Who Said Glasses Were Good (BxB 18+)

Ch.16 He Had Always Been With Me

It had been raining that day. Droplets pattering and tapping against black umbrellas. The water plastered locks of hair against Jason's face, soaked his black suits even darker. His small leather shoes squeaked against the mud. He glanced beside him, at Zach, silent.

Tears or is that rain? Jason couldn't really tell from Zach's tiny figure, or his eyes which were always red these days. 

Zach clutched a bouquet of hyacinthus so tight Jason was afraid he might crush them. Mrs. Pearson always kept some in the living room. 

Jason really liked Mrs. Pearson. She would always welcome Jason whenever he came over to their house and offered him cookies that he wasn't allowed to eat at home. 

Well, some rules are meant to be broken, she had said then with a playful smile. 

But now she was gone. Forever. Jason pressed a hand against his throbbing heart and can only imagine what it felt to Zach.

Zach is only 10. He needs a mother figure. Such were the murmurs of the adults. Despite the rain, Jason heard every word clearly. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Finally, Zach's father laid the flowers against the tombstone. His son followed. In his haste, he slipped from the wet grass. Jason caught him before Zach soiled his suit. 

"Thanks," Zach said, "I'm fine." 

But Jason could see how white his knuckles were, how they trembled.

As Zach leans the bouquet against the grave, Jason sets a hand on top of his. "We'll get through this together," he whispered.
-
Jason had caught Zach outside on the balcony, leaning against the steel railing, staring up. Light spilled from the room, where the party was hosted. Zach's father's wedding party.

An autumn evening breeze blew, ruffling the tie that hung around Zach's shoulders and stray locks of hair. Jason knew Zach never liked parties. But this one especially.

"What are you looking at?" Jason asked, walking up to him. 

"Nothing really," Zach muttered. 

The railing creaked as Jason leaned against it. "You sure?"

Zach shrugged in response.

But there was something to see. The stars dotted a dark dark sky, blinking, watching. 

Jason sighed. "How are you feeling?" 

"I don't know," Zach responded truthfully. "Of course I want father to be happy but...this feels so much like a betrayal." Zach turned to face Jason. "Am I wrong for thinking that?"

Jason smiled. "Of course not."

"But..."

"There is no 'but'." Jason bumped a fist against Zach's shoulder. "Your feelings are valid, don't fret about it."

Zach didn't respond, and they fell into a silence. Not an uncomfortable one though. They could hear the crickets chirping and leaves rustling from the wind.

After a while,  Zach turned towards Jason again, as if he wanted to say something, but decided against it. 

Jason didn't press him, but now he wonders, if he just asked that day, would Zach have told him? Would he have been able to help whatever was on Zach's mind?

-

Today, it is Jason's turn. He pushes through iron gates into a clear field. He takes a deep breath, walking down the path, listening to grass crunching beneath the soles of his shoes until he reaches her grave. 

"Hi, Mrs. Pearson. It's me, Jason." He sets down his bouquet of hyacinths. "Zach, well, he seems to be doing well. At least better than a few weeks ago." 

Jason sits down in front of the grave. "But he's hiding something from me, and I don't know what it is. And I'm scared that if I don't know what it is, I might start losing him. I thought I was the person he could trust. I thought that if he ever had anything he needed, he could come to me.

"I want to help him. I want to be there for him if anything ever happens. What can I do?" 

But Jason knows what Mrs. Pearson would do. 

Jason stands up, brushing the dirt from his pants. 

Zach, who always keeps his issues inside.

Zach, who never turned bitter or hateful against fate. 

Zach, who kept beside him.

Zach, who promised him. 

He's going to ask, confront Zach, no matter how much it scares him, because the only thing worse would be losing Zach forever.