Finding Kelly

Chapter 26

Brian stood in the mirror and looked at his own face.  He adjusted his tie and grabbed a wash rag to wipe his tear stained eyes.  Today was the day, he would perform the hardest funeral he had ever done.  It was honestly one of the hardest things he had ever done to date in his life.  A man he loved like a father, wished was here now so he could just ask his advice on how to deal with all this, was the man in the casket.  He knew that he needed God's strength more than ever before.  He could NOT do this in his own human strength.  That would be completely impossible.  He stood with his hands on the sink looking into the mirror wishing this wasn't something he was about to go do.  Wishing he could run up to Harold and he would just get up out of that casket and Pat him on the back like normal and say, "Son, it's ok, it was just a dream."  Brian pushed back the tears.  This particular activity would take God's strength and his own will power and ability to sit his own feelings aside for a time to deal with the task at hand.  He thought about the grieving process and about shock.  What a blessing to be in shock abs denial.  That was a gift, a time given to us to do the work needed without the sorrow and pain that would surely come later.  Then his thoughts turned to Kelly,  I found Kelly at a time in my life I needed her most.  God truly gives us gifts, what we need most in life and always goes before us like he promises in His word.  Brian caught his breath as a tear rolled down his face, "what a mighty and good God I serve", he whispered softly through tears.  He looked back up at his reflection in the mirror and prayed, "God I am almost too weak to pray.  I need your Spirit, I have to have your great love fill every inch of myself.  Please God, I can break down later with you and maybe even Kelly by my side... but right now I need to be the pastor, the shepherd to this family I love so deeply and I can not do it without your help.  I loved him God you know how much I loved him.  My dad tried but left me empty in so many ways, this man was a gift from you to help me cope and learn to live a life like a man should.  He showed me what it look like to love a woman and his kids.  He loved me like his own too... please let me get through this Lord."  Brian sobbed for a moment and then peace came over him and his will was able to shine through.  He cleaned his face and stood up straight to fix his tie.  "Thank you father, in Jesus name, Amen." 

When Brian walked out of the men's restroom of the church Kelly was leaning on the wall waiting for him.  "Hey, you ok in there my strong man?" She whispered softly as she made eye contact and put both of her hands on the sides of his face.  She smiled at him and then kissed his forehead.  "Harold would have loved to see you fall in love Brian." A very familiar voice of a woman he loved like his own mother said from behind him.  They both turned to her and smiled.  "Sherry, I am gonna miss him so much..." he caught his tears in his throat and smiled down at her. "There better be another more joyous occasion in this church soon.  I like the idea of wedding bells.  Did you know that Harold and I knew we were in love within a week.  Did you know he proposed after a month and then we were married in three.  Did you know when I look at you two I see us sometimes.  A young, beautiful, raw, authentic love that is very rare.  Do NOT ever let this world tell you that it's not ok to love like you do this soon, I know they said it to Harold and I. Here we are, truly, till death do us part..." tears welled up in her eyes as she smiled looking toward the doors where her beloved laid. "51 years later, I love him more than I did before.  Every day I thought I loved him as much as a person could love... nope I grew founder of him almost daily.  I never stopped being in awe, in love they call it, of my Harold.  He was my perfect man, my protector, provider, lover and best friend.  Heck, still to this day I will never have to work a day again as long as I live if I don't want to, because he worked hard to not only provide for us in our younger years but all the way to death as well."  She looked back at them and smiled. "Don't waste time kids, time is precious and it goes fast and you never know when it will stop.  Love each other and do it now."  Sherry then patted them on the arms and walked into the room where Harold laid, she pulled up a chair and sat beside his body.  She put her hand in the casket and held his.  She didn't shed a tear just smiled and spoke to him softly and quietly alone.

Brian pulled Kelly close to himself in an embrace.  He wanted to propose right then but then stopped himself.  He didn't want to do anything from pure emotion.  He wanted to do things right, show her how important and worthy of the highest respect she deserved.  Make sure she knew he put a lot of thought and care into his decision to take Sherry's advice.  He still wasn't sure that Kelly felt the same way about rushing things. She had said she did before but that was in a passionate moment.  He wanted to be level headed for both of them and make sure it was all done in God's perfect timing.  Which meant he had some praying to do, about Kelly and himself.  But for now, He needed to pull himself together and be their pastor.  He had to go out there with all the human strength and will power he could muster and partner it with God's Holy Spirit power and preach the sermon Sherry said Harold would have wanted.  He needed to talk about him and honor him and then share the gospel with the room.  He would need to be the hands and feet of Jesus and set his own feeling aside for just a few hours.  The Lord would be there for him and his needs after it was all over.  He knew God would hold him tightly and heal his broken heart too in time.  He also knew Kelly's arms would be apart of that process now and that brought him comfort that he hadn't experienced before.  God knew what He was doing when He decided man should not be alone.  Brian was happy as he realized he didn't have to be alone anymore.  God had sent him his helper, his lover, his human best friend.