something like that."

"Well maybe he has a good excuse, but I hope it was worth missing this delicious food." I said when I finished giving the final touch on the fish that I just prepared.

"Wow, it looks great. Can I have some later as well?" Molly asked taking the plates.

"Sure. And now hurry up." I said looking for the next order.

***

Beyoncé's P.O.V

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I yelled on the phone, and then tried to compose myself as soon as I did it. Thank God I stepped away from the table before taking the call.

I was outside the restaurant talking to Conner and the more he talked, the more I didn't want to hear.

"I'm really sorry babe, I swear I was on my way. I was actually speeding to get there on time, but I almost died doing it. My bike is all fucked up, I'm all scratched, and I'll have to bust my ass to pay for the damage. I'll have to talk to the guy I hit now. it will take forever here. And you wouldn't even want me to show up with my clothes torn the way they are."

I wanted to cry, but I took a deep breath instead and tried not to be so selfish.

"Okay then. Are you alright? You didn't break anything, did you?"

"No, I'm good. I'll stop by the hospital after here though, just to make sure and then I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'm sorry... Have fun."

Right, 'cause getting stood up in front of your friend is the best way to start a good night.

I hung up the phone and let out a massive sigh as I put it back in my purse and tried to gather enough courage to go inside and tell Liz, and her fiancée, Marc, that my date isn't coming.

"So?" Liz stopped her conversation with her fiancé to turn her attention to me when I returned to the table. I guess she could tell by the look on my face that something when wrong, 'cause she looked concerned.

"He got in an accident driving his motorcycle."

"Oh my God, is he okay?" She asked more worried now.

"Yeah, just some scratches, but he says he'll stop by the hospital after exchanging insurance info and all that. I'll see him later." I waved off as I sat down, trying to look cool about it and an effort to minimize the embarrassment.

"Well, at least it wasn't serious. We can do this some other time." She smiled, trying to cheer me up. I gave a weak smile back and started to slightly stir my food around, "Now tell me the food here isn't great? This is one of my favorite places."

"Yeah, it really is." I smiled more genuinely this time.

I actually had heard of this place before, I even told myself I wanted to eat here one of these days, but I'm still trying to get my bills together. For now, I can barely afford McDonalds.

"You liked it, huh?" Liz asked me as I was finishing emptying my plate.

"It's great. I think I never ate anything this good."

"Yes. I love this restaurant." She said smiling.

I was enjoying my dinner with Liz and Marc, especially because of the food, but I couldn't stop wondering what they were thinking about Conner not showing up. I hope they won't think I made him up. I really wanted to show her that I have a man in my life as well.

"You need to try something from the dessert card." She suggested, bringing my mind back to the dinner.

"I will." I nodded.

The night really went by nicely, and they succeeded in making it less uncomfortable as possible for me. Maybe it was because my date didn't show up, or maybe Liz really missed the old days, but we had a nice conversation about our college days and even revealed some crazy stories to Marc. By the time I left, I was feeling a little guilty, because I have to admit that, even though I tried not to, I acted a little selfish. Conner was involved in an accident and instead of worrying about him, I only thought about how I would look in front of Liz.

I was feeling so bad about it that I bought him a $20 dessert and decided to stop by his place to give it to him. I also wanted to make sure that he was okay, and had everything he needed.

"Babe, it's me." I said out loud when I entered his place. I looked for him in the living room and kitchen, but the more I walked the more I realized there was some noise coming from his bedroom. I couldn't make it out clearly, but my first thought was that it sounded like he was in pain.

"Babe, I brought..." I started as I walked in, but I immediately stopped talking when I saw him.

"Bey..."

"I can't believe this." I said shaking my head.

My blood was boiling, and all I wanted to do was to kill them both. All I needed was a damn knife. It only took me a second to be in the kitchen looking for a big one, but I dropped it as soon as I got a hold of it. He wouldn't be worth going to jail for. Besides, it's all my fault anyway. I gave him the chance to do it again. I stayed with his ass and trusted him when I already knew I shouldn't. I actually wasn't even surprised. I was just pissed at myself for letting him do this to me again.

