Violet Petal

Graduation

"Are you ready?" Haru asked, as he knocked on my door.

I pulled up my socks and jumped up. "Yeah!"

Today was high school graduation. Today marks the day we choose the rest of our lives. Some of the students would take over family businesses, some would work part time jobs and some more would go to university. I wouldn't be going to university, considering my health, and Hajime and Haru are both taking a few years off university. I knew they really liked their job as idols and I supported that.

Ruka walked up to me after we reached school and asked me whether I was joining University. I shook my head and told him I would be taking a year off. Hajime and Haru had disappeared somewhere in between, most likely being stampeded by fangirls. I started coughing, and wondered whether whatever force was up there had any sense of timing. Ruka looked concerned at the severity as I doubled over, and moved to touch me, stopping when he noticed the flower that fell into my palms.

"Hanahaki...?"

I smiled. "Not bad. I hadn't heard about it until I went to the hospital."

"When...?"

"A few months now." I tossed the flower into the bushes. "Keep this a secret, okay?"

Ruka's eyes held anguish, and I remembered all the times we had joked around in the library, everytime he would run up to me after an exam, all puppy-eyed. I realized this was someone else I had come to care for, someone else who cared for me. Perhaps it would have been better for me to have remained the girl who was called ice? Better for who though, I wonder.

We stared at each other for a bit. "Who?" Ruka asked finally.

"Hajime," I said, with a soft smile.

"He's the only one who can bring that expression onto your face, you know," said Ruka, a gentle smile on his face, but sadness in his eyes.

"Well, I wish he knew that." I looked up at Ruka again. "Good luck on your entrance exams."

Haru and Hajime walked up and Haru threw an arm around Ruka. "So, have you confessed your undying love for her yet?"

I looked at them, my head slowly catching up. They're joking, right? Then why were Ruka's ears turning red?

"There's actually no point now." Ruka shoved his hands into his pocket and smiled at me, a little sheepishly.

Ah, so I was loved. I wonder since when. I returned his smile, not sure exactly what to say. "I'm sorry, but thank you."

He nodded and stretched his hands. "Well, I hope the one you love returns it."

Now it was my turn to blush. The brat just set me up for trouble. Haru and Hajime both looked at me in surprise. "Who's that?" Haru asked.

Ruka smirked and walked away, and I covered my face and glanced at Hajime, whose expression was slightly wistful. "No one," I said finally. I grabbed them both by the wrists. "Come on!" I said, pulling them both away.

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There were only two months left until the concert, and everyone had gotten extremely busy from overtime at practice. The number of people who had crashed in the living room was astronomical. I was wondering if I should have a stock of blankets ready.

I handed a cup of coffee to Hajime, who was looking over a script.

"Acting in a drama?"

"A movie," he said, putting it down. "Shooting is after our concert, of course."

I nodded, and took a seat next to him. His hair was a mess, probably a result of late nights. Hajime put his cup down when he saw me staring at him.

"Hmm?" He asked.

I put my hand in his hair in an attempt to get his hair straightened out. "Well, your hair is a mess."

He put his hand in my hair. "So is yours." I smiled, as his hand moved to my neck, and then fingered my necklace. He held up the pendant.

"This is?"

"A gift from my brother."

"You have a brother?"

"Had."

His eyes widened in realization and then after a long, hard glance, he asked me, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I thought for a second. "Yes."

Hajime pulled me so that I was on his lap, my legs stretched out on the couch. I held onto his shirt, and he put his arms around me and smiled.

"Tell me about him."

I took a deep breath and leaned into Hajime's shoulder. "My brother was a good person. He was five years older than me, so he took care of me a lot. There weren't many times we fought, because he usually gave me whatever I asked for, as long as it wouldn't make me sick.

"He was also the golden child. He was kind of perfect, and my parents loved him. I loved him too.

"And one day, I had fallen into the lake. I was 8 years old, and I didn't know how to swim. He tried to save me, and he ended up drowning instead." At this, Hajime's arms around me tightened. "Things changed after that. My parents blamed me for his death. They weren't exactly wrong either. My dad turned to alcohol and my mom despised me." I thought about the only friend I had that time, and I continued.

"I once had a friend in middle school. She was really kind and she stayed by me, even after my mom threatened her. My mom pulled some strings and her father lost his job. They couldn't find another one either. She committed suicide after that."

I realized tears were streaming down my face and I tried to wipe them away, but Hajime did it before me. He put one hand in my hair.

"None of it was your fault."

I covered my mouth as I started sobbing, and Hajime just held me until I fell asleep there.

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"Their concert is tomorrow!"

I smiled at Tia's enthusiasm. Everyone in Procellarum and Six Gravity actually had the day off, but Hajime, Shun, Kai and Haru had called in a meeting with Dai and Kanade. Yoru and You were dancing in the backyard, and I don't know where everyone else is. I could hear Aoi and Rui singing from their respective rooms, and was right to think that everyone was practicing.

"Tomorrow should be fun," I nodded.

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And it was fun. We parted ways in the front of the concert venue, since there was still some time to start. They had gone to their greenroom, while Tia and I whiled away time. We visited a sweets shop and walked around town. I noticed it was getting harder to breathe the longer I walked, but I didn't say anything, because Tia looked so excited. We headed back as they opened the venue.

If anything, the clash of colors I saw there was enough to make my life bright for a lifetime. Now I finally know the color of everyone's voices. I felt my heart throb when Hajime stepped onto the stage, all violet and black and pretty, his bright eyes searching the crowd.

The concert ended on a high note, and Tia and I waited outside, both of us filled with adrenalin. When they stepped out, Tia ran up to Kai and gave him a hug as he laughed, and I high-fived Hajime and Haru.

"That was amazing!" Tia and I said together.

I could tell everyone was tired, but I could also tell that they had adrenalin running through them just like us.

Kanade and Dai walked up and said, "Good work." You cheered, and the rest of them echoed it. Dai and Kanade took us all back to the dorm.

I was thinking about the concert when I started coughing again. I did expect the symptoms to worsen at some point, but I wasn't prepared for this. On the floor, was a single violet flower, covered in blood. I cleaned it up with my hands shaking, and then took three deep breaths before I washed my hands, feeling like I was cleaning up evidence from a murder scene.

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