Playing with Fire // Braddison

TwentyTwo.

trigger warning of sexual abuse - pls don't read the first half of this affects you negatively. And if you need anyone to speak to, I am here for you all ❤️

~ addison pov

"Are you sure about this?" Bryce asked me as we stood backstage at UCLA. I nodded, kissing him as I held his hands. I loved how much he always took care of me and worried about me.. but this was something I needed to do.

After Lilly exposed me last week, I stayed silent. I cried in my room a lot, I ignored my friends that reached out and tried to be there for me.. but I was tired of hiding. I asked Marissa to find me a way to share my story in my way that could make a bigger impact and help other girls that may be going through the same thing.

She brought me to UCLA.. to a club full of girls who had also been sexually abused. They formed a club, a safe place where they could share their stories and be there for each other, it was the most beautiful thing ever. And today, I would be sharing my story with them to hopefully empower them.

All of the damage that Lilly had done, I wasn't going to let her ever take control of my life. I would turn all of that into opportunities to help others and that's what I was hoping to do today.

As I walked onto the stage, I saw about two hundred women here.. and it instantly broke my heart. It hurt me that this many young beautiful women have been through this.. through the pain, the embarrassment, the torture of thinking you did something wrong to deserve it..

I waved at everyone, already getting emotional and having to wipe away a tear. I introduced myself to them, thanking them for having me before I began to speak of my story. I told them about my night out, my desire to just have fun which ended in disaster.

"I remember feeling so weak.. so helpless, just laying there, with the strongest desire to just die." I paused to take a deep breath to avoid crying but I couldn't help the tears that began to fall down my face. "I've never felt so lost.. it was like I was there, but after a moment, my body just went numb, as if it went into a total paralysis.. I didn't think I would make it out of that room, especially with being drugged daily." I said, visions coming back to me every time I closed my eyes.

"But I did.. I made it out and I survived. I am a survivor, just like you are a survivor. You live your life thinking this could never happen to you, and it breaks you once it does.. and you feel like you are living your entire life to just forget it, to make it okay.. but what happened to me, what has happened to us all, isn't okay. No woman should ever have to go through that. We shouldn't have to adapt to a standard of behavior or dressing just to not be raped.. males should be the ones to not see us as targets!!" I said, now yelling with anger.

I hated my rapist, I wanted to see him dead. Seeing him behind bars wasn't enough.. but I had to remind myself that was justice.. but I would make sure he never got out of there. I would fight for that.

"What I went through.. it had changed me for forever.. I can't even be touched without jumping at times. This is a trauma that we will have to live with for the rest of our lives.. but we shouldn't let it take over our lives. Because we deserve to be loved, we deserve to be treated right.. we deserve to be able to let our walls down with a guy without thinking he will take advantage of us.. because not every guy is the same. And I'm telling you that because I have found my prince charming.. and I know you all will too. I will pray for that because you all deserve the highest happiness in the world.."

Without Bryce, I would've never thought love was possible for me. He broke down my walls again, he was patient with me, and loving. He always made sure I was comfortable, he made sure I was okay.. Bryce made my pain, his pain.. and has always assured to be there for me. There was no other man like Bryce, but I wished a love like ours for these girls.