Alexander: *drinks some vodka*
Alexander, his accent thicc: That's smooth
Kid: *high pitched scream*
Alexander: *rushes over*
Alexander: Nicky, Sergei! What is the meaning of this ridiculous high pitched scream? I see no blood.
Rando bitch: Your stupid little reckless boys hit my angel Hunter in the face with a snowball
Hunter, who's kinda crying: Ahhh
Alexander: And your name is?
Rando bitch: Karen.
Alexander: Ah
Alexander, turning back to Sergei and Nicholas, his accent still present: Nicky, Sergei, you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to Hunter
Nicholas, his accent making it obvious as fuck he's Russian: Simple. Sergei and I had constructed snow bunkers on either side of the field...
Sergei, his accent also present: And we blew air horn as to warn other children that this was now hotspot and epic snow battle was about to commence...
Nicholas: In heat of snowball battle with Sergei and I, Hunter snuck past our barriers and simply got hit by crossfire
Alexander, to Sergei, Nicholas and Karen: Simple explanation. Your child is incompetent
Karen, to Alexander, Nicholas and Sergei: You little monsters! So you're just raising future criminals!?
Alexander: I think the only crime here is naming your son Hunter. Should be "Pylon" ...or "Sitting Duck"
Karen: You know what?!
Alexander: What are you gonna do Karen? There's no managers out here...
