Choices

Quite the ride

The bright lights from the morning sun seeped in through the blinds caressing every inch of Mark's face illuminating his sharp features and the purple under his eyes. He scrunched his nose slightly turning around in his bed and pulling the covers over his head to drain out the sound of cars that accompanied the rays of the sun every morning. He stirred around in his bed, the weighted blanket falling of his frame as he desperately tried to fall asleep once again. A few seconds later he could feel himself slipping back into sleep when cold fingers harshly impacted with his forehead making him grab the thing nearest to him in an attempt to hit the person who was responsible for disturbing him.
M

ark was on his knees in the middle of a heap of white sheets, a pillow held in both of his hands tightly as he came face to face with his assailant. Johnny stood in the middle of the room with his hands up in mock defeat and a smile adorning his face as he looked at his startled younger brother. Mark stayed still in the position he was in his half-asleep brain still trying to process the whole situation.
"Hey" the blonde-haired boy spoke up waving his hand at his younger brother who leaped off the bed within a split second of him doing so, pulling him into a tight hug that left Johnny fighting for his breath. He eventually rested his hands-on top of Mark's head patting it slightly as the boy kept his arms firmly around the older boy worried if he let go, he may disappear.
"Are you okay?" Johnny asks after a moment of silence as he felt the nimble fingers of his younger brother clutch onto the back of his t-shirt, refusing to look up from where his head was buried in the elder's chest. Mark softly mumbled a "No" shaking his head slightly creasing Johnny's clothes.

-

Mark was currently sitting at the edge of his bed with his head hanging low after pouring his eyes out on Johnny's now slightly wet t-shirt while his older brother was looking through his suitcase in the room across from Mark's that hadn't been lived in for more than half a year. Johnny wasn't quite sure what he was venting about, the only words that made any sense to him were 'no' and 'messed up' and he wasn't really sure what to make of that but it looked like he really needed to let it all out. Seeing his brother right across from his room sitting still on his bed his body hunched forward made him feel all that worse knowing that in the midst of trying to cope with college and the numerous assignments that came with it he had completely neglected his brother and left him alone to take all the burden of being a new adult along with whatever his parents were putting him through. Something he never wanted his baby brother to experience all by himself.

"Hey" Johnny called out throwing a pack of Doritos on Mark's lap. It had somehow become a tradition for Johnny to buy some kind of rare to find or nostalgic snack from the airport for his brother when returning from college and this time it just so happened to be a pack of limited-edition rainbow Dorito's. Mark hadn't officially or in any way come out to him so this was his way of reassuring his younger brother. And since he wasn't someone who was good with showing emotions showering his loved ones with food and small gifts would have to do for now. Mark quietly mumbled a small 'thanks' before placing the packet on the bed beside him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Johnny asks cautiously as he takes a seat on the black swivel chair in front of the brunette who had his eyes fixed on the ground for the last five minutes.
"I- I don't even know where to start" Mark says brushing his fingers through his hair looking anywhere but at his brother eyes not wanting to see the pity he was sure was filled in them.
"Well, what's bothering you most?" Johnny asks trying to get his younger brother to tell him something, anything because unfortunately the incapability of expressing emotions was something everyone in his house possessed.
"What's bothering me the most? Huh?" Mark says rhetorically a sarcastic chuckle falling off his lips as he finally looks up at his brother. Johnny's eyes were filled more with concern than pity for his younger brother who looked almost hysterical as he got up from his position strolling in the small space between the window opening up to the street outside and his unmade bed, his hands clawing at his unkempt hair.
"What's bothering me the most you ask?" Mark repeats his bloodshot eyes getting darker with every word that left his lips. "Well maybe it's the fact that I haven't passed a single test since S-September or maybe its because I finally got the courage to come out to mom and dad and they made it very-very clear that do not and will not support me or maybe it's because I somehow lost all my friends in the span of two days or because I finally let someone in and I've never felt more broken before" Johnny watched as Mark rested his elbows on the ledge of the window burying his face in the palm of his hands puffing out an exhausted sigh. It had been less than an hour since he woke up and he was already felt tired.
"Look, as a teenager people do a lot of stupid shit, I did a lot of stupid shit too" Johnny said making his brother turn around to look at him with his puffy red eyes "that doesn't mean all of it is right but sometimes we do certain things knowing it's wrong but we do it because we want to or just because we don't know better. Teenagers are stupid okay?" Johnny says sitting back in the chair and taking a deep breath before continuing
"My point is you're pretty much going to regret everything you do" he said his voice softer than before as he sat up looking at his brothers focused yet roaming eyes. "You don't get that many chances for redemption in life. So, if there's something you wanna do or someone you wanna chase. Do it"
"I- Mark starts when a loud alarm like sound blares from outside making him slightly flinch as their father backs his flashy red car into the driveway.
"Oh finally" Johnny exclaims getting up from the black leather chair going up to the window to see if his prediction was right and it in fact was but he in all honesty he was hoping it was his mother that being said it's not as if he had a good relation with either of them. "Hey do you think he'll like-" Before he could even finish framing the question the figure that was standing beside him flew past him in the blink of an eye leaving him in frozen bewilderment gaping at his younger brother who hurried past the doorway that led into his room not caring to grab a jacket or his phone for that matter.
It almost felt like his legs had a brain of their own as he sped past his brother and practically sprinted down the stairs skipping a few steps, using the railing for support before running out of his house not even stopping to greet his father at the doorstep not like he would do it if it were any other day. It would be easier and faster too if he had just taken his car or even a cab but with the endorphins pulsing in his body, his brain was far more clouded than his eyes that could barely make out the faces of the people he ran past knowing full well he probably looked hysterical but he couldn't get himself to care. There was only one thing on his mind right now and that person was currently laying on his bed staring at the ceiling with blank eyes.
As Mark ran towards his destination the only thing that was clear to him was the way he felt. He knew they weren't perfect but that that didn't stop his heart from aching every time he saw him or the throbbing pain in his chest when someone else touched him or held him the way he so desperately wanted to. This is going to hurt he mentally notes as he comes to a halting stop in front of the familiar beige house taking a deep breath before pushing the gate open. This was going to hurt but it would hurt far worse if he didn't at least give it a try.

A/N:

I know I haven't updated in so so long don't even know if any of you are reading but this is in fact the second last chapter or maybe third and I can't wait to finish it cause i know I left it on a bit of a cliff hanger anyways bye bye