The Rise Of Sir Pendergast The Great

Chapter II: For Heaven's Sake

Luci stomps and puffs around Heaven, kicking over tiny clouds as if they were rocks.

"This is such bull," he rants to himself. "I should be down there, in Hell, helping Bean. She's wandering down there, all by herself, with Dagmar on her tail. I've got to get God to smite me, somehow."

He bumps into somebody.

"Excuse me," says the person.

Luci looks up at the sound of their voice.

"Pendergast?" he cries.

Pendergast seems even more surprised to see Luci. "Princess Bean's talking cat? Are you, uh, are you in the right place?"

"No!" snaps Luci. "I should be in Hell, helping Bean."

"Helping Bean? In Hell? Has she died?"

"No," Luci explains to him. "Dagmar dragged her down there to get married, but Bean escaped. I watched the whole thing, but since she's wandering around aimlessly in Hell now, I can't get a visual anymore."

He swirls the clouds at his feet into a seeing circle, which shows nothing but static.

"This does not bode well." Pendergast ponders, then sighs. "But I don't see what we can do about it."

"Being headless sucks," agrees Luci.

"How was your journey through the otherworldly desert to get here?"

"What are you talking about? I got straight here."

"Are you serious?" Pendergast frowns. "I journeyed for what felt like months. It was horrible! No monsters except for the ones that rose from my own head." He shivers. "So much self-reflection!"

"Hey, gotta love the new eye, though," Luci indicates to Pendergast's restored eye.

The knight shrugs. "I suppose. I'm not used to it, honestly. I keep scratching it."

He draws his nails across his open right eye. "Ow."

Luci looks down to where the clouds part at Pendergast's feet. Five people dressed in cloaks are trying to carry Zog down a narrow hallway.

"Whoa," says Luci, interested. "What're you watching?"

"King Zog," Pendergast sighs. "I truly failed him."

"Yeah," Luci concurs. "Your death literally drove him insane. Look at that! I mean, he totally thought you were breaking him out, and getting him to safety. But, instead, he saw your head on a pike, and had to come to the realization that he was going to be buried alive on the spot. Man, they're shooting drugged darts at him! But he's still rampaging! This is awesome. I mean, even a great, violent warrior king like Zog would crack under that level of failure from his most trusted ally. The only person he believed would come through. Boom, they got him!"

Pendergast only manages to let out a small, sorry sound.

"Yeah," Luci continues. "The knights, like, totally fell apart too. Bean had to rely on Turbish and Mertz when she was queen--"

"Dear God," Pendergast clutches his head in shock. "Bean, as queen? Without a man? But who commanded the army? She's not even allowed in the council chamber!"

"--I mean, it's kind of no wonder Dreamland fell into complete ruin once the ogres attacked."

"Ogres? Aah!" Pendergast kicks a bigger cloud, dissolving it to pieces. "My death was a complete waste! I should be down there, fighting!"

Luci allows his laughter to subside naturally, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Hoo," he sighs. "Thanks man, I needed that cheering up. Now I think I'm ready to check on my body." Luci waved his hand around the space in the clouds, just as King Zog gets injected with a pink potion.