Characters: Wilbur
CW (spoilers!!!!) // Panic attack (?)
Summary: vent chapter
(as this is a vent chapter, don't be nice. i use humor to cope. not your shit ass inspirational quotes or messages. be funny in the comments, don't pity me)
(also, short and not proofread)
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I had ended stream. It was a nice fun stream, but I had little energy left. Realizing I hadn't played in a while, I stood up to grab my guitar case and practice for a bit.
As I begun to play the chords, I kept noticing how my left hand seemed to be ever-so-slightly high in pitch. I shifted it back and went through the chords again, the pitch sliding again. I decided to take a video of myself playing to see where I slipped and better hear my mistakes. As I looked over the video, it was awful. The entire guitar was out of tune. Of course I hadn't noticed with my shit pitch.
I grabbed my guitar tuner with a bit too much force and tuned my strings. This never happened. Normally when I practiced, my fingers didn't slide. Even when they weren't sweaty. Why do I sound worse now. Why is my voice always dry. Why don't I have a sense of pitch. Why can I barely find motivation to stream. Why is my progress stagnant in geoguessr. Why can't I manage to just take my medication.
I angrily put my guitar to the side as I feel my breath quicken. I tense my calves in an attempt to let out my anger, releasing a pain that reminded me I hadn't worked out in a week. Reminding me of every time I've tried to change but haven't of every time I dropped a hobby after days. Of every time I let people go for my own self gain. Of every time I-
Breathe, Wilbur. Breathe.
I guess I'll have to berate myself another time.
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272 words
Might make another update soon, I got an idea on the burner.
anyway, im a wilbur kinnie haha x3
see you all soon <3
2/15/21
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