New Beginnings: ZeyBar One-Shots

I'll Do Anything

I started writing this before the episode aired, so the circumstances of this encounter are different (Mehdi gets out of  prison the day that Z and B argue)--but I was surprised at how much of the dialogue from the show matched what I had written as Zeynep's inner monologue! This is completely naughty fantasizing inspired by LegendofLisa's scenario for the only acceptable apology (don't judge Zeynep or Barış--or Lisa or me LOL), combined with sticking it to Mehdi because he deserves it. Do I think Z would actually do this or that B would actually allow this to happen at this point? No, but it's just for fun. LOL. Enjoy!

***

Zeynep stood outside of Barış's office, watching him work and trying to build up the courage to knock on his door. It was late, and everyone had already left, but he was still here. Barış was wearing his glasses, and he chewed on the end of his pen as he read the contents of the report in front of him, and she couldn't help but smile at his endearing seriousness.

The Little Prince--he really was so like him, and not just because of his fair coloring; he was pure and kind, curious and loyal. How could she ever compare him to Mehdi? She covered her face with her hands in shame and swiped at the tears that had started to fall again.

She knew what he was working on, and how important it was. She almost turned around and went back home, but it had taken a lot for her to come in the first place and she couldn't turn back now.

They'd had a huge blowout when he caught her coming out of the prison, and she'd stormed off, leaving him red-faced and fuming behind her. All the lies, all the resentment, all the hurt feelings and insecurities had come to a head and they'd both exploded. She cringed now thinking about the things she'd said to him--cruel things he didn't deserve. She felt like he'd put her on the defensive and she lashed out. She shouldn't have, but she did.

After she left him, she didn't know where to go or who to talk to, so she just walked until she found herself walking along the river, taking solace in the calm of the water--the water that was the same color as Barış's eyes. Tears flowed down her face as she thought about everything he'd said to her--all of it was the truth. She'd been selfish, manipulative, dishonest. She'd broken the law with no regard for herself, her career, or the reputation of the firm she worked for--Barış's firm.

And she'd lied to him. She couldn't get his look of hurt and betrayal out of her head.

He was completely right, and she'd been blind to it all this time. It was like she'd become a different person, and she was so ashamed.

What had she done? Who had she become? It finally hit her that she'd alienated everyone who cared about her. In her heart, she felt like there wasn't any other choice she could have made about defending Mehdi--she was his only chance. She knew he was innocent and she couldn't leave him to serve a sentence for something he didn't do--she just couldn't do it; it went against everything she was. But she knew that her mothers wouldn't approve, and she knew that Barış wouldn't approve and she didn't want to deal with their disapproval.

She felt like no matter what she did, there was always someone who was unhappy with her and it was exhausting trying to please everyone. She was tired of being told what to do, she was so tired of being judged and blamed for everything she did, and she used that as justification in her own mind for going against everything her rational brain told her was right and hiding it.

The trial was over now, and Mehdi was free. She was free of her obligation to him and his family. She wanted to move on. She wanted to start a new chapter in her life, and she wanted Barış to be part of it.

Even though it had happened in the worst way and it caused this huge rift between them, Zeynep was happy that everything had come out. It was hard keeping secrets from Barış, and she didn't want to anymore. She needed him to understand her. If he couldn't accept her for who she was, then she didn't want him and she had to find some way to get him out of her heart before he took root.