The Colors In Her Voice

☆Chapter 29☆

My heart was beating so fast that I could literally feel my whole body vibrating. My hands were shaking and sweating too much to actually hold anything properly even after putting a deep concentration. My mind was in a total haywire. All in all, my insides were a mess and churning with fear. More like stage fear.

Today is finally my mom's birthday. It's actually been a month since we've all been practicing for this day. I was excited to surprise her, no doubt there but then my apprehension decided to be a part of it too. I might have performed on the stage once but I couldn't remember how to not be nervous.

Like usual, my mom had to leave for work which I didn't mind, in fact it's perfect for my plan. Although, I had prepared her favorite breakfast by waking up a wee bit earlier than I usually do. 

To top it all off, I'd placed a small gift box I had bought for her in the midst of my chaotic life. It was a lucky charm bracelet that was really pretty and it suited her so much. I know that it's not much but she loved it and my heart fluttered in pride to see the genuine smile on her face.

I had a talk with the hotel manager the other day about performing in the club where my mom works. It was so hard to make him give me an affirmative answer. 

Paying for the performance in his club was number one demand on his list. He wouldn't budge from his argument so I had to relent. I haven't received my paycheck yet so I had relied on my personal savings. When I'd said this to my group, they contributed even when I literally threatened them not to.

Dressing up for this event was the most difficult task for me out of everyone. Bethany was wearing a simple, black knee length, body hugging dress. It accentuated her figure very well. She paired it up with black stilettos and light makeup. She had said that sometimes music needs simplicity that people often overlook which is why she's dressed accordingly. 

I'd admit that her words were very intelligent but they didn't make any sense here. Mason was wearing dark wash jeans and a navy blue t-shirt while Dylan wore black jeans and a black t-shirt. The twins were really twinning.

Me on the other hand didn't like to wear dresses. Because for one, I don't have any curves to show off. Being skinny is not all that good as people make it out to be. And two, I don't have many dresses except for a few old ones. 

Bethany insisted on giving me one but I wasn't ready to get picked at by looking like a log in a pretty dress. So I decided to go with my style. I wore my new pair of mom jeans. Wearing mom jeans gives my insecurities some comfort because it helps me hide my scrawny legs. I was actually going for a sweatshirt but Bethany had to remind me that it's my mom's birthday and that I should wear something classy instead of comfy.

'I can try, right? For my mom.' I tried convincing myself. 

Bethany had ordered me to wear a cute, light blue, sleeveless crop top that I remember buying a few months ago but never wearing it. I liked it because of its floral prints. I don't wear it because it puts my non-existent biceps in view. Imagine my horror when Bethany had thrusted it in my hands. Nevertheless, I wore it along with my favourite shoes that I had reserved for the special occasions. She also helped me out by tying my hair in a perfect top knot.

As for make-up, she insisted that I go with something dark but I just ended up applying a thin coat of lip gloss. I was so busy vocalizing and reading the lyrics that I couldn't sit still to do the heavy make-up.

“Let go of your body insecurities for one day,” Bethany had told me. “Besides, you look a combination of hot, cute and badass, all in one,” she'd encouraged me with a huge grin and lifted up my confidence a notch. Least to say, I was looking like a sore thumb out of all of us.