What I Don't Know

Chapter 28

Andrew's P.O.V

I let out a very big sigh when I opened the door to my apartment. I really didn't feel like staying here, I would have stayed with Shawn at the hospital, but I had a meeting in the morning and I needed to be ready.

Normally I would be coming home with some entertainment, but I couldn't make myself call or hit on any girl I saw today. Lucy was still too fresh in my mind and body.

It is hard to believe she's not going to be around anymore. I won't be able to stop by her favorite places just for the chance to see her, or show up at one of our friends get together just 'cause I know she'll be there. This time she'll be truly out of my life.

After I locked the door, I checked my messages as I got rid of my clothes to take a shower. All of them were from people calling to meet somewhere for the night. A couple of months ago it was a nice thing. I liked having different places to go and people to see, but lately I had spent most of my nights with Shawn and the ones I don't, I don't really feel like partying. Maybe I'm growing up, or maybe I'm just bored and need something new.

I was just getting ready for bed when the machine got another message.

"Hi. I'm sorry I'm calling. I know I said I would leave you alone. But you know how I am. I'm not good with new places. I'm feeling a little lonely, and lost. You don't need to pick up the phone though. I can just pretend I'm talking to you, and you can pretend you're not listening. Just like always." She laughed softly at that on her end and I laughed too, still standing at my bedroom door. "Do you want to know how my day was? Well, I got to see my new office. It's really big, and I also met my assistant. I'm feeling so important."

I walked up to the couch and sat down to listen to her. She kept joking and laughing as she told me everything, commenting on the things she thought, but obviously didn't dare tell anyone. I kept smiling and shaking my head at her crazy ass, especially when the machine would cut her off and she would call again, picking up from where she left.

"It wasn't a bad day after all, but it will take me a while to get used to it. I hope you had a good day. I'm going to let you sleep now. I have to take my butt to bed myself. Good night Andy."

I rested my hand over the phone for a second, and then she hung up.

"Good night Lucy."

***

"Oh shit!" I cursed when I woke up and checked the time. I was supposed to be out of the house 30 minutes ago. I knew for sure I had set the alarm, but obviously I didn't hear the damn thing.

I jumped out of bed and brushed my teeth while I went to my closet to pick out my clothes. I found a pair of black dress pants and a blue shirt and stuffed myself into them after I washed up. I was ready to head out of the house with a tie over my shoulder and shoes on my feet when I realized I didn't have socks on.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

When I finally managed to get out of my apartment, I was very glad I had Shawn's car, so I could try to gain back some of the time I lost. Maybe if I make the right shortcuts I can get there only 15 to 20 minutes late.

"I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry Garry." I said to the guy who arranged the meeting for me. He was standing at the hallway looking pissed.

"40 minutes Andrew. What the fuck? I told you to be here at 8 sharp! Do you know what sharp means?"

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry. Let's not waste more time though. Are they waiting?"

"Yeah, kind of. They got tired of waiting and moved on to another subject, but I guess they'll switch back to the reason why they came so early." Garry said still angry.

"Good morning gentlemen. And ladies." I said smiling when I walked into the room. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but hopefully I'll be able to make all of you happy by the end of this meeting."

I know I screw up a lot, and I'm not exactly the best at what I do, but I have a real talent to make people forgive me. The truth is that, it doesn't matter how disappointed people are, all they really want at the end, is to get what they need. And I was pretty confident I had just that.

It took them a while to warm up to me. It kind of felt like they were expecting me to say something wrong and ruin the meeting, but once they gave my report and notes on the blueprint for their new building a real chance, the conversation got a lot more interesting. I left the room an hour later feeling like I had satisfied clients.

"Man, I thought you would get fired and get me fired as well." Garry said as I followed him into his office.

"Relax man, I know what I'm doing."

"Ch. you're the one who better wake up, you're trying their patience, one more and you're out."

"I have everything under control." I said with confidence "So, I got your message last night. How was it at the party?"

"Damn, it was good. You should have showed up. Bitches went crazy, taking their tops off and everything."

"I tried out staying home for once, but it wasn't even worthy. I'll show up next time."

Gary and I had a common friend who loved throwing parties, and it was always crazy. There were a lot of times I went home with two girls, and more than once we didn't even made it to my apartment. You give those girls some vodka and weed and they are all over you all night.

