When Everything Turns to Gray

Chapter 2: Shades of Gray

Tumila na ang ulan at saktong katatapos lang ng klase namin. I sighed in relief. Last subject for this day. Oh, I really love Fridays. The class was just until three o'clock compared to any other school days.

"Tingnan mo, ang ganda no'ng rainbow."

Narinig kong sabi ng kaklase ko paglabas pa lang ng room namin. Tumingin ako sa kanya. She pointed to the sky and looked at the rainbow in astonishment.

If I could just see like how they looked at it, mamamangha rin siguro ako. Who wouldn't want to see its beauty? But my vision was not how it used to be. It was different from them.

Tumingala ako sa kalangitan. Seeing the rainbow right now, it just looked like a white arc in the gray sky, not a colorful one.

"Oo nga 'no. Let me take a picture," her friend agreed. "Pang-story lang," dugtong pa nito.

I smirked upon the mention of the word "story." A memory flashed in my mind.

She took out her phone and tried to find the best shot to capture the colorful curved line.

Take note of the sarcasm.

The rainbow was not as colorful as it was before. I used to admire it. Hindi ko na magagawa ngayon.

ROY G. BIV

Natatandaan ko pa ang mnemonic na 'yan para mas madaling makilala ang kulay ng bahaghari. I think those colors would just be retained in my mind. I couldn't even distinguish which is which.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. I missed those years I spent seeing how colorful the rainbow was.

The world was.

It had been two years. Two years since I've been seeing everything around me in black and white after that unfortunate day. I should be used to it. Pero, hindi eh. Mas lalo akong nahihirapang tanggapin na nangyari sa'kin 'to. What did I do to deserve this kind of misery?

And there's that rainbow na pinapamukha sa akin kung gaano ka-colorful ang buhay ko. Insert sarcasm.

Aish, enough with this another episode of "Why I Hate the Rainbow."

Inalis ko ang tingin sa arkong 'yon. Mabuti pang umalis na lang ako. I sighed. Naglakad ako palayo sa nakaka-bitter na eksena.

Umuwi sa bahay at mag-aral. Yeah, that's the right thing to do.

"Ganyan na nga ang kondisyon mo, hindi ka pa magtitino."

Parang naririnig ko naman ang boses ni Dad. He pointed out what a failure I was. I'd admit, when I learned that this condition became permanent, I lost my interest in studying during Senior High. Sino ba naman ang gaganahan lalo na kung 'di mo gusto ang ginagawa mo?

"Arts and Design? Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo, Ash? You're just making things more difficult for you."

I planned to take Arts and Design track; but, this shit happened. So, Dad forced me to take Academic track instead. ABM strand, specifically. Mahihirapan lang daw ako. What a father figure he was! As if he cared. I know, he wasn't really concerned. Gusto naman talaga niya na business-related ang kunin ko. Even before, he was against me taking any art-related course. Wala daw akong mapapala ro'n.

Well, he got some point. If I pursue what I wanted, this cerebral achromatop-shit would be a hindrance. Tinanggap ko na lang na mas makabubuti 'to sa 'kin.

In terms of my studies, it was difficult to adjust. Well, I could be considered a visually-impaired individual. But my parents wanted me to continue studying in mainstream high school. It was also what I wanted—to live normally.