19 days - Fanficiton

3 - Qiu's issues

One day

Qiu suddenly was afraid that ...

And this bothered him. It bothered him so much, he got angry, started punching walls till his hands were bleeding and went out with girls every night and drink to forget how it felt to be sober and alone. He was afraid that he could loose it all. This business was even more dangerous that he had thought in the start. But  he wanted to get through with it. He could stay by his friends side and protect him if possible. If there would be a choice, he would die for him. He was absolutely sure of that and he also thought He Cheng would do the same for him and was just not showing it through the walls he had built around himself to not get hurt. But Qiu knew how it looked inside these walls and how he could break them down for a second. But only for a second. Not longer. Then the walls were there again and Qiu started wondering why they were there. He knew it was because his friend  MUST be strong and MUST protect He Tian. But why MUST there be walls for him also? Why could He Cheng not let them down in front of him at least. He believed he was the person closest to him but he started doubting even that. What was his place? Was he a friend or just a work college? Was He Cheng his boss? Could he be his boss and also his FRIEND? 

If the answer was that Qiu was just a college and He Cheng only one of his chefs and they couldn't be friends, Qiu didn't want to know or accept it. This answer wouldn't satisfy him. But still he had to wonder every night for a few minutes about this issue which he would never be not afraid of speaking out and telling He Cheng how he felt. It just wasn't possible. He would get hurt. He Cheng might get hurt and angry. And then everybody someday would be hurt and dead. Qiu promised himself a long, long time ago (in highschool) that he would protect He Cheng since he did not have a chance to get out of his father's business. He Cheng was strong but he also had to use his head and sometimes he got lost in his thoughts which Qiu was clearly not since he compensated his brain cells with his muscles. He would be there if there was any danger. Always. He would be there to protect them. All. Always.