"Babe, I can explain it." He said coming after me.

"Really?? Then explain this to me. I really want to hear what the hell you're going to say." I yelled as I threw the dessert that I bought for him against the wall.

I can't believe that I was feeling bad because of this asshole. How could I be so dumb to think that he really changed? He was here fucking some whore while I was feeling guilty for how I behaved.

"I'm sorry babe." He said coming closer after he got rid of his bitch.

"Don't call me babe. I'm not your fucking babe." I said angrily stepping away from him.

"She doesn't mean anything to me."

"And you really think that I care? I want you to listen carefully, because I'm not going to repeat myself. I want you to stay the fuck away from me. Don't call me, don't come to my place, just forget that I exist."

"Bey c'mon, don't throw away what we have."

"You were the one throwing it away. Besides, we didn't really have anything, because you were never truly mine."

"Bey, I'm a man, that's normal." He said defending himself.

"Please, don't make me laugh. You are far away from being a man. You don't know what it means to be a man. You are not even a boy... you are just a little insecure pussy. Going around fucking everything in sight trying to prove something."

"Who the fuck you are calling a pussy??" He said getting mad and stepping closer.

"What the fuck you think you are doing huh?" I got in his face instead of stepping back, "Now you want to hit me? I dare you to touch me with just one finger and that will be the last thing you'll do." I said firmly. He looked at me for a moment before he stepped back, trying to control his anger.

"Give me the keys to my place so I can leave." I said when I calmed down enough.

"Here." He said throwing the keys in front of my feet.

"See, you can never act like a man." I said picking up my keys and leaving without saying another word to him.

This is the last time I go through that. I'm closing this chapter of my life and this time there will not be another chance, not another try, not another broken promise. I'm done wasting my time with someone that will never change. I already was stupid enough to waist over a year of my time with a person that doesn't deserve me.

***

Shawn's P.O.V

Today was a good day at work. The restaurant was packed, and we didn't stop for a second in the kitchen, but the costumers liked the food and regulars sent me their compliments and fortunately, I didn't even have to step out of the kitchen to make small talk. I like to bump into fans of my food outside the restaurant and chat with them, but at the job, I rather stay in the kitchen.

I was tired at the end of the day, but I wasn't so anxious to get home. I know I was the one who said it was better for Sarah to leave, but getting home to an empty apartment felt a little weird. I even found myself making my way to the guest room where she was keeping most of her stuff to check if she left anything behind, but it was cleaned out. Maybe I'll call her tomorrow or send her something. I really wanted us to stay in good terms. And I'm sure she only needs a little time to see it my way too.

I was in my boxers and on my way to the shower when I heard someone banging on my front door. I went downstairs to check, but I was actually considering calling the security of the building or even the police to get rid of whoever it was, until I heard the person at the other side call out my name, and I recognized the voice.

"Andy, what are you doing here? And what's with all this noise?" I said standing at my opened door, but he passed by me without saying a word.

"They are after me." He said pointing to the door and sitting down on the couch. I closed the door and walked up to him, taking note of his crazed state.

"Who's after you?"

"The guys in the subway. They were watching me. They followed me here. IT'S THEM!" He yelled out of nowhere and got up, then started pacing back and forth.

"Andrew, are you fucking high??" I asked angrily, "You tell me you won't drink anymore and then you go and get your ass high? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He didn't even pay attention to me. He just kept pacing. I wanted to smack him so bad. I had to stop for a minute and calm myself down, 'cause I was getting so angry it was hard to breathe. I was already exhausted from work, adding stress to it was making it much worse. I had to hush to my bathroom and get a pill to help me get back to normal while I still could, or I would end up dying and my stupid brother wouldn't even know what's happening. To be honest, at a moment like that, I would like to have Sarah here.

When I finally walked back downstairs. Andrew was sleeping on the couch with his cellphone in his hand. It was probably better that way. I'll deal with his ass in the morning.