addicted to you [dnf fanfic]

addicted~chp 1~

(CW/TW):descriptive mentions of relapsing, self harm, addiction, light smut, etc.‼️

i sat at the edge of my bed with tears streaming down my face. i cant do this anymore. i'm mentally exhausted, overthinking everything, and just can't deal with this anymore.

i shakily crouch down and get the bin under the bed. i told myself i would never relapse. but i just had too; it was the only way to make myself happy...

my hands were weak;shaking. slowly, i open the bin and grab the pack of cigarettes and the razor blade. i promised george i wouldn't do it again after i got back from rehab, but i needed to, i had to. lighting the cigarette with ease; i slip it in between my lips and lightly blow easing away the pain. my hand vibrates as i pick up the blade; i shouldn't...but i need to. i run the blade across my skin but hesitated as a slit the razor blade on my wrists. i groan in pain.

it hurts so bad but feels so good.

i know i shouldn't but i'm addicted.

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i hear a loud ring chiming from my phone. i set the blade aside as i read who the incoming facetime call is from; it-it's george..fuck. i wipe the tears streaming down my hot, red face as i answer.

"hey love, how are you doing"

"u-uh i'm good georgie" i stutter in my response plastering a smile on my face.

"clay please tell me how you feel, you know i care about you"

"georgie i'm fine." i insist.

"clay don't lie to me." i roll my eyes at what he says. he shouldn't worry about me...flustered;i lift my arm as i brush through my hair with my fingers. george's eyes flash; i think nothing of it..

"fine clay since you won't tell me, i'm coming over." he explains.

"oh fuck-" i mutter. i rush as i put the pack of cigarettes back in the box with the blade.

knock..knock..knock

fuck that's the door; i get up and slightly turn the knob to see george standing there. he's wearing a blue crewneck over a white collard shirt with a white, pleated tennis skirt. damn, he looks so pretty.

"h-hey georgie"

"clay i worry sick about you; i CARE about you."

"i know i know, but you SHOULDNT worry about me."

"god clay, you're so fucking annoying; you're a literal child."

"well okay daddy, no need to get feisty"

"clay please; my god it smells like smoke in here." fuck, i left my bedroom door open."clay were you-" he looks at my cut up arm.."I THOUGHT YOU STOPPED"

i looked down at him; god he was perfect. i grab his neck and pin him to the wall. "cl-clay" he whimpers. i start slowly making out with him. i move my hand towards his crotch to get a whimper out of him; he moans as i slip my tongue into his mouth. i can still feel his tent in his skirt.

i let go of his neck on push onto his shoulders so he can meet the crotch area of my sweatpants.
"baby boy, suck." he does as i say and pulls down my sweats to see the very large tent through my boxers.

painfully slowly, he pulls down my boxers and starts kissing my tip. he starts opening his mouth wider as i buck my hips forward and grab his hair.

"nmmhg" he moans as he's sucking my member.

"fu-fuck georgie, you're so good"

he licks my slit as i let out a small moan. i thrust myself deeper and deeper down george's throat; george grunts and tears stream down his face. i smirk at his pretty face; god he was gorgeous.

"it's okay baby boy" i pant,"you're so perfect georgie." i hit the back of george's throat when he let out a gag-like moan which sent vibrations through my whole body. god damn. i could take take it anymore; i cummed right into his mouth.
"swallow." i demanded; he did what i said as his eyes were still watering. i give him a slight kiss on the cheek as i wipe the tears on his face.

i slide back on my boxers and sweats as i grasp george's chin.

"you're to good to me baby boy."

"an-anything for you clay" he pants. george gets up from kneeling and looks into my eyes; he desperately needed water so i walk over to the kitchen and get him a bottle. he chugs it while still panting and teary eyed.

"stay for awhile, please georgie? i need you."

"oh, of course clay"

"i wish you could stay in that skirt forever georgie, but you can just be in your boxers when we sleep" i smirk at the thought of him waking up next to me, how nice.

we turn off the living room/kitchen lights and walk into my bedroom. george and i strip into just our boxers and climb into bed; george leans into my chest and we slowly start falling asleep.