!!! this is the sequel to my book "addiction" do not read this if you have not read "addiction" !!!
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with billie away on tour, jessie has to learn to cope without billie constantly within her reach. will she fall into o...
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j e s s i e
i groaned lowly as i woke up, rolling over to look for my phone. i found it, turning it on to see that it was nearing four pm. i turned it off, yawning as i looked around the dorm. aiden didn't appear to be here right now.
it's been five weeks since billie called the break.
it's weird not talking to her. before the break, i always had an almost compulsive need to text her, to tell her about something, or just talk to her.
but now, not so much. sure, i still want to talk to her, but i don't need to. i could go without talking to her.
that's good, right?
"however long it takes you to stop being reliant and dependent on substances and on me," is what billie had said when i asked how long the break would be. not needing to talk to her shows that i'm not reliant on her, right?
i still don't believe that i'm dependent on weed; yeah, i get high a lot, but i'm not dependent on it. or at least, that's what i tell myself.
the fact that i had allowed myself to use, become addicted to, and become dependent on weed is embarrassing. especially after telling myself and others that i didn't like it and didn't fuck with it my whole life.
of course i realize i need to get better. i know that i need to stop.
but it's so much easier said than done.
it's an addiction and i don't know how to overcome it.
at least when i tried to overcome my addiction to nicotine, i had billie to help me. this time, i don't have billie to help me.
but i guess her being the reason i stopped and her being the only thing that helped me overcome the addiction, is what led me to being dependent on her.
i let out a sigh as i sat up, pulling my knees to my chest.
everybody's disappointed in me.
billie had said that she was. aiden didn't say it, but it was obvious that she was. i could tell by the way she looks at me every time i'm high.
at first, i had blamed aiden for me getting addicted to weed. she's the one who had offered it to me back in december. but it's not really her fault; she had told me to not get high again. i had no one to blame but myself for going and getting more.
