My Secret Family

Hospital

Sophie

43 kg and falling

The day dragged on with my mind distracted by other things. I had just sat through an entire psych lecture without registering a single word or taking a note. I didn't even know what section we were working on, something I'd have to crib off one of the other students later. The lecturer had asked me something and when I didn't register she moved on to someone else, the minor drama not even featuring in my thoughts.

After college I went to the hospital to visit Sue. Hospitals freaked me out, not because of all the sick people, but because everything was so busy and behind closed doors. I found my way through the blinding white corridors to Sue's ward, the reflections of the polished floor making me even more dizzy.

I was so proud of Sue, that she could survive all of this drama in her life, and all that was left was for her to recover and I would be there for her, I would be her best friend again.

I reached the ward and the night nurse ignored me for a while, making a point of typing in her phone while I waited at the counter.

"Hi," I tried to get her attention. The nurse continued to ignore me, lost in her conversation. "I'm here to visit Debbie-Sue in room 307. " The nurse looked up and frowned at me, as if I was an inconvenience to her chat.

"Oh? I don't think there is anyone with that name in this ward. " The nurse went back down to her chat, eager to be done with me.

"I know she's here. Could you check?"

She saw that I wasn't going away and put down her phone, pulling the keyboard of her terminal forward.

"Perhaps she's been processed."

Processed. A clinical word that sent a chill up my spine. The nurse turned to her computer and typed for what seemed like an age. There were only five rooms, but the nurse didn't seem to know who was in them. I looked around at the slow movement of the hospital staff, a cleaner with an electric floor machine wistfully moved between the rooms, dragging the filthy machine from room to room.

The night nurse looked up at me. "I'm sorry, but the patient in 307 is no longer with us."

"Where is she?" I asked, thinking that she must have been moved to a cleaner hospital. Her mother was particular like that.

"No, I mean she was disconnected. I'm sorry. The mother and her daughter were here this morning."

"Her daughter? You must be mistaken, Sue is an only child. Please check again. Sue. Sue Webber. Debbie-Sue Webber."

"Yes, that's the girl. Tiny little thing. " The night nurse gave a thin smile. "I'm sorry." She went back down to writing in her phone.

"No! Could you talk to me, please? What happened? They said she was stable."

"The mother signed the disconnection. Perhaps you could speak to her directly."

"Do you have her phone number?"

"I'm sorry, I can't give out that information."

I hung my head, the machine of bureaucracy would eventually erode every ounce of humanity from us. I put my head in my hands against the counter while the nurse shuffled a paper on her desk, avoiding eye contact.

"She has an office in town, " the nurse broke the silence. "Dianne Webber and associates, she actually handled my divorce. I'm afraid that's all I can tell you."

"Who was the girl with her? She doesn't have another daughter."

"Avery thin girl, like you." 

"Like me?"

The nurse nodded. I walked away, my head in a cloud. What was going on? Sue had  been in a coma, butwhen I phoned and demanded to speak to the doctor he had said there was an excellent chance ofrecovery.Sue. My dear sweet little Sue. My secret best friend.I walked to the public phones in the foyer, found Dianne Webber's office in the phone book and took thebus down-town to the business park.Dianne Webber's secretary let me in to her office after grumbling that she was very busy and shouldn't bedisturbed.

"What happened?" I said, before Sue's mother could look up from the file on her desk.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Sue's friend, Sophie. Sophie Krzinsky. We've met. Often."

"Oh, yes, I see. Well I'm sorry, Sophie, we decided to sign the disconnection. It was for the best." 

"I don't understand. You decided to pull the plug?"

"Well, you saw her face. You were driving after all."

"She was injured, she would have scars, yes. But you pulled the plug?"

"It was for the best, Sophie. Like your friend Ana said, what kind of a life would that be for her? She wasalready so sensitive about her looks."

When I heard Ana's name the world seemed to darken around me. Dianne Webber's cheekbones jutted outsharply under her skin, the dark rings under her eyes expertly covered with base, but leaving a tell-talediscoloration in the neon of the office.

"Ana? You know Ana?" I felt a cold chill run up and down my spine. Ana had manipulated Dianne Webber. Isuddenly guessed Ana's motive, why she would inject her vile voice into the ear of a mother... Ana wasgetting rid of the competition.

I dialed Ana's number but there was no answer, the metallic voice on the static-filled line said the number lhad dialed did not exist.

I stumbled out of the office, feeling like I had stepped out into a strange world, another crescendo in myhead, already broken and scarred from everything in my life.

I walked to the park and sat on the bench by the lake where a group of kids threw bread at the ducks in thewater, not trying to feed them, but hit them.

My phone rang.

Ana.