The Joker Made Me Do It

Chapter Thirtyone

Okay so I haven't updated in a LONG time, but life has been pretty hectic. I'll try to update more often, but no promises. Anyway, this is a short chapter so I'm sorry, but I will try my best to get a new, longer chapter up soon.
Love ya,
Tess <3
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<Claire's POV>

'Jesus hell, I thought I got rid of that fucking voice. Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn't it just happen to some other girl. I mean... I'm glad no one else got hurt, but come on. Why me?' I sighed in defeat as I sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands.
'Oh dear, it would've been anyone who walked around the corner. You walked by, you're the lucky one.' The Joker told me.
'Oh just shut up.' I argued with myself. 'I fucking hate you, you know.' Thankfully the boys were all busy with errands and chores so I was left to think in peace. Well not really peace with the Joker in my head. But at least I could argue inside my brain without anyone else noticing.
'I will not shut up!' The Joker cackled back.
'You will shut up because I fucking hate you!' I sneered in my own thoughts.
'You already told me that, you know.'
I closed my eyes and sighed once more, pinching the bridge of my nose with frustration. What was I going to do? I couldn't just live with this voice in my head forever. Like jeez, I felt like a schizophrenic. Not the greatest feeling in the world, I'll admit. I'd only became crazy after the abduction. I was pretty darn normal before then. I really wish I hadn't walked to the store at one in the morning that day. Would've saved me a whole lot of trouble.
'Then again... I wouldn't have met Dick. I have no idea what I'd do without that boy.' I smiled to myself and didn't bother to listen what the Joker had to say about that. 'And living in a mansion is a plus. But these scars... This voice in my head... Definitely cons.' I actually giggled at that. And it wasn't one of my crazy giggles. It was genuine. Thinking about the pros and cons of being abducted was kind of humorous in a way, but I guess really only someone who was abducted could do that or others might find it a bit offensive...
"Okay, I should stop." I told myself out loud and mentally face-palmed myself for saying that out loud. 'Could you at least TRY to be normal, Claire? Just for once?'
'You'll never be normal, my lovely.' The Joker cooed in my brain, but it felt just as if he were whispering in my ear.
"Oh, would you just go away! You're really fucking annoying." I sighed once more wishing the wretched voice would just leave my head once and for all. I heard a gasp and turned around.
Alfred was in the doorway holding a tray with dirty dishes on them, probably bringing them to the sink to wash. "I'm sorry, Miss Watson. I'll leave right away." Alfred turned quickly and was halfway out the doorway when I spoke.
"No, Alfred! Come back! Please!" I pleaded. I felt horrible. I obviously hurt Alfred's feelings. I really just needed to be normal and stop talking about loud to myself when I got really really annoyed with the Joker or even just with myself.
Alfred walked in looking uncomfortable. He was clearly itching to leave the room to get away from my wretchedness.
"Alfred, I'm sorry. I wasn't talking to you. I didn't even now you were in the room!" I frowned at him. "I promise."
The expression of worry and anguish set on his face softened and changed to one of concern, yet understanding. He sighed and walked slowly over to me, placing the tray of dishes in front of me and sitting down in the seat next to me. He didn't even ask to sit down, which made me smile. He was actually more like an individual and less like a servant and I liked that. I wish he wouldn't be so resistant to join us at dinner time.
"Ah, Miss Watson," he began. "He's still there in your head, isn't he?" He pointed to his temple as he spoke and frowned slightly. I could tell he actually felt bad. I felt bad for myself too, but I didn't want pity. Pity was the worst thing I could get.
"I'm afraid so." I confided to him. I didn't really want to tell him that because he probably thought I was crazy, but I didn't know who else to turn to. I didn't want to tell Dick. I didn't want to put that pressure onto him. I would feel way too bad if I did so and he'd probably dump me and hate me forever for being so weird and insane. But I couldn't help it. The Joker did this to me. He ruined me.
It was like Alfred condo read my mind because naturally, he said "well, I can assure you, Miss Watson, that no one thinks you're crazy here. You're a victim and we are here to help you." He smiled at me softly and his forehead crinkled. I never really noticed how old he was until then. His blue eyes were dull and fading to a gray and his hairline was receding and gray. Poor Alfred. I wondered if he ever wanted to do something else with his life, something better than just being a butler.
"Alfred, please don't tell Dick. Please!" I pleaded and he nodded and promised. Then I asked him "Alfred, did you ever want to be something else other than a butler? It must be tiresome."
He looked at me with a smile. "Miss Watson, you seem to forgot I was in the military for some time and have medical training. But to answer your question, no. I've never really thought about it. I do enjoy serving master Bruce and Richard. I've never done anything else besides the military."
"Oh right!" I mentally face palmed myself. How could I be so stupid to forget? "I don't even know how I forgot! The military must have been strict. And I'd image a little intimidating and scary too."
I could see a spark ignite in his eyes as he began to speak about his adventures. He must have really been invested in his medical training there. "It was a bit at first, but once I began to know the men in my troop we became friends and fellow military men. We joked around and had some fun during our youthful day. At times I miss it, but I was meant to be here and here is where I shall stay."
"Would you mind to share some stories and experiences?"
"I would be honored to do so, Miss Watson."
"How many times have I told you to call me Claire, Alfred?" I laughed and smiled genuinely. Alfred sure knew how to make me feel better. And better yet, the Joker wasn't bothering me at the moment. It was nice to have my thoughts to myself for once.
"But Miss Watson has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Maybe even Mrs. Wayne?"
I laughed once more as Alfred raised a questioning eyebrow at me and hinted at the future he imagined for me.
"Maybe someday, Alfred. Maybe someday."