My Brother's Best Friend (DreamNotFound)

"This Feeling"

Chpt. 16
(George's Perspective)

The familiar mornings with the boy waking up by my side happens once again. This time we were finally alone. No sap, no Abby, just us. Even though we had been sleeping well past the early morning no part of me wanted to get up. And this time nothing was making us either.

I roll over to be met with Dream's face right next to mine. I pull my arm out from my side and run it through his wavy hair. He slowly lets out a sigh, opening his eyes. Nothing made me happier than the smile that formed on his face when he saw me next to him.

He stretches out his arms with a yawn and pulls me into his arms.

"It's finally just us this morning," I joke

"Yep," His voice raspy and deep, "How do you always look so perfect." A grin pulls at my cheeks as I squeeze him tighter.

The warmth from his body fills the room, as that golden feeling courses through me. I let him hold all of me, falling into his bliss. Closing my eyes, falling onto his shoulder. I feel his finger trace small circles on my back sending tiny shivers up my spine.

At this moment in time there was nowhere I'd rather be, no one I'd rather be with. I could spend the rest of eternity in his arms and feel I fulfilled the meaning of my existence.

I felt complete.

A feeling I can never truly understand or comprehend. A feeling that a hole you didn't even know was there was suddenly overflowing with bliss.

A small tear manages to escape my eye. Not a sad tear, not necessarily 'happy' either, just overwhelming, endless... feeling.

He brings his hand to my face and wipes the tear away, concerned shooting through his eyes.

"What's wrong? What did I do?" His voice sped up and urgent, "I'm so sorry, George, tell me." Silence. I didn't know what to say. I didn't understand what this was. I was so confused to even understand his words. How would I be able to tell someone?

"George please, I hate seeing you cry. It hurts me." I didn't even know what to say. I wasn't hurting, but now, knowing that he was, I couldn't help but feel bad too.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you," Tears start to spill out of my eyes, "It's confusing, I don't like being confused. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay. George it's okay," his reassuring eyes staring into mine. His hands cupping my face and wiping away the salty tears, "what's confusing?"

"Everything Clay, everything!" my head explodes with fear and stress. Every concerning thought running through my mind.

"What do you mean?" My body and mind yet again fail to measure up to my emotions, collapsing into him. "You're okay George, just tell me. I want to help you. I can't keep watching you hurt like this and pretend to be okay with it."

"I don't even know."

"You can't keep saying that George. It doesn't help. You aren't even telling me if I've done something wrong." His voice started to climb, becoming more stem and annoyed.

"It's not my fault, I can't help it."

"Help what, being confused?" His voice hurt; raised and angered, like a punch in the gut. Why was he mad at me? "HELP WHAT?"

"being in love with you," tears started to fall out of my eyes as I curl up into the sheets. I felt so helpless, so stupid.

I could just tell he was tired. Tired of having to deal with me when I just fell apart for no reason. He took his time before, kept himself in check. But he didn't deserve this. He had every right to be mad. Even his dad knows this isn't good for him.

I'm not supposed to be in love with him.

My vision flows into color as I squeeze my eyes as tight as I can. I turn my body over, moving to the end of the bed.

I wanted to leave so bad. I didn't know how things could change so quickly. It's not that I didn't want to be with him. I just didn't want to be with the person I was at that moment. I grab my stuff, not thinking, and head down the stairs. I grab a glass from the kitchen and fill it with water drinking it as fast as I can.

Before I finish I hear the sounds of footsteps crashing down the stairs. Everything was so loud, so quiet. So much, so little. His mom comes in from the dining room and puts an arm around me. I pull myself away before she can say anything, Dreams figure making its way down the stairs.

"I need to go, sorry," I say to her in a light voice. His mom looks at me before noticing the tears on my face. She leads me to the door and grabs her keys.
Just as the door opens, Dream's dad comes into the room, his face distorted with anger. Dreams mom heads out the door taking my hand before shutting the door behind us.

"Get in I'll take you home," I can't help but to hear the muffled conversation from the house. I look through the window to see Dream standing helplessly in the kitchen. I get in the car and curl up. The conversation from inside picking up volume. The car rolls out the driveway and heads down the street. My cheeks are once again covered in droplets of salty water as I stare at the window.

"If you ever want to talk about anything you're welcome to." Her voice was the only thing I could truly make out. It was comforting. "If he ever does anything wrong, just tell me, okay?"

"Mmhmm" I say as I nod my head

We pull up my driveway and I grab my stuff.

"Stay safe, call me if you want anything. Say hi to your mum for me." I nod with a little smile as I run up to the house. I open the door and run up to my room. I fall onto my bed and let myself cry. I messed up.

The hours of the day passed and it was almost four. I had spent my entire day laying in my bed, some of it taking restless naps. I feel my stomach ache for food, I had barely enough energy to do anything but somehow I managed to get myself up.

I haul myself down the stairs and grab a box of leftover noodles that they had probably gotten last night. I bring them upstairs and as I pass saps room I can't help but to hear him talking to someone.

"I don't know what it was about. he just said it and then left"

"That sucks dude, what about your dad?"

"Grounded me."

My heart drops as I run back to my room. I was almost over it. He has to suffer because i'm too attached to this little joke. It was all my fault, I messed up. Just like I do everytime. I was lost, yet again.

I take deep breaths as the trails from my tears dry on my face. I slowly close my eyes trying to fall asleep. My phone dings and lights up right beside me. I had my phone on 'do not disturb' so I knew who it was. I take a moment before bringing the phone to my eyes.

<*1 new message*
Dream:
Hey, can we talk>

—

(1231 words)

Angsty but short, I didn't really feel like adding any more and it felt like a good end so this one was pretty short. I also wrote this one on my phone because I'm up at a chalet going skiing. I'm gonna try to do 2 on Friday's so that's gonna start next week. I have a feeling this one is gonna go for only a bit more (10 chpts, just an estimation). Hope you guys liked it, I do not like writing from my phone.

Have an amazing weekend, you're loved <3

* edited (dec.1, 2021)