amortentia [d.m]

chapter. 26

*** Freyja's pov

"Frey, hey!" Pansy stands up from the leather sofa as we enter the common room. She's concerned.
I go up to her and give her a tight hug. "Before you ask, I'm fine. I promise."
She pulls back. "Good, if not I would have murdered Malfoy."
I laugh, trying to conceal my real feelings. She doesn't catch on to my lie.

Whilst Pansy and me are chatting, Draco just stands next too me. Completely quite. He's a horrible liar.

"Frey." Draco tugs at my arm. He's eyes a still glossy and red, still look broken.
I nod, and give Pansy an apologetic smile.
She hugs me once again, a little tighter this time.

My body aches, my heart aches. She'll think I'm a monster. Not to mention Ambar and Lilith. Pansy would be more understanding, but Ambar and Lilith, they would never talk to me again. To be hones,t I would probably not want to talk to someone that had killed another person.

Draco holds my hand all the way up to my dorm. I agreed to stay with him, but I have to get clothes and other stuff first. He understands.
I open the door, hoping that Ambar and Lilith are not there. The door creaks open, and no one is there. Not a single soul.

"Draco, would you mind finding some clothes for me. Since you have amazing taste."
He nods. I understand, he's torn. He can at least try to act normal.
I get my stuff together in a small bag. He brings me some clothes. I notice he has picked mostly black clothing.
Very fitting.

"Draco, try. Please." I take his hands and look him in the eyes.
"Ok." He smiles. Not with his eyes, only with his mouth.
"I'll teach you. Ok?" If he knew everything I am hiding, he would be in utter shock.
"How do you know how to act?" He sits down on my bed.
"I'm a girl, I'm good at pretending." I smile.
"But-but I don't get it. How?"
"I said I'll teach you, ok? You have to get some rest." I sit down beside him.
"Yeah." He takes my hand.
J lay my head on his shoulder. "Yeah.

We decide to stay in my dorm till the morning. He undresses and I do the same. The room is cold, even freezing. The curtains are slightly open, so the moon light shines in on us. Draco's body is also cold, he lays still with his arm over my torso. My fingers are tangled up in his hair, it helps him sleep.
And so he does, he's completely exhausted. Falling asleep first is something he rarely does.

And now I am laying here, with the person I agreed to help murder someone. I'm wide awake and my mind goes wild;

I wonder why the girls aren't back.

I wonder if I made the right decision.

Why would I agree?

Is my life ruined?
Yes, and it was been since I was born. From my fist breath of air till now, I have always been, and always will be, doomed.

Who was worse Lucius or my grandad?
I can't decide. My grandad, Magnar, killed my mother. He killed her. And I am baring the same curse as my mother.

The curse is complex, it has many layers;
I cannot bare children, if I do, they will continue the curse.
When I die, my body will turn to ash.
I cannot be healed from certain curses and hexes.
I cannot leave a mark on the muggle world.
I cannot speak of my sister.

And the worst thing;

I cannot love, not truly. Not without amortentia.