Choices

Heart to Heart

There was still a few hours of daylight left, a light tinge of yellow strewn across the vast expanse of the sky. Mark sat on top of the hood of his car, the hot metal of the car contrasting the cool weather surrounding him. The parking lot was practically empty except for a few cars belonging to football players who had to stay back for practice as well some others who had club meetings. Mark leaned back onto the windscreen, scrolling through his phone as he patiently waited for Lucas to finish practice. Mark hadn't had a proper conversation with him since the day he lashed out on him.

Mark didn't want to lose his best friend over an unnecessary outburst not when there was already so much at stake for him. He sat up again when he saw Lucas making his way towards his parked car which was right beside Mark's. His heart sank for a minute as he saw Lucas unlock his car doors to toss his duffel bag inside. Lucas looked back at Mark before making his way to the front of the car, leaning on the passenger side door with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Hey" Mark said from his position on top of the car.

"Hey" Lucas said putting his hands in his short pockets.

"Look, I..." Mark started getting interrupted by Lucas midway.

"You don't have to"

"I do. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was completely out of line; I should have never put you in that position. That wasn't your fault. None of this has been your fault." Mark said turning towards Lucas his legs hanging off the side of the car.

"I'm sorry for being such a bad friend." Mark added after a small pause.

Lucas took his eyes off the ground looking towards the apologetic expression on Mark's face. He wasn't angry at Mark he couldn't be, this was the one person he always had by his side even when no one else was. Lucas wanted to speak his mind, he wanted to tell Mark the truth but that would just make everything worse. So he bit back his tongue instead asking

"So did he choose you?"

"No" Mark said his hands on his lap.

"He chose that Jaemin guy?" Lucas asked seeing Mark shake his hand, still refusing to make eye contact.

"So you're both still with 'him'?" Lucas asked cautiously not wanting to tick him off again.

"Yeah" Mark said putting his head in his hands

"Mark..."

"I know what you're going to say. He's only using you; don't let him play you like that. Blah blah blah. I'm not in the mood" Mark knew Lucas only wanted what was best for him, he wanted to believe Lucas would understand.

"What does he mean to you?" Lucas finally asked after a few seconds of silence. "Haechan"

"Honestly I done even know" Mark said smiling as he heard the nickname leave Lucas' mouth.

"It's complicated. I want him to be mine but if the only way I can have him is by sharing him. That's okay too." He added looking past Lucas at the now completely empty parking lot.

"You're screwed dude. Like colossally screwed" Lucas said chuckling lightly as he saw Mark shake his head whispering a tiny

"I know"

"Mark, I don't entirely or at all approve of Haechan and I hardly think I'll be able to identify with your situation, whatever it is. But just know that I'll always be here for you" Lucas said stepping closer to Mark's car.

"Lu..."

"I'm not done yet" Lucas scolded putting up a finger in front of his face to make him quiet.