Do you ever have a moment where, life makes sense and yet, it doesn't make the sense?
And no matter how much you want to accept something, you just can't?
Because that kind of thing just doesn't fit how your life has been?
I didn't have a functional family, and so with everything I had, I wished for the day that I would have that.
And then one day, I got knocked over by a 3, almost 4 year old, and suddenly I had maybe not the dream job, but the dream guy, and family.
Except for, the widower part, and the fact that he was so out of my league, and I was the help.
So no matter how much I wanted or dreamt, I knew that I needed to keep my distance, emotionally speaking, and do my part as his employee to take care of his girls.
Because dancing in the kitchen that night... that was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but in my mind, I knew it wasn't the life meant for me. It couldn't be the life for me.
So, I stopped with the three in the morning knock on the door because I couldn't sleep; and kept my distance. And I decided to continue to.
April and May faded away, and June was impatiently waited for by the 4 year old who just wanted a night picnic outside for dinner.
The night was decided, and Gracie happily helped make a menu for the dinner. Everyone was on board and it was going to be "the best night of my life," according to Gracie.
The morning of, as I was getting ready, a knock sounded at my bedroom door. Crossing from the bathroom, I opened the door to reveal Nathan, dressed in a 3 piece gray suit, which was a piece more than he usually wore.
"Good morning," I said, smiling, "You are very dapper this morning."
"I look like I'm headed to film a really old movie, " he answered adjusting his tie, "but thanks."
"So meeting then? Not an open call audition call for Hello Dolly?"
"Meeting," he laughed, "Which is why I knocked. We have the chance to lift a start up off the ground, and we're competing with 2 other companies, but if we can get them, it's going to be huge."
"So..."
"So, I don't know what time I'll be home, this could go for a long time. Do the picnic though and we'll do another one again so I can make it up to her."
"Okay," I nodded. "Do you want me to tell her, or.."
"No, no I'll tell her, I just wanted for you to be informed, and I'll keep you posted throughout."
"Okay," I smiled, "Then I guess the only thing then is good luck."
"Thanks."
He walked away to go wake up his daughter. Meanwhile I headed back to the bathroom, I chuckled at the newfound urge to watch old musicals.
*******
"That was so much fun!" Gracie smiled, laying back on the blanket, watching the sky change colors as the sun went down.
"It sure was."
"I wish daddy could've been here."
"I know," I said, checking my phone for the fifth time.
The last I had heard was the meeting was going well, but that was an hour and a half ago.
As the sky darkened and the stars started to dot the sky, we began cleaning up the remains of our picnic, and taking it inside, I felt my phone buzz. Shifting Abby in my arms, I pulled it out and checked the new message from Nathan.
We got the deal. Out with Greg and few others to celebrate. Should be home in an hour.
I smiled and returned the phone to my pocket. "Okay, Grace," I sighed, moving Abby again to rest on my shoulder as she dozed off, "Let's get ready for bed little miss."
She nodded, rubbing her eyes, a sleepy smile on her face. "I like that idea."
We walked upstairs first stopping at Abby's room to change her diaper and slip her pajamas on and put her to bed.
Gracie was mostly silent as I helped her brush her teeth and get her pajamas on. Tucking her in, I checked her nightlight and kissed her forehead.
"Goodnight sweet girl," I whispered, moving to stand.
"Ellie," she said grabbing my wrist.
"Yes?"
"Did my daddy make you sad?"
Puzzled, I asked, "what do you mean?"
She sighed, rubbing her eyes again. "I don'ts know. He and you just seem sad, like maybe he hurt your feelings and he fees bad. I know I feel sad when I make someone sad."
"What makes you think he did it?"
"Did you do it?"
I sat back on my heels, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know, maybe I did."
"Was it on purpose?"
She was sitting up now, her hand having left my wrist. I watched her eyes for a minute, For a little girl of four, she had seen a lot in those four years, and faced a great deal too.
I sighed thinking about my answer. "If anything I hurt your dad's feelings on accident."
She nodded, and we sat again in silence for a moment.
"Do you likes him? Like Princess Mia and Nick-oh-las like him?"
I smiled at that letting out a soft laugh, both at the question, and the proud look on her face of finally pronouncing his name. "And if I did?"
