My Secret Family

Sugar Crash

Max

79 kg and falling

"Hey, what's up?"? I asked, and sat down next to Sophie outside the media building. She had a plaster on her nose and a black eye. I figure her boyfriend must have hit her, but I didn't want to bring it up directly.

"Not much, " she said, pulling out a cigarette.

"You can't smoke here, " I said, worried that some staff member would chase us away.

"Fuck this place. " She stood up and walked away. I stood up and followed her.

"Look," I said, "I'm not a monster, okay, I just want to have a conversation with you."

"Why?" Sophie put the pack of cigarettes back in her bag, lowered her dark glasses to cover her eyes.

"The usual reasons. But right now because I'm worried about you."

"Why the fuck does it matter what you think, Max?"

"Look, I'm sorry if I've offended you, or done something wrong, but, I just can't think what that is. Maybe you could tell me exactly what I've done that is so offensive to you."

"Listen, it's not a good time, okay, I'll talk to you, okay? But not now."

"Just tell me, Sophie, I'm not going to hate you or judge you or get weird. Okay, get weirder. Is he hurting you?"

She stopped and looked at me.

"You've lost weight, " she said, staring into my eyes.

"Yup. I'm on a hunger strike.

"A hunger strike? For what?"

"I'm protesting what you're doing to yourself, what I suspect your friends are doing to you."

She looked at me with no emotion, no expression; I had no idea what she was thinking.

"And how do you imagine that will end?" She asked with a sneer.

"I, um, hadn't thought that far ahead. How do you think it will end?" I didn't just mean me, I meant with her.

"I actually don't have a problem."

"You don't have a problem? You're severely underweight, you're pale, and you're, frankly, a little mean. " I said, trying to lighten the mood, but she didn't catch the subtlety of the joke. It wasn't really a joke anyway.

"Look, I already have a dad, okay, and thank you for looking out for me even though I didn't ask you to, but I have a boyfriend. And I'm going through a lot of shit right now. And Mia's dead, so you can stop worrying about it."

"What?" I tried to untangle what she had told me. Who was Mia? "Dead? You mean metaphorically?"

"No, she's dead, literally dead. She was killed in a car accident last Friday.

"Oh shit. Oh, I'm really sorry, I didn't know. She was your friend?"

"In a way. But yeah, I'm still trying to get over it. I was driving. I think it may have been my fault. And Sue's in a coma."

"Oh shit. Sue?"

"So if you could leave me alone for a while so that I can process all of this, that would be just aces.

"Sure, okay, I'm so sorry. You have my card, okay? If you need a friend I'm here for you. " It worried me that Sophie smelled faintly of puke instead of her usually soapy self.

"I tried to phone you, but... never mind." She looked down at her hands. "You seem like a sweet guy, but I don't want you to get tangled up in my problems. It's best for both of us if you keep away from me. I'm sorry. I have a friend. Ana is my friend.

"Ana? Who is Ana?"

"I told you when I came to pose for you, Ana, the girl I hang out with.

"I've never seen her. Is she thin too?"

"You have seen her. Ana. " Sophie nodded past me at an empty park bench. "The beautiful girl I'm always hanging around with."

"I don't understand."

Sophie walked away and I let her go, trying to figure out what she had just meant.