I didn't stay to talk to Gary for long. He had work to do, and I had to be at a site in about 2 hours, so I said goodbye and headed back to the car. I removed my tie and threw on the back sit as soon as I started to drive off and then turned the radio on. I have to confess, I don't love working, but what I really hate is the traffic and the clothes I have to wear. I used to have a motorcycle, but I had a little accident last year and broke my leg and my mother freaked out, so I had to get rid of it.

After 20 minutes and probably a 100 red lights later I was getting more than bored. I swear I need a helicopter. My mood got a little improved when I Can't Get No Satisfaction came on the radio though. That's one of my favorites.

"Cause I try and I try and I try and I try."

Damn, the song was almost over when I was finally able to move the car. I actually didn't move much before the red was replaced by yellow, but I didn't let it stop me. I'll be damned if I wait another 10 minutes before I can move again. I speeded up the car still singing the song.

"I can't get noooo satisfacti- Oh FUCK!" I yelled as I made a fast turn when a kid crossed the street running. I heard honks going off from the car coming behind me at the next lane and then I felt the impact. I have no idea what happened after that, 'cause it was totally lights out.

***

"Oh my God. Is he... is he...?" I heard a woman sob as I started to move. I wasn't walking though. Somebody was carrying me.

I made an effort to open my eyes and lifted my head to see what was going on.

"Andrew. Thank God you're alive." The female voice came again and this time I caught a glimpse of Sarah.

"Ma'am you need to step back. We need to take him to the hospital right now."

The hospital? Yeah, that may be a good idea. My whole body hurts a lot. I think I'm bleeding. I heard noises and then the siren. Everything was happening so fast.

"Norman, don't stop. He lost too much blood already. We're going to lose him."

Damn, I'm really dying? Shit, the one night I decide to sleep alone and it fucks up my day. That was not at all how I thought it would all end.

They moved me again and this time there were a lot more noise. I heard another sob, much louder this time and my mother came into view. How the hell she got here?

"What happened to my son?" She asked hysterically.

"Ma'am please, you need to leave, he needs immediate medical care."

"WHAT HAPPNED TO MY SON?"

"Ma...?" I managed to say.

"Sir, lay down please." Someone told me.

"Please I need to talk to my mother. I have something to tell her. It's important."

"You can't see her now. She has to leave." They insisted.

"Ma, I need you to do something for me." I said weakly. I wasn't even sure if she was still in the room, but then I felt someone grab my hand and I saw her face again.

"Oh my God Andrew, what happened to you?"

"Mom, if I don't make it, I need you to promise you'll do something for me."

"Don't say that, you'll be alright, you'll see." I felt her kiss my hand just before somebody started to pull her away from me.

I only got a few more words out before the lights went out again.

***

Shawn's P.O.V

"Wait, are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure Shawn." My nurse said laughing at my disbelief.

I had to stop a moment to wrap my head around it. This hell would really be over...?

"Hi." I heard a low voice say and looked up to see Sarah coming into my room.

"Hey Sarah, you won't believe what they just told me." I said smiling.

"What?"

"They have a donor. I'm getting a new heart."

"Oh... I mean, wow. That is, really, really great." She came closer and I instinctively hugged her.

"I can't believe I'll really get out of this hospital." I said excitedly. I pulled away from her and saw she was crying. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just." She started, but chocked as the tears fell, "I'm just happy for you."

"I'm more than happy. I'll finally have my life back, Bey. I mean... Sarah." I corrected awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I know you wish she was here right now, not me."

"Didn't my mother tell you that we broke up?" I asked. I was going to say it wasn't truth, but that would be a lie and she knows it.

"I heard, but still. I know you like her. You shouldn't have let her go."

I looked out into space and shook my head, thinking about everything I've been through since I last saw her.

"No. I love her too much to let her see me trapped to this room and suffer with me."

"Well, we need to get you ready for surgery." My nurse said, cutting in.

"Alright. Sarah, can you tell my parents? I know my mother will want to be here."

"I'll let her know, don't worry." She nodded and kissed my cheek before she left the room.

She tried to force a smile, but I could tell she was holding back. I hope she wasn't upset because of what I said about Bey. I don't think Sarah is still in love with me, but maybe hearing me say that I love another woman hurt her somehow.

