I love to read. I love to read. I love love love to read.
Reading is my outlet. Reading is my escape. These are such cliche phrases but god, they're so true.
Sometimes, it hurts to know that I'm not a good writer. Sure, I can write your run-of-the-mill 5 paragraph essay within an hour and get an A, but that says more about the public education system than it does about my writing skills. Loving reading makes me want to have my own words. Words that I can say are mine and words that I put together in a way that nobody else can. I want to be able to write. I want that natural ability some people have where words are just a puzzle and they just put the pieces together and everything just makes sense. That ability to write metaphors about something and not sound like either a pretentious piece of shit or an uneducated bumpkin. The ability to say something in 5 words that takes others 10 words to say. I want this ability so bad. I've wanted to be a good writer since I was 6.
I'm not always this bitter idiot that's in a self-pitying rut, I promise. I just get this feeling sometimes. But when I do, god, it's like a punch straight to my heart. Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurts you? So much that it makes you think dangerously for a minute, just a minute, of all the things you would give to have it? That's what writing is to me.
