The One That Came Back

The Final Encounter

I was waiting in the AC waiting room for my turn to come. Since he was a relatively new doctor, not many patients were there but still, the doctor was taking loads of time seeing a single patient. I kept shifting in my seat nervously and then suddenly the assistant called my name.

Bewildered, as I was 10 years ago, I got up and entered the chamber.

I thought I would collapse again but it has been years since I have stopped collapsing on the ground out of anxiety.

It. Was. Ani.

The only person I have ever collapsed for and I mean it in a good way

"Please take a seat",- he said. 

The raspy high pitched adolescent voice was gone and it was replaced by a husky voice of a grown person. But he still had that boyish face that I fell in love with 10 years ago.

"Hello", That's the only thing I could manage.

He looked up, and I swear to God he smirked, something I had never seen him doing.

"Finally", the smirk turned into a broad smile.

He made it easier for me to take the seat and start re-introducing ourselves.

God, he had changed so much. How come two people who had no connection for 10 years still feel like they have been on with each other all this time.

"You have changed a lot,"- He declared

"Not really, just live a better life now", the answer came out without thinking.

"How is your best friend?"

"Oh she is married now and studying for further degrees"

"What about you?", I knew this question was coming.

"I've joined film school and I write...stories...songs...", my voice trailed off as my qualifications were nothing compared to an internationally educated psychiatrist.

"Ooh, a writer! Did you write our story?", he again smirked

"We don't have one. You were never interested", I said looking down at my feet.

He remained silent for a bit and was probably mulling over his thoughts.

"See, I also had a sad story; I just didn't burden you with it",  he mused as he looked out of the window. 

"My mother had stage four metastatic melanoma and she was a doctor. I saw her fade away day after day in pain. Therefore I promised myself to become an oncologist. So I had to study hard and live up to my expectations", he looked back at me.

"How come you never..." I was aghast.

"Then I met you," he announced.

"An artistically gifted but mentally crippled persona who actually needed saving. Maybe I wanted to feel like a hero after my mom's death. I tried to save you but I knew that was not possible, not without enough knowledge.", he said matter of factly 

"That is why you chose psychiatry?", my body froze and butterflies reactivated. 

"You can say that. I wanted to understand you and why you were in pain."

"Why on earth with your qualification you came back to this shithole?" I asked.

"Because I said on our last day that I will come back"

The room was cold, silent and non-judgemental.

He broke the silence and said, "I was expecting you sooner. I knew you'd come. It's better late than never", he genuinely smiled.

What the fuck was he talking about? My palms were sweating.

"Okay, I have other patients. I will give a happy pill that will keep you sane till the next date I see you. The only purpose of this prescription is no one suspects us", he chuckled

I got up. I have had enough.

As I put my right hand on the door handle I asked "I don't believe that you've done all these and waited 10 years for me regarding the 'thing' we had", I vented

"I did date but not a single day passed without thinking about you"

An awkward silence prevailed.

he added, "fire your previous doctor and shrink if you want. I am capable of taking the responsibility for your mental health now clinically."

"But you were one of those who ruined it pretty nice", I mocked

He suddenly became serious and replied "I tried putting bandaid on a wounded soul while dealing with my emptiness. I am sorry"

Now I was uncomfortable. 

We were talking like 10 years haven't passed and we are 27 now. We were 17 again. Matured 17 years old people.

It was comfortably uncomfortable. This kind of discomfort is pleasurable.

"Will we be seeing each other again, Romita?", he asked.

"I don't know, because the last time it was your choice. Will you let me make one this time?"

"The emergency number on the prescription is my personal number.", he informed with direct eye contact and I didn't look away.

"Let's see if I get in the situation of being institutionalized I might consider."

I came out of the chamber exasperated, holding my breath for so long and when I got out of the hospital I exclaimed loudly

"The Fuck?!"

The passerby people were bewildered at my cursing.

Is this how life circles itself?

Is this how we come back to where we started?

Him and I?

For good or bad I don't know. But it'll be worth a shot instead of regretting the rest of my life and thinking "The One That Got Away".

Bon Voyage