Songs that inspire me....and why they do.

Unpretty by TLC

Okay so by now most of you know i'm an insecure girl, who happens to be a hug addict/whore lol

butt if you didn't

i am very insecure.

and most of it is because of my mind.

 no one has ever called me ugly.

ever 

like EVER

and i can't even count how many times I've been called beautiful, or pretty, or stunning, or drop dead gorgeous. etc

you would think that i would think i'm pretty

but NOOOOOOOOO

i think i'm the ugliest person is the fucking WORLD

of course when someone tell me that they think they're ugly, my reply is "By who's standers?"

and i believe that. no one is ugly every one has beauty

ya know everyone except  uh.......

ME!?!?

like i hate thinking this way

and i think that is what drove me to making myself throw up. one of the things i want most is to think i'm pretty.

my mind is so fucked up

like i wonder why people choose to be my friend like

i have so much going on

and i'm broken

but as broken as i am, i love fixing other's who are broken

just knowing that i've helped someone makes me think that maybe i'm not worthless.

but i'm broken

and i've been through a lot of shit

but still people choose to be friends with me

like ya'll

why????

do you know how much ur gonna go through

how insecure i am??

like really?

why?

in my mind, i'm not worth all the trouble people go through just to make me realize .even if it's for a second, that i'm beautiful, or important or smart or that i'm not as worthless as i feel.

hahahahahahah

that's funny af

cause like ur wrong

but thanks for thinking so much of me.

anyway

this song helps me deal with all those negative thoughts i have.

i can't listen to it without crying. i mean it's literally like the two voices in my brain fighting

the one that tells me i'm absolutely worthless and don't deserve anything and that my friends secretly hate me and that i'm ugly.(the one i hear the most)

and the other one, that tells me that i'm loved and that my friends love me and that i'm pretty(i don't hear this voice a lot)

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I
To be in the position that make me feel
So damn unpretty

I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
Can't believe I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I
To be in the position that make me feel
So damn unpretty

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I
To be in the position that make me feel
So damn unpretty

And make you feel unpretty too
And make you feel unpretty
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I
To be in the position that make me feel
So damn unpretty
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
(Hahahaha)
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make, but if
You can't look inside you
Be in the position that make me feel so