Darling // h.s

chapter ➪ 10

magnolia

i awkwardly sat at the barstool on the counter while i waited for harry to finish the food he was making me.

i didn't know what he was making but i hope it was good.

"hey, i'm not really sure what hobbies you are entirely in to, but the TV has netflix and hulu, and there is a library down the hall," harry tells me.

"oh, i didn't know there was a library here."

"yea i guess i forgot to show you that hallway."

i glanced back over to the couch and saw lillie was no longer sitting there.

"do you know where lillie is," i ask harry.

"she went with niall somewhere."

i suspected lillie would do something like this. she's so reckless sometimes, she would be the one to get with the person who kidnapped her.

harry put a bowl in front of me.

i put the spoon up to my mouth and i'm guessing he gave me a chicken cesar salad.

"thank you," i say to him.

"yea, no problem," he says and slides a bowl across the counter to in front of the bar stool next to mine.

he walks around the counter and sits down by me.

"you know i mean no harm, right," he tells me.

"okay but how am i supposed to keep your word or trust you when you just kidnapped me," i snap at him.

"you have no right talking to me like that. you don't understand what i'm doing for you. i'm doing you a favor if anything."

i look at him with a cold look on my face and roughly slide the bowl across the counter so it will fall on the floor.

i get up from the chair storming out of the room and before i'm about to leave the room i feel a hand grab my wrist and turn me around.

"what the hell harry," i yell at him.

"no what the hell you, you have a lot of nerve testing me!"

"i thought you said you 'meant no harm.' what are you gonna do?"

"just go away before i do actually do something," he snaps at me.

i turn and walk away with the tears streaming down my face.

this reminded me too much of me and noah's relationship and it actually made me kind of scared.

the way harry stopped himself from getting angry at me was something noah would have never done. he would've just hit me and blamed everything on me.

i don't even know how our relationship lasted the length it did. i guess i was just scared to get out of it.

i locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the floor against the door.

i was feeling so many emotions right now and i couldn't even tell which one was most present.

i feel like i can't do this anymore.

i have no idea how long i'm gonna be here but all i know is i miss my mom.

i want to go home and i want to go work back at the bakery.

i didn't enjoy my home life very much but i'd rather be there than here.

i hear a light knock on the door.

"maggie," i hear lillie say.

i get up and quickly open it.

she walks in the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

she looks me in the eye and sees the tears streaming down my face.

"maggie," she says in a sad tone and then pulls me into a long hug.

"i'm so scared," i say as she is still hugging me.

"i know, we have to be strong though. we'll be alright," she says to me.

"come on, let's go to the library room," she says.

we walk down the stairs and harry is sitting on the living room couch.

"magnolia," he starts to say.

"fuck off harry," lillie says while we continue to walk and she flips him off.

harry rolls his eyes and flips her off back.

"wasn't talking to you," he says to lillie.

"fuck off harry," i say to him.

wow, that felt good to say.

we walk into the library and shut the door behind us.

"see that's what i mean to be tough," lillie says to me.

i look up to see tall shelves filled with books. it was nothing compared to the library in london though.

i begin searching through the books trying to decide on which one to read.

i decide on "Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut. I haven't read it before but i'm hoping it will be good.

i sit down in one of the armchairs and begin reading.

lillie is still looking around the books trying to find one to read.

i suddenly had to pee so i got up to go to the bathroom which was sadly past the living room, where harry just so happened to be. 

i walked out of the room and down the hallway. I saw harry sitting on the couch and he turned his head to look at me.

"magnolia, can we talk," he says to me.

"there is nothing to be talked about," i tell him as i continue walking.

i hear him get up from the couch and i basically sprint to the bathroom so he can't get ahold of me.

my body gets the best of me and i start hyperventilating. i look in the mirror and see little beads of sweat on my forehead.

my anxiety attacks haven't happened since i dated noah.

i felt like i couldn't form a sentence as i started to shake even more than i already was.

everything in my head was scrambled and i heard harry knock on the door gently.

"darling are you okay," he asks me.

i tried to speak but its almost like i couldn't.

i let out chocked sobs and slid down the door to the floor.

"hey what's wrong," he says to me from outside the door.

everything.
——
harry

one thing i'm actually half decent at is dealing with people when the we're having mental health problems.

i always helped my sister with her problems. i always beat myself up about how i didn't do enough when we lost her to suicide from depression.

i slid down the outside of the bathroom door, so i could be more on magnolias level.

"look, i know your probably angry at me, but tell me what's wrong," i softly say to her.

"nothing feels right or ok," she says in staggered breathes.

"can i tell you something," i ask her.

"yea," she whispers.

"when i was 17ish my mom was murdered," i begin to say and i hear her slightly gasp.

"she always wore this necklace with a amber stone on it. she always said it had this deep meaning behind it and it was meant to protect her and her family. clearly the part where it was supposed to protect her didn't work, but it has always protected me," i say softly.

i lift the necklace over my head and slide it under the door.

"it's beautiful harry," she says to me and slides it back under the door.

i slide it back to her side of the door, "keep it. i want you to feel safe here and i think this necklace can help with that."

"thank you," she breaths.