dear soulmate | bang chan

19

Day 1

Dear Jae,

Today's the day. I have it all planned out now.

I'll take you up to the rooftop today and show you the star I wished on every night to meet you. I'll confess and beg your forgiveness for keeping this secret for far too long.

Hopefully you'll forgive me.

And i'll give you this letter to say what I already know I won't be able to.

I love you.

Not just an elementary type of love that's finite and fickle. It's the type of love that I hope you feel for me, but that i've always felt for you.

If I were to make up my dream girl, the person who would be absolutely perfect in every way I think, she wouldn't even compare to you.

You're the reason why my days are brighter, why the sun still shines during this snowstorm, how I get through all the boy's jokes about us, and who I hope to be with for the rest of my life.

My dearest Jae, it's an honor to be your soulmate.

Love, Bang Christopher Chan

"Good morning boys!" Jackson's boisterous voice echoes through the oddly quiet Stray Kids dorm.

Chan drops his pen and quickly shoved the letter he was writing into a random drawer.

"Close but not quite." Jae laughs walking out of the bathroom, the first one ready for the day.

"Do you guys make copies of our key?" Chan asks walking out of the bedroom. "How do you keep getting in?" he asks looking at the 7 members who were sitting in the kitchen eating their food.

"Don't worry about it." Bambam waves him off.

"I'd be worried if I were you." Jaebeom jokes as Chan takes a seat next to Jinyoung.

"Why are you guys here though? Did something happen?" Jae asks joining them in the kitchen.

"No, just wanted to take you out for the day." Mark assures her patting the top of her head. "We all need to buy you last minutes Christmas gift, but half of them don't know what to get so you're coming with us."

"I told you guys no gifts." Jae pouts. "Buying me a first class round trip flight was plenty."

"You're gonna tell you us didn't buy us gifts already that are perfectly tucked away in your suitcase?" Jackson asks already knowing the answer.

"Why do you have to ruin my surprise like that?" she sticks her tongue out.

She's had the gifts ready for months now and brought them over from the US. 8 matching hoodies for her and Got7 with small embroidering on the cuffs of the sleeve that have their names on it with a small patch over the chest. Another gift was hidden carefully in her backpack, but they didn't need to know about that.

"What about you? What do you want for Christmas Chris?" Jae asks Chan who's leaning against the doorframe.

"Nothing really, just hoping for a good day today. I know it's still a couple days until Christmas, but that's my Christmas wish."

"You should come with us, I doubt you'll be able to find that online." Jae tries to make the boy with a serious look on his face laugh even just a little.

It works, and soon the group of 9 were out. From small shops that sold stationary and dainty jewelry, to luxury shops that the boys dragged Jae into to try and spoil the unwilling girl.

Throughout it all Chan couldn't help but keep on eye on the items Jae was interested in, trying to find the perfect gift for her.

He didn't see anything that would be enough for her, I mean it's his soulmate. How is he supposed to find the perfect gift, he was stumped.

After going to 3 different cities and spending way too much money, the group ended up having dinner in a secluded restaurant surrounded by smaller shops across a park.

"Do you think the lake is completely frozen?" Jae asks staring out of the window of the restaurant. The lake glistened from the light reflecting off of its surface.

"It's got to be, it's freezing out." Youngjae nods his head as they all look out the window.

"I'm gonna go over to look at it, anyone wanna come with?" she stands up from her seat.

"I will." Chan responds automatically.

It took everything in Got7 to not laugh, gag, or immediately react to him.

Jae smiled and grabbed Chan's hand as the two made their way to the lake. There was still a bit of sun out, but all the street lights were on already. In the distance the twinkle of the cities buildings could be seen.

Jae stops near the edge of the lake and raised her head feeling snowflakes land on her face with a refreshing coldness.

"I'm gonna miss this when i'm in California." she admits.

"You could always stay here." Chan suggests. "Winter in Korea is impossible to find anywhere else." he chuckles copying her looking up to the now more visible moon.

The two stand in silence as the snow around them flurries through the wind.

She looks over to him and for a second they make eye contact.

"My heart and my brain are telling me two different things." she sighs. "Korea or California?" she asks aloud to the universe.

Maybe it was the fact that she'll miss the snow, or maybe it's for the reason he knew deep down, but the pain in her eyes was clear.

She looked exhausted, and it was all Chan's fault. Even behind her smile as she raised her head again, she was hurting inside.

Keeping his secret has been hurting her just as much if not more than it's been hurting him. How could he make the girl who he's supposed to love most, hurt like that? He had to say it then, she shouldn't have to go though another second of feeling like that.

"Korea." Chan's voice threatens to give out.

Can he really admit it? Is now the right time? Will he know if there ever is a right time?

Now or never.

"Jae I'm," he tries to continue. "You see, i'm your." he pauses once more the words not being able to form properly.

He can't believe himself right now. Why can't he just say it? He lets go of her hand and runs his hands through his hair in frustration, before pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jae takes his free hand again as the two stand side to side and she finally looks over to him. With a small encouraging smile, the words leave her lips with ease.

"You're my soulmate."

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