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by delacrim

by delacrim

二月・十一日・２０２１年 | February 11, 2021

3:58 pm

So far today has been alright. I'm so tired of online classes. It's really draining for some reason. I hope by next school year we can start going back to school without wearing masks, maybe?

Other than that I've been on the phone with my boyfriend all day, switching between my bed and desk. Earlier today my mom kept talking about the issues with her money lately. I listen to her but I'm over it at this point. I've been hearing it since I could hear, I swear.

Sometimes I wish I was born into a home with my mom and dad, both financially stable. But hey, it is what it is. What can I do? On the bright side, I have people my age that I'm super-cool with that take my mind off of it.

Recently a group that I'm apart of (on discord/roblox) started getting active again with new members joining. I've become close with a few recently. They're fun to talk to.

5:11 pm

Music really makes everything so much better. I think without music I'd be dead by now. Lately with my boyfriend, I've been feeling a bit odd. Not to get too personal but ever since I found out some things about how him and his ex were, I can't help but feel jealous.

We're in a long distance relationship, and they were REALLY close and whatnot. Meanwhile I've never had a REAL relationship before. Maybe if I did I would be less jealous?

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll get over it. So far, I've been watching some BTS RUN videos and have been listening to a few old songs by them. It really helps ease my overthinking.

9.39 pm

I just finished watching a few movies with my boyfriend. Our days really do revolve around each other. We've been dating since November. This time he didn't fall asleep as quickly as he usually does when we watch stuff but he started to doze off during the last movie. I really love when we laugh and have cute moments together, it makes me feel more secure about the relationship. I have a few assignments that were due today but tbh I think I'll either do it tomorrow or Saturday.

I honestly barely care about grades anymore. I know that way of thinking is toxic but at the end of the day we're in a never ending universe where time doesn't exist. I think homework should be the least thing stressing me out lmaoooo.

Just remember, it's deep but it's never that deep. Live your life and have fun. You can be successful without going to college. Do what makes you happy in this life. You can make money in so many ways.

I tell myself this and continue doing the things available to me that I can enjoy at the moment. It's deep but it's never that deep.

- goodnight and sweet dreams, zoe.