amortentia [d.m]

chapter. 27

authors note: wtf!! almost 5k reads!?! you are all amazing! i love reading your comments, so keep them coming! hope you have a fantastic day or night!
xx, S

*** Freyja's pov

The next week goes by fairly normal. We're back in lessons. He's still acting a little weird, the others just asume it is from Lucius passing. I'm back to normal, not real normal, but 'normal'.

Pansy has asked me multiple times if I'm fine. I think she's catching on. She's the only person tho. Ambar and Lilith are to busy with themselves, which I think is fine. I have Pansy and Draco, well not really Draco.

He feels bad. Like really bad.

He won't even talk to me. He's not just mad at himself, but also at me for agreeing. I don not think it's fair. My choice was stupid, I know that, but it was my choice nonetheless. I make my own choices. He has to understand that.

I'll figure it out, it going to be fine. We're going to be fine, and not in azkaban. I cannot go to azkaban, it will just prove the Gryffindors right. I can't have that. I also want to be free, want to live. Get away from Hogwarts, away from Snape.

He's not the father of the year, but he's trying. Our relationship has always been bad. He was the reason for my mother's death. The reason my grandad hates me, my sister and my mother. Yes, the sister I am to never speak of. Both of them dead, my mother and sister.

No else know about my curse, of course. It is a secret. But, maybe Draco will know, not now, but soon.

I'm so scared. So scared for everything that can and will happen. I'm scared for my life, for my sanity. I will go mad, just like Draco's auntie, Bellatrix Lestrange.

*** Draco's pov

Coping is something I am really bad at, especially with something this big, this horrible. I feel like the most cruel person alive. How could I bring the person I love most into this? How?
If anything happens to Freyja, will I never forgive myself. Never.

She keeps nagging me to stay calm, stay collected. How does she know how to act? She is normal, doesn't have a fucked up family, or a dad who gives her a curse, a vow. How can she tell me to be calm? How?! It isn't possible.

She can't just involve herself in my burden, can't just invite herself to help. 'You would do the same for me, I love you' Bullshit. She's just trying to justify ruining her own life, like she always does. Always making mistakes for 'love'.

Bullshit. Love is bullshit.

I don't get it, if she really loved me she would let me do it alone and not ruin herself. We will either die or end up in azkaban. Like auntie Bellatrix.

Auntie Bella got tangled up with You-Know-Who and got sent there. Now I'm doing the same thing.

And Freyja doesn't know either.

Since I refused to get the death-mark, I had to finish Lucius' vow. Like a favor.

I don't want to bad. I want to be tough, respected, but not evil. I do not want to kill. Ever. The vow is impossible. I don't even know who has the amulet.