***

Beyoncé's P.O.V

"What are you doing?" My mother asked as soon as I picked up my ringing phone.

"Hello to you too mother." I managed to say still chewing the food in my mouth.

"Well hello." She said laughing a little.

"And the answer to your question is... I'm eating pizza and watching TV."

"Pizza in the middle of the week? You should stop eating so much junk food and cook something healthy."

"I don't have the time and to be honest cooking would only make me think about things that I don't want to, so I rather eat my junk food, thank you."

"You gonna end up fat."

"Oh mom, it's not like I eat it every day." I said rolling my eyes.

"You should come and have dinner with us more often."

"I will. Hmm... mom, I have to go now, someone is at the door. I'll be over on Friday and have dinner with you and dad."

"Alright, bye." She said before hanging up, and I immediately got up to answer the door.

I wasn't expecting anyone, so I had no idea of who it was, but I was already in my leggings and oversized shirt, ready to spend the evening in front of my TV, so I hoped whoever was at my door wasn't here to stay.

"Sarah?" I asked confused and very surprised. She was the last person on earth I'd expect to see at my apartment.

"Hello Beyoncé. I'm sorry for showing up like that, but could we talk for a second?" She asked. I could tell that something was really wrong, because her eyes were all puffy and red like she had been crying a lot.

"Uh... Sure, come in. Are you okay?"

"Not really. I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Andy was involved in a car accident early today, and he didn't make it." She said with a shaking voice.

"Didn't make it? You... you mean he died?" I asked slowly, hoping I was getting it wrong. I could feel my legs weakening, so I quickly sat down on my couch, with my hand over my mouth in complete shock.

"Yes, it happened this afternoon."

"Oh God. H... how is Shawn doing?" I asked with a shaking voice, the tears flowing down my face.

"He doesn't know yet. He's in surgery right now. He is getting a new heart. Andrew's heart actually."

"What?"

"That was Andy's last wish. He said that if he didn't make it, his heart should be donated to his brother."

"But... Shawn will be devastated once he finds out."

"I know, that's why I am here. He will need you."

"I'm sorry Sarah, but he doesn't need me. He made that very clear." I said shaking my head and wiping my tears away.

"Beyoncé, he's been laying on a hospital bed ever since you two broke up. That was the only reason why he let you go."

"I don't understand..."

"I have no idea what happened between you two, but knowing Shawn, he pushed you away to save you from all the drama. But he will really need you now, trust me. He would never call and ask for it, but I know he'll need you there. Please come with me."

"I'm... I need to change first." I said getting up and walking to my bedroom.

I still can't believe that Andy really died. He was only 23 years old and one of the funniest people I ever met. It's hard to believe he's gone forever. If something like that happened to my sister, I don't know how I would deal with it. I would have an emotional breakdown. That was why I decided to go to the hospital and be there for Shawn, as a friend and nothing more though. I don't know how Shawn will react and what really worries me is what he will do when he finds out that his brother's heart will be beating in his chest now.

"I'm ready." I said when I came back to the living room.

"Okay, let's go." Sarah said getting up and following me to the door.

I could tell Sarah was trying hard to concentrate on driving and keep calm, but she would constantly wipe tears off her face and her hands wouldn't stop trembling. I grabbed one of her hands when she stopped at a light and squeezed, smiling at her when she looked at me. I actually had to prepare myself to see the family, Mrs. Carter especially. I knew she would be in worst shape of them all. I also knew that nothing could prepare me enough to see Shawn. That will be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life.

The first person I saw as I followed Sarah into a waiting room was one of Shawn's cousins. I was ready to express my condolences, but her reaction to me, surprised me a lot.

"What are you doing here?" She said frowning at me.

"I-"

"Calm down Simone. I brought her. Shawn will like to see her." Sarah cut in, before I could try to explain.

"And so he would all the weeks he spent in the hospital, but that didn't happen."

"I don't know what Shawn told you, but it wasn't her fault." Sarah defended me again.

"Beyoncé?" I turned my attention to the voice and spotted Mr. Carter. My heart sunk immediately.

"Hi Mr. Carter. I'm very, very sorry." I said walking up to him and he took me by surprise when he hugged me. "I'm very sorry for your loss." I said again.

