Black Diamond

29

Normani

October 

It's officially been about 6 months since I found out Beyoncé was my mother, and it has truly been a roller coaster ride. But I can also thankfully say that not too much has changed. I'm still a secret from the media, thank God, we haven't had any slip ups, which is amazing considering how much we all talk and see each other whenever we can. Aunt Michelle comes to visit Aunt Kelly and her family a lot so a lot of the times the girls and I go over Aunt Kelly's house she's already there. And of course, my mom facetimes us whenever she gets a chance. One person that I haven't had much interaction with, and I'm not complaining at all, is Jay. I try to stay as far away and out of his way as possible. I know he apologized and I forgave him but I don't want to take any chances and risk getting hurt like that again, and I mainly feel that way because Jay strikes me as the type of person to apologize because he doesn't want you to be mad at him anymore, not necessarily because he feels like he was wrong, and that's an energy I can't really rock with. So to protect myself, I try to keep all interaction to a minimum. I think my mom noticed, but she hasn't spoken on it, which I appreciate. 

I have really hit the ground running when it has come to school, oh my gosh I am so close to the finish line, I honestly feel like nothing can stop me. I didn't pick up my minor until late last year, thankfully I only had to take 15 hours’ worth of classes to fulfill those degree requirements, so I will be done with that by the end of the semester. I honestly went out on a whim and chose psychology as my minor but since I've been taking these various courses, I've really learned so much and honestly if this art thing doesn't work out, I can seriously see myself pursuing a career in psychology. Or I might just go to grad school and work towards my masters. Who knows, the possibilities are endless. My mom and I were talking one day and she thinks I should consider singing and I just don't see it. Both of my parents are in the limelight and I like my privacy. I like my privacy and the freedom it gives me. Maybe one day in the future I may consider it, but as for right now, art and very possibly psychology, is my life. 

Right now, it's fall break and I'm so glad. The burnout is real, and I was about to start cashing in those unexcused absences professors give us at the beginning of the semester. I have four days to just chill and do nothing, and I intend to do just that, well at least for the first couple of days. The girls and I have been thinking about flying out somewhere for the weekend, we just don't know where. Well, there's no point in wasting time, the weekend will be over before we know it, so let me go see what ideas they have. I get out my bed and walk into the living room, which is empty, but I hear them talking, so I know they must be in the creative room. When I walk in, I see Z in her space reading and Ry in her space sewing. 

"You mean to tell me we have a break from doing work and the first thing I see y'all in here doing is...work?" I ask making the international wtf hand sign. I go over to my space and sit down. 

"I was watching Sabrina last night and I got inspired so this morning I got up and started sketching, and now I'm sewing," Ryan replied absentmindedly. 

Z just yawned and turned the page of her book, "I was just bored. I heard Ryan in here so I thought I would bother her but she's not paying me no mind so I decided to catch up on To Kill A Mockingbird," she said holding up her book to show me the cover. 

I nodded in approval of her choice in literature, "Good choice, always a classic." She merely winked back.

"Alright girls, we need to make a decision on where we want to go for fall break, the weekend will be over before you know it and I don't want to waste any time. I was thinking Vegas, or New Orleans?"

Ryan stopped what she was doing and looked up in thought, "Hmm...Vegas...Caesar's Palace, gambling, lots of drinking... I like it. What you think Z?"

By then Z had long put her book down and was halfway out the door, "You had me at Vegas. I'm about to start packing. Come on y'all, and in the words of the great Erykah Badu, pack light," she said as she walked out. 

We laughed as we got up to head out and start packing as well. As I was walking into my room, Z burst out of her room and ran up to me, with her eyes full of panic, "Mani, you need to check your phone. Right. Now."

The look on her face put me into a sheer panic. Lord I hope this isn't what I think it is, I thought to myself. I quickly rushed over to my phone, that was blowing up with notifications and I went to my IG, where I saw the photo of me, Beyoncé, and Matthew on all of the major blog sites. 

"Who is This Mystery Girl With Beyoncé?"

"Beyoncé Has A Secret Love Child?"

"Update: Daughter of Famous Photographer, Also Secret Daughter of Superstar Beyoncé?

My heart pounded as I went to The Shade Room. I clicked on the photo and read the caption. 

"TSRScoop: Oop, Roomates there's a photo circulating online of Beyoncé, her father, and a Mystery Girl, who we think may be Queen Bey's secret love child, who just so happens to be the daughter of the famous photographer known as Lance. We discovered the photo this morning from an anonymous source, who also claimed that Beyoncé abandoned her as a baby to become the Megastar we know today. Do you think there’s any truth to this, roomies? Post your thoughts in the comments below."

My world felt like it was closing in on me and I felt as if I was going to pass out. My secret is out, my life is over, I thought to myself. I went to the comments.

I don't believe it. She wishes she was Beyoncé's daughter.

She probably leaked the story herself, she probably just looking for a check and 15 minutes of fame.

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

That ain't Beyoncé's daughter. She's just doing this for clout.

If she is Bey's child, clearly something must be wrong with her if Beyoncé didn't want anything to do with her. The Queen doesn't surround herself with Pea-

I heard the satisfying sound of my phone shattering as I threw it against the wall. I felt numb, broken, worthless. Z and Ry came in my room, "Mani, calm down, don't listen to those people, they don't know you or the truth so you can't let their words affect you," Ryan said. 

"But they're making me out to be the Villain, like I did this, like I'm trying to tarnish my mother's image or something. My mom is the one who left me, why am I catching all the heat?" I cried. All of a sudden, I felt the need to leave. I grabbed my keys and my wallet. "I need some air."

Z stepped in front of me, "Wait Mani, I don't think you should go anywhere in the state you're in, just calm down, everything will blow over in no time, before you know it everyone will forget and will be talking about something else." 

Something she said in particular stuck something in me. I looked at her, "You're right, I'm good, I'm good. I just need a moment to myself, clear my head. I'll be fine," I said as I passed her and quickly walked out the door before they could stop me. I ran to my car before someone spotted me and started my car. 

I was furious. Partly at myself, but mainly at Matthew. I knew the moment we took that picture that I had made a terrible mistake, but I tried to convince myself that maybe he was a good guy. Obviously not. This has his name written all over it. I hope he got what he wanted, because he about to get what's coming to him. Karma's a bitch. 

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove until I was on the freeway. 

"I don't think you should go anywhere in the state you're in."

Hmm, you're right Z, I thought to myself, I think I need to be as far away from here as possible. 

So I drove, trying to get as far away from California, and the pain from my newfound exposure, as I possibly could.