The Girl In The Dirty Shirt Liam Version

Chapter 105

The week carried on pretty much the same as that first day in New York, I tried to get Liam to talk to me about anything and he just ignored me or treated it all like a joke.

In Danbury we tried talking...again and again it turned into a screaming match. The bus ride to Boston was quiet, Liam and I weren't speaking Noel and I didn't exist to each other; and the rest of the band didn't want to stir anything up so they kept to themselves.

We were in Pittsburgh a couple of nights later and Liam and I were sitting in the bar after the gig and he was trying to make light of yet another argument.

"It isnt fucking funny, Liam! You do drink too damn much when you're on the road."

Shut up", he muttered, exasperated in the way only husbands could be.

"No I fucking won't shut up! You had how many beers last night? Fifteen? Then you come back to the room piss drunk and expect me to suck your cock and call you daddy?"

I raised my voice with every word, not minding the scene we were creating. Some things never change.

The truth was, when he came home drunk, he would usually just pass out on the bed alone with his hand in his pants, but when we fight, I try my best to say whatever I think will hurt his feelings the most.

"I mean, look at you! You're drunk now!"

I'm on tour!"

“You're fucking drunk!"

"I'm on fucking tour!"

"Yeah, we'll see whose side the therapist is on tomorrow. Goodnight, Liam."

I turned to leave. I was too tired to keep abusing him tonight.

"So what?" He snapped "You're gonna scream at me an' then piss off?!"

"Well, I'm not staying here!"

"Communication is key, Delyla"

I turned and glared at him "And you're a drunken prick who won't remember any of this tomorrow so it doesn't matter"

"I'm on fucking tour!" he yelled again

"And you know how much I fucking care that you're on tour?!" I screamed "ABOUT THIS FUCKING MUCH!"

I whipped the door open and slammed it closed behind me; Guigs was coming up the hallway towards the room, he smiled when he saw me.

"Hiya babe"

I glared at him walking by "Get bent"

I got about two and a half steps before I felt his hand on my shoulder.

I stopped and turned to face him; he was looking back at me with a pout.

"What'd I ever do t'you?"

I sighed shaking my head "Just forget it, you're as drunk as he is"

I went to walk away and Guigs squeezed my arm tighter. "I ain't drunk at all, talk t'me"

I sighed "Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you"

"It's not your problem, don't worry about it"

"Y'hate when he drinks, aye?"

"No," I shook my head "I hate how much he drinks on the road; we're supposed to be working on our marriage and it's like he just doesn't give a fuck"

I sighed again and pushed my bangs off my face. He asked me what was wrong and now I was unloading a month and a half worth of anger on him.

"He treats it all like a joke or a game or something"

"I'm sure he-"

"No!" I yelled already knowing what he was going to say "He doesn't care; if he fucking cared and wanted to make this work he would have stayed in Manchester with me!"

I took a breath and continued

"He wouldn't have fucked off to New York; he expects me to be at home waiting for him barefoot and pregnant with dinner on the fucking table while he's jet-setting around the fucking world!"

"Hey," Guigs said quietly taking my face in his hands "I'm sure he just wants dinner on the table"

I glared at him and pulled away from him "Fuck off"

He laughed a little pulling me back "Ly, I'm only kiddin' c'mon"

"Seems to be all this fucking band does" I muttered

He took my face in his hands a second time and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Everything will be okay" he said quietly

My eyes met his before I closed them with another sigh.

I flinched when I felt his lips press gently against mine.

We pulled apart and I just looked at him; I hated feeling like this, I hated looking weak and vulnerable.

"Everything will be okay" he said again. "An' I'll be here anytime y'need-"

"Don't," I shook my head, this was starting to feel exactly like when Noel and I had first met; he made all these promises to be there for me and look out for me and now we were dead to each other.

"Don't tell me you'll be there for me, don't promise me the world Guigs, I don't want-"

"Will you quit cuttin' me off?" He asked with a smile "I ain't gonna promise you the world, I'm just sayin', if you want to talk or summat, I'm a phone call away"

"I know" I whispered hugging him tightly "I'm just going to go back home and wait for Liam to get back"

Guigs kissed my cheek and nodded "I'll see you soon yeah?"

I shrugged "Depends on how things pan out; if Liam doesn't want our marriage to work, I'm not wasting my time"