Dilemma

21

Last night was definitely a night to remember, we spent most of the night making love and I was terribly sleepy and sore the next morning. But I made sure I got in time to meet Keith. I found the letter in my mailbox and decided to read it on my way there. But before anything Marianne phoned me.

"Ally, I know you're going to see him. He's worrying all of us. He is constantly having drugs, at least four times a week. He is a nervous wreck and doesn't sleep. Please try to talk to him, he only listens to you,"

I wasn't sure what was going on with him, but I decided to give it a try and hope to help him as best as I could. Without hesitation, once we ended the call, I ripped the letter open and began to read it:

"Dear Alice,

I haven't see you in a while, but I still can't get you out of my head. It's not the same with Anita or anybody else. I know you're with George now, but he is a Beatle, he's got no time for anybody, especially for someone who is also busy working like you. Sooner or later he'll ask you to quit, if you were with me, I would let you follow your dreams. The point is, I just believe we would be better together. Give me a second chance, you and I both know we are meant to be together. If you have a change of heart and would consider it, meet me at Apple records in the private sofa room. If you are worried about Anita, don't be. I'll break up with her, if it means I get to be with you. Even your family likes me, common, just give this poor hopeless guy a chance! Let's talk soon anyways, I truly miss you.

I love you and always will,

Keef."

Oh dear! I feel so bad for him! If he had written this before, I might have considered it. But I am so happy and engaged! 

Once I arrived at the café, I spotted the owner. He took me upstairs to a private room, where Keith was, to avoid anyone recognising us. 

There he was reading the newspaper and laughing at it. Two cups of tea beside him and a freshly lighted cigarette resting on the ashtray. When he heard my footsteps, he immediately got up, wiped his white powdered nose put, the newspaper away, fixed his hair and greeted me. I noticed my slap, had left a reddish rash on his face, and sense of guilt pervaded all of my body.

"I'll go lock the door. We don't want any eavesdropping happening," He made sure we were in complete privacy. 

I sat down, I was kind of nervous. Here he was about to let his heart out and tell me how much he loves me and I was about to rip it all apart. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so, I prayed things would go smoothly. He got to his chair and we smiled at each other awkwardly. 

"So, I just read the letter..." I began, and took a sip from the teacup. 

"Before we talk about that, I want to apologise for everything I did yesterday. I'm such an idiot! you know Anita and I solve things by making love and I forgot... you know. Whatever, that doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done that. It was inappropriate and you know I'm going through so many things and I mean... you know," He wasn't making a lot of sense, but he kept on tapping his left foot and I could tell he was really nervous. I knew about his social anxiety, so I went easy on him, as I used to have it and I still sometimes have it, but not as severely.

I put my hand on top of his arm, to try to calm him down. "Keith, let's breathe," He listened to me and we both did a quick breathing exercise. I thought this would help him, like it used to back when we were together. He looked way better and less nervous.

"Thank you, babe" He felt relieved somehow. "It's okay. I'll start with the talking then..." I responded.

"Look, I know you want us to get back together again, but the truth is... I'm really happy right now. I actually think I have found the love of my life and I..." I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything, so I made sure I said nice things about him too.

"You will always remain in my heart, I mean you were my first everything! My first boyfriend, my first kiss, and you took my virginity for god's sake! And you are an amazing friend and that is why I want to keep our relationship alive, but purely platonic. I love many people, and you are one of them, but I love George like no other! I know it's difficult, but hey I spent weeks crying my balls out when we were over, but eventually I got over it," I tried to explaining how I felt as nicely as I could.

He clenched his jaw and I could feel him disagree with what I was saying. He tried to take deep breaths in and out but his foot started to tap anxiously again and I feared he was having a panic attack. I looked into his eyes, he was high. I soon realised this was getting ridiculous. He let go of my hand and went on one knee.

"I fucking love you Alice! Everything! All of your little imperfections are the most attractive thing about you!" He shouted like a crazy man. My heart dropped.

"Shhh, Keith, let's get up," I brushed his hair gently. "My life doesn't make sense without you in it!" He insisted and wouldn't get up. He closed his eyes took a ring out of his pocket and pronounced the following words, "Ally will you marry me?"