Violet Petal

A Secret

I was sitting in the living room, and thinking about the recent days. I had done a lot of research on Hanahaki, and the doctor was right, there was no cure. Not even a miracle could save me apparently. I don't understand the logic of the disease vanishing when your love is no longer unrequited.

"Hey," said Hajime, waving a book in my face.

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

Haru looked at me with concern in his eyes. "Is something the matter? Hajime called your name twice."

I leaned back into the couch. "I was lost in thought."

"I heard you've been tasked with writing the songs for our concert." Hajime opened his book again.

"Yeah. Tia is writing the lyrics for them. I don't know whose job is harder."

"Mine," Tia said, entering. "Speaking of lyrics, I needed to talk to you."

"Hmm?" I asked.

"The song you composed the other day—"

"All gold and faded yellows—"

"And stars in darkness. Yes, that one. Who's the song for?" She opened her notebook, getting ready to write.

That was an interesting description of the song. Does she see music in feelings, I wonder?

"Why don't you take a guess?" I sighed from the couch.

"From the way you described it—" Tia started.

"And the way you did too—" I continued.

"I would say—"

"Kakeru," we finished together.

"You two are in sync," Haru noted.

"Enjoy it. It won't last," Tia said as I laughed. Tia and I are good friends but our interests sometimes clashed. Tia waved a goodbye as she left the room.

"Did you finish your homework?" Hajime asked me.

"Wait, we had homework?"

"Science, lesson 4."

A very vague memory of the teacher saying something about that crossed my head and I sighed, putting a hand on my forehead.

"You've been distracted in class too. Are you really alright?" Haru asked, setting a cup down. "Or is your workload finally getting to you?"

I shook my head. I was excellent at managing my time. The problem was that I found no point in doing anything, especially when it wouldn't make a difference.

"I just need to gather my thoughts."

"Have you decided on a major?" Hajime asked.

"No," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

He tilted his head slightly. "You can tell me, you know."

I'm starting to realize he can easily spot when I'm lying. I think I'll wonder about that later.

"I was thinking psychology." I glanced away.

Realization flickered in his eyes. "I see."

He put his book down and gave me his undivided attention. "Then, why don't you work with that goal in mind? Nothing is set in stone, you know."

I thought for a second. He doesn't really know what was ailing me, but he's not wrong. Who's to say they won't find a cure? Who's to say there won't be a miracle? And I loved competing with Haru over the ranking boards. There's really no reason for me to be depressed. I was always going to die someday. Might as well die aiming for a dream.