"I'd be okay with that."
I smiled. "Good to know."
She settled back down, pulling her blanket up under her chin. "Goodnight Ellie."
"Goodnight Gracie."
I pulled her door shut, slightly lost in thought at her questions. Shaking my head, I headed to my room to get ready for bed, and decided to wait up to talk to him. Gracie had seen something I hadn't, and it was something I knew I needed to fix.
I grabbed my Jane Austen collection from off my bedside table, before heading downstairs to the living room. Settling down in a chair, I opened my book and began to read.
******
I woke up at the sound of the garage door opening and closing, the sound of slow steps, coming down the hallway.
Wiping my eyes, I looked at the time on my phone: 11:03.
Standing up, I went to meet him the hallway ready to tease him about the nearly 4 hour difference his arrival was compared to the text I had received.
"Hey, you know-"
I stopped, covering my mouth to stifle the horrified gasp that left my mouth.
Standing in the middle of the hallway was Nathan, his hair mussed and slightly curly as if it had been wet. But that was nothing compared to the rest.
The 3 small cuts on his face, the the ugly stains of crimson on his red shirt, the bruises on his knuckles, and the smalls nicks on his forearms.
"Oh my..."
My sentence died in my throat, the train of thought I had, derailed.
He smiled slightly before wincing. "Sorry I'm late."
I fought the lump in my throat, and blinked back the tears stinging my eyes as I stepped forward slowly and took his briefcase and suit jacket out of his hand, and setting them on the floor. I didn't dare look him in the eye, knowing full well that those tears would spill given the chance.
Wrapping an arm gently around his waist, we slowly walked upstairs and into his room, and heading for the bathroom. I helped him sit on the side of the bathtub, absentmindedly wiping my hand on my shirt, realizing a moment later that I now had a few blood streaks on my shirt.
I moved to the medicine cabinet, pulling out the supplies I would need to help clean him up.
Wordlessly, I set everything on the counter, before picking up the pair of scissors, and gingerly cutting his shirt off of his body.
"That was my favorite shirt."
"I'll buy you another," I said gently pulling it off of him and tossing it behind him.
I quickly made an assessment, scanning the cuts on his chest and abdomen. "Do you have any on your back?"
He shook his head. I nodded, running my hand through his hair, checking for cuts, or bumps on his head. Finding nothing I started to clean the cuts on his face, a dark feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Were you mugged?" I asked finally, dabbing at the cut on his temple.
He shook his head. "No this happened while at the bar."
I nodded again, continuing to take clean his cut, before adding the tiniest bit of antibacterial ointment before moving on to the on his cheek.
He grasped my wrist for a moment, causing me to stop. "Can you look at me for a minute?"
"I am looking at you."
"Ellie," he sighed, gently tilting my chin ever so slightly so I looked at his eyes. "It's not that bad."
"Your definition and my definition of 'not that bad' are very different."
He let go of my wrist, allowing me to continue, following the same pattern that I did on his temple, before moving on to the one on his jawline. If I knew anything, this would be the one to scar.
"So what did happen?"
He sighed again, tilting his face and squeezing his eyes closed and wincing as I started on the one on his jaw.
"I had every intention of being home earlier, I did, but we were celebrating and the hour got away from us, and then I stayed to take care of the bill.
"As I was finishing up, a man walked in, kind of lumbering, like he had already had enough to drink, and there was something so familiar about him, that I couldn't place.
"He sat at the bar, offered to buy me a beer, and I accepted, and he started talking; about his problems, and his kids, how we both have 2 girls.
"And then he looked at me, like really looked at me and his eyes looked just like yours: hazel with a flash of green."
I stopped moving, looking at the cuts on his face, the ones across his chest and abdomen.My other hand subconsciously feeling the scar across my own cheek. Everything felt familiar because it was familiar.
For every cut he had, I had a scar in the same place.
He watched me for a moment, before asking his question. "Elle, why didn't you tell me your dad was alive?"
YOU ARE READING
The Billionaire's Nanny
RomanceI was looking for an adventure. I wanted to leave the dismal place I called Life. And he gave that to me. The position to watch the sweet girls he called daughters. And to heal my heart. (WARNING: Some scenes include language and sexual content. Not...