365 days Apart (l.s)

Harry's back DAY 1

Thursday, February 1 (self harm, sorta eating disorder) 

6am: I didn't get any sleep, just tossing and turning, but finally decided to get up at 6:30 in the morning.  I got up to take a shower, 1 hour long, just siting there and then finally 45 minutes in I started to actually clean myself up. 

7:45: I got changed sweats and a hoodie, Harry's hoodie. It's a lovely hoodie, grey, word that are outlined with red; it says THE FACE, it's adorable. I sit on the couch, thinking about how bad I want to see Harry, my light, my love, my everything. Starting to tear up just thinking about it, I start crying, I can't stop i go to the bathroom, find the razor, and just cut and cut and cut 8am and I'm already doing this. Blood dripping from my wrists all over the floor, the sink, the toilet. Everywhere. Then I here the front door open, oh god oh no i'm screwed dammit. 

Louis i'm home! I can here him on the other side of the door. "Louis? Louis why is the door locked? Louis open the door? LOUIS OPEN THE DOOR NOW!" He can hear me crying. I'm sitting in the shower, head in my knee's crying. He's begging me to open the door. I get up and unlock the door he swings it open. I collapse in his arms still blood dripping onto his shirt he's holding my head to his chest, tears streaming down my face like a river, he's petting my head shushing me calming me down. Once i'm only hiccuping he asks if i'm okay now. I say that i'm better now that he's here through every word i keep hiccuping trying to catch my breath. "Get up love lets clean you up." "I'm sorry Harry. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry I got blood on your hoodie."  It's okay Lou, I promise. You're okay, It's perfectly fine. I love you forever, I'll always love you. I married you for a reason. I LOVE YOU LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON! I chuckle. I love you too Harry. At this point we've gotten my cleaned up with bandages.

10am: "Louis you have to eat when I leave on February 14, I need to know that you're gonna be okay and I need to know that you're going to eat and that you're going to stop cutting and that you're going to wake up every morning. Louis I need to know i can leave here and know that everything will be fine" Tears. I try to stop them, looking up at the ceiling. Harry cups my face in his hands and he kisses me, I kiss back. We start making out. I push him away laughing Harry I need to eat. Smiling back he starts making pizza, homemade pizza. "Louis, you are my heart." 

***

Today was a tiring day, Harry and I just cuddled that night he made me breakfast lunch and dinner. By 10 we had gotten ready for bed a slept. "I love you goodnight Harry." "I love you too Louis"

(i got lazy at the end as you could tell, also you can tell i'm american.. um i have school tomorrow so probably wont update lol, i'm tired, criminal minds is a good show btw, um might update saturday yeah okay bye i guess lol)