Viscious

Ultimatum.

          Inside the livingroom is stiff and silent for a moment. Dallas and my dad take the sofa across from Kellan and I. Kellan leans back into the seat, jaw raised in a slight display of arrogance as he displays boredom at the sight of Dallas. Dallas on the other hand seems intimidated and flustered, as he looks to the larger man at my side. Dad seems utterly uncomfortable and confused. And me? Well, I might as well not exist at this point. I am lost among the cold war taking place before us. Shots are fired and battles are being fought right now that nobody can see or hear. Kellan's calloused hand finds my inner thigh and I cringe under the touch. Dallas looks away and Kellan sits forward in his seat, smug.

          "Alina." Dad breaks the silence. I turn my attention towards him to avoid the other two sets of eyes. "Hsve you heard from your mother?" I'm unsure how to safely answer, and it's hard to lie under my father's strict and all knowing gaze. He has always been able to break me with just one disappointed look. I quickly reply with a half truth.

         "Not in a little while."

         "I see..." He runs a hand across his face and rests his elbows on his knees. A gesture he typically dies when he delivers bad news. I have a hunch what he is here to say. "The reason I ask is because your mother had been battling depression and she-she lost that battle."

          My face falls. Knowing she is dead, seeing her dead is one thing. Hearing it out loud is another. My mind had formed some sort of barrier to protect itself, and these words have ripped it off like a bandaid. The haze of my own deluded state can't krotect me from the truth. My hands tremble, and I  tuck them under the backs of my legs to try to keep them still. I tilt my head up to look at the ceiling, unable to hold eye contact with anyone right now. I focus on breathing, on nicer thoughts, but it doesn't work as the rest of me begins to quiver too.

           "You're okay. You're going to be okay." Kellan whispers into my ear as he berries his face into my neck and pulls me into his side. His hold is tight. Threateningly tight.

           "When did this happen?" I manage. I dab my eyes with my shirt as water begins to flow against my will.

           "If you'd answer your damn phone, you'd know." His voice is harsh and cynical. Even Dallas is stunned.

           "She didn't know. Phones die. I know you are grieving your ex wife, but is it really fair to take it out on your daughter?" Dallas reasons.

           "I brought you with me to confront her. Don't get soft on me now. You've noticed her change in behavior too."

           "Yes, but we can do that without bullying her."

           "Could've asked for divorce without having cheated too, but we all have our own ways." Dad snaps. Kellan tenses beside me.

           "Could've delivered your bad news in a respectful manner while inside another man's home too. You speak to Alina with respect, or you can hit the door. She is grieving too. She doesn't need your virtue signaling nonsense."

           "Virtue signaling? I was married to that woman for years. We had a child together."

            "Then you cheated and moved on with your new wife. And now you stand in my home insulting said child. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Dallas has a point. You can say what you need to without mistreating her." Dallas nods in agreement, to my surprise.

             "Well then, let's get to it. You don't answer for your family. You have bandages on your wrist. Weight loss. You look shitty at best." He huffs. "You asked for divorce from Dallas and didn't even let the bed go cold before you went and moved in with this asshole. You even contacted him through texts in weird jumbled sentences, likely intoxicated. You still remain jobless. Obviously, what we are seeing here us a drug problem. I will not tolerate this or deal with it. Either you go to rehab, or never speak to me again. The choice is yours." I am floored. This is it? I am suffering here, and this is what he thinks? My heartbreak and guilt over mom, and my hurt at dad's betrayal quickly become rage.