Final Fantasy VII: Reflections - Book 1: Descent

THIRTY

I'm in the dark again, still in this weird in-between that I can't wake up from. I remember the journey through the sewers, another time I was badly hurt. But although I pulled through back then, I might not be quite so lucky this time. Cloud's words helped a little, wherever it was that they came from, but I can feel my body starting to give way, drawn inevitably toward that deeper blackness that I won't be able to return from. It's only a matter of time. The end's... getting closer.

After I passed out in Barret's arms, I slept peacefully. I never came to this place back then. But I'm in here now, and that means I'm hurt worse than I was in the sewers. A lot worse. I wish I could remember, but from the time Barret and I separated high in the pillar and I stared down that Shinra chopper, it's still fuzzy. The trauma of whatever happened must've blocked out my memory of everything after that.

As the cold starts to seep in around me, I hear another voice. Barret, his gruff rumble comforting and strong. I never meant to keep him in the dark about my past with Shinra, I just never knew how to tell him. It felt like he was starting to understand by the time we separated, though. I'm glad for that. He's a good friend, and I owe him far more than he knows. Like Cloud's was before, his voice is all around me.

"You holdin' up okay?" he says. "I know your body wants to give out on ya, but you gotta stay strong now. This ain't gonna be your last dance, I can promise ya that. So hang on an' keep fightin'."

I cling to his words as if they were a lifeline, and I think they were. It eases the chill a little. I still can't leave this place, but I feel like I can hold out a bit longer. I want to. I have to. I know it won't go on forever. Sooner or later, it'll end, one way or another. Life or death. For a while, I hover a bit more, my mind either not ready or not able to go back into the stream of memories. And then there's another voice.

It's Tifa. I can hear how worried she is. "Be strong, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. Stay with us, Jessie. Stay alive."

She's always been there for me. Got me through the sewers and back home when I was hurt, and she hardly ever left my side after that during my recovery. Our mission and dangerous journey together brought us so much closer and made us the sisters we've been ever since. Not by blood, but by bonds that were just as strong.

I must be laying in bed somewhere, more deeply out than I was after my ordeal in the sewers. And my friends are with me, too. One at a time if not all together. Just knowing they're out there gives me hope. Whether we saved Sector 7 or not, they're alive. Unless I'm just imagining it all as part of my passing. But I don't want to believe that. Still, doubt gnaws at me relentlessly. Then I hear him again. Cloud.

"Don't stop fighting. Because we won't," he tells me. "Remember what I told you, Jessie. Don't give up."

Short and to the point, just like Cloud. If I could smile in this place, I would. Even here, he's helping me, protecting me. Just like he always has, ever since the night we met. I think I'm falling in love with him a little bit more. Always knew there was more to him than that tough merc act he's always putting on. And I know he cares about me.

I let his words and those of my friends fill me and keep me afloat. It's almost like when the sahagins tried to drown me. The cold and darkness of death is still pulling at me, trying to drag me down into the depths, but my friends have given me something to hold onto, something to keep me alive. And I'll cling to it for as long as I can.

If I can just hold on long enough, then I know I can find a way out of here sooner or later. So I'll trust my friends and listen to their advice. I've never been one to give up when things get tough, and they can't get much harder than they are now. As I fall back into my memories, I use them to stay alert and alive and to keep on fighting.