I felt him nod and hugged him tightly. I made my best not to cry and be supportive, instead of the weak one.

"Where is Mrs. Carter?" I asked as we pulled away.

"She's sleeping. They sedated her."

"I figured it would be too hard for her."

"It's hard to believe. It happened so fast. But it's good to see you here."

"Sarah asked me to come."

"I'm glad she did that." He smiled just a little bit and looked around the room then back to me. "I think I could go for a cup of coffee, would you like one?"

"Sure." I nodded.

I didn't really wanted it, but I figured staying with him was the least I could do.

"Do you know anything about Shawn?" I asked as we walked.

"He's still in surgery, but hopefully it will turn out okay."

I nodded again, not knowing what to say. I hoped it would turn out okay too, but the shock of what happened to Andrew got me very scared.

A couple hours went by without anything happening. Some relatives came and left and so did friends of the family. I didn't say much because not only I couldn't really find the right words to say, but I also was barely a friend of the family, so as much as I wanted to support them, I was feeling a little out of place.

"Beyoncé." I heard Mr. Carter calling me again and I immediately walked up to him.

"Gloria wants to see you."

"Me?"

"Yes."

I was a little taken aback by that because not only I wasn't sure how she would react to me after my break up with Shawn, but I knew it would be hard to face a mother who had just lost her younger son.

"Mrs. Carter." I said before slowly walking into the room.

"Hi Beyoncé." She said with the weakest voice I've ever heard. She looked completely weak, actually.

"I'm... I'm very sorry for your loss." I half whispered as I approached her bed.

"I'm glad you're here." She managed to say and squeezed my hand.

I smiled at her and wiped the tear that quickly fell from my eye.

"You shouldn't have left. Shawn missed you. I told you he would try to push you away."

"I'm sorry. I tried to stay, but he really made me think that he didn't want me around."

She shook her head. "My sons were always very good in hiding what they felt, and that made them terrible at expressing their true feelings, but Shawn loves you. Enough to put your happiness before his."

"I..." I started, but chocked on my tears, so I took a deep breath and tried again. "I love him too. Very much."

"I know." She said smiling at me weakly.

It was so crazy how I spent the last couple of months trying to forget Shawn and everything about him, and all it took was a couple of hours for me to be drowning in him again.

***

Shawn's P.O.V

"Welcome back." My doctor said as soon as I opened my eyes.

"How do you feel Mr. Carter?"

"Okay. The pain in my chest is gone." I said a little weak.

"That's good. The surgery went very well and your body seems to accept the new heart."

"That means I can go back home soon?"

"Yes. You still have to stay here for a little while, but I'm very optimistic that you'll be going back home soon."

"Okay."

"Your family is outside. They can come in for a second, but then you need to rest." My doctor said before leaving my room.

"Hey." I said smiling weakly when my father, my cousin and Sarah entered my room.

"How are you doing son?" My father said hugging me.

"Better. Where is mom and Andy?"

"It was a long day for your mother. It was better for her to get some rest." He said. Something about my father was extremely odd. It was like he was forcing himself to smile for me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes son. It was just a really long day. We are extremely happy that you're finally doing better."

"I am too, but you should go home and get some rest too dad."

"I will. I'll see you tomorrow morning." My father said hugging me again.

"Thank you for staying here for me, but you two should leave as well." I said to Sarah and my cousin.

"Yes. Have a good night Shawn." Sarah said hugging and then kissing my cheek before they both left.

When I was alone, I couldn't help but smile to myself and thank God that this nightmare was finally over. I can finally get my life back and start working again.

"Your family left?" My nurse asked coming into my room to check on me.

"Yes. I sent them home. It was a long day for them."

"There's still someone outside for you. I don't know if she's a relative or anything, but she's been here for hours. She said she doesn't want to go home."

"That must be Sarah. She's my ex-wife. I told her to go home. Can you send her in for a second?"

"Just for a second then you need to rest."

"Okay." I said smiling a little.

"Hey..." A female voice said, making me look up quickly to see her.

I knew very well who that voice belonged to and I wanted to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. I spent all this time wanting to hear and see her so badly, but I didn't have hopes it would happen.

"Bey?"