'Sometimes we have to sacrifice our youths in order to let people live.'
Tulia Byrne has been a Queen for longer than she could remember. Her story begins so carefree and so full of love and yet by the end of it you'll be wondering if you even know...
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3rd November 1562 I've had to talk down Melody from killing Charles at least seven times in the three days he's been here, no matter what he does or how he acts towards me she just doesn't like him. Caoimhe wants me to give him a chance and Sophia and Gwendolyn are sticking to their idea of not forgiving him until he gets rid of Nicole.
Finnan is acting like my father, giving Charles the cold shoulder whenever he would try and spark a conversation with him. Adelaise is trying her best to be pleasant and welcoming but I can tell its hard for her.
The Leon's are free from any form of service whilst their sister is here and that seems to have please Alix greatly. I am surrounded by my family and yet I have never felt so alone. Charles has stayed strong with his promise and has taken to spending as much time as possible with Harry, Catherine spends her days with either Harry or John and I am left with only my duties for comfort.
5th December 1562 Its been two years. Two whole years without Francis and yet it feels like only yesterday I last saw his face. John is seeing Harry with Charles and he asks where his father is, I don't know what to do, what to say. How to I tell a three-year-old child that they will never get to know their father in the way that everyone else has.
10th December 1562 Charles, Catherine and Anastasie have returned to France and they've taken John. It was hard to say goodbye to the boy, the boy that I now regarded as my son. But I had to keep my promise to Narcisse in that I would not take the last thing that links him to Lola away from him. It was a teary goodbye and he didn't' want to go, but I couldn't stop it. We will surely meet again.
It was nice to see Charles again, once I had warmed up to the idea of him being here. His attention and devotion was solely on me, and I couldn't help but be reminded what it was like before he brought HER into our home.
24th January 1563 My dearest aunt Elizabeth has sent my son a belated birthday present, how very kind of her to offer him the English throne upon her death. How saddening it is that she is resorting to favour my son over me.
Recognising my son as her heir almost confirms that she is afraid of my forces, I have everything that she can never obtain and she is scared. A Valois will not sit on the throne of England unless I sit on it first.
13th April 1563 Twenty years I have been alive, nearly ten of those I have been Queen. This year marks my tenth year on the Irish throne and my third year on the French. I have been true to my word and have not stepped foot in France since I left nearly a year ago.
Charles could not be here for my birthday and I fear that the time I spent with him in November was the last I would spend with him all together. Catherine says he is ill and that his health is deteriorating by the day. He wants me to be there for him but I can't bring myself to go. And so I sent my son in my stead.
And once again, I am alone.
3rd May 1563 My sources have confirmed that my son has arrived safely in France with Alix and Leith, and they also tell me that Charles is getting better. My conscience is spared for another day.
Court is lonely without my boys, but I must learn to live without them. They will not be babies forever, that much I know for sure.
27th June 1563 Charles' birthday has arrived yet again and I am not there. He has requested my presence but truthfully, this time, I am too busy with uprisings in the North. There has been a famine and there is not enough food to go around.
Sophia was not happy about it but I sent her over to negotiate with King Charles about any grain that he can spare. I wanted to go myself but the news of their Queen leaving the country at a time when they need them most is not an action I am willing to commit. Even if my intentions are well, the locals will see it as an abandonment and I cannot do that to them. Not when my position against Elizabeth is at its weakest.
1st July 1563 They have returned. John and Harry have returned with Narcisse. John's fourth birthday is in a matter of days and small preparations have been made. Narcisse and John seem to have bonded exceedingly well in the time that they have spent together.
This makes me happy because it means that with all the time that he has spent with him, he was not scared. Narcisse has been teaching the boy about his mother, Lola, and to see him talking about her reminds me that people do not truly die unless they are forgotten. I know now that Francis will never truly die, and neither will I.
6th July 1563 Narcisse and I have been strategizing about England, he feels that it would be a good idea to enlist Mary to help me. Mary has a claim to the English throne too, if she was to restate her claim the England it would worry Elizabeth... and in the words of Sophia, 'people act irrationally when they are scared.'
29th September 1563 I know what I must do. And I know when I should do it.
There is no point in devising a plan to unite England with Ireland when my own country is not unified. I must wait. I must show them that I am capable of running a country, much more capable than Elizabeth.
The people of England hated my mother, that much was true, but they did have a love for my father. I must show them that I am not my mother. I have to convince them that I am a Tudor at heart, but that my mind and actions reflect the name I rule under, Byrne.
13th October 1563 Narcisse and John have returned back to France and my plan will now be set in motion. I will prioritise my country over everything else. As soon as there is an ounce of unity here, I will ignite the fire that will allow me to take what is mine.
AN- lickle diary entry for you there, new character in the next chapter, its not henri, but hes been mentioned before. i appreciate that you all want henri to arrive soon but it puts me off writing other scenes cause im not giving you what you want 🥺 im not having a go, im just saying be patient. there will probs be another chapter published later, depends when i get it finished :)
