Viscious

Sorry.

The scent of warm blackberry pancakes wafts through the kitchen. The blinds are open and windows slightly cracked to allow the breeze and fresh air to enter the room. Kellan sits across the table from me in his sleep shorts, his chest bare as he stretches and takes in the scent of the pancakes. He picked these berries himself, and froze them for winter he claimed. I fixed our food this morning, he sat far back guarding the door where he would be out of range of pans or hot liquids. I've already killed two people, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he'd be leery of me scalding him with a pancake or beating him with a hot pan.

We enjoy our meal and Kellan slathers his pancakes with butter and a dollop of cream cheese mixed with his syrup. He begs for seconds, and luckily I had fixed a large enough stack that I could bring him more without having to mix a new batch. He eats and watches me with adoring eyes, complimenting each bite. I force a smile for him, but I'm still slightly numb. After all of the whining and guilt, it's like I became numb. I know this is often how the mind protects itself.

He saves several for mom, as we clean up the majority of our mess. I long to see her, but I am afraid of pressing my luck. He acted so guilty and awkward when I asked about her earlier, then the guilt became annoyance, and I knew to let off. I just want to know why that after seeing get for two days, I am no longer allowed? I long to sneak off, to her door to listen for her.

"What are you thinking about?" He inquires, placing mom's pancakes on a plate.

"You forgot her fork and syrup. You'd get mad if I told you..." His head tilts.

"Why?" I gulp.

"Because it's about mom, and you seem annoyed when I bring her up..." He sighs.

"It's annoying, but I understand. I was the same way about my mom." This lucks my interest, as he gives very little information about his mom.

"May I ask about your mom?" I ask softly, as I am dealing with a shifty man.

"You may. I suppose you would figure it out at some point in the future anyways. My mom is no longer with us. We were close though. She was always on my side. Dad was my idol, he was big and strong. Powerful and successful. He did whatever he wished, but his success can all be linked to my mother. She was my protector, and his. She would never turn on him and she covered his tracks, all mostly to keep me safe. One day, he decided he wanted another woman and he killed her. I watched her die, but I couldn't stop it. I wasn't big enough to contend with my father, yet. I avenged her when I turned seventeen, by killing my father and her replacement. Her death stunted my growth, it destroyed me. This is why I need to distance you from your mom. Things might get to a point here, where I might have to protect you from her. Or even kill you both if I'm caught. I don't want you to have to see her death. I have been there."

"I-I'm sorry. That must have been so traumatic, and at such a young age. Can I talk to her through the door at least?"

"Are you ignorant, Alina? No is a complete sentence."

"Only when you use it. When I tell you no, that I can't kill someone with something outrageous it's never respected." My head reels from the slap. I stare at him stunned. I do not know how to respond, so I clutch my cheek.

"Do you really want to see her?" He drags me down the hall, dropping the breakfast plate in his haste. It hurts me to see my mom's food spoiled in broken glass on the wood floor.

"Your hurting me. Stop!" I screech as I hang onto his arms trying to release his hold in my hair. I lash out without thinking, and I strike the back of his knee with my leg which takes his balance. He stumbles but retains his hold on me.