But to love is to live. (Criminal Minds)

XXXI. Let me speak

A/N: ⚠️Sexual Assult, Eating Disorder, Description of Rape, Strong Language⚠️

Short but oh so important. Those little secrets you didn't know I had been keeping will be brought to light.

"Grace let's go!" Emily yelled up the stairs.

Grace descended the stairs in jeans and a nice shirt and shoes. Her eyes reflected annoyance "I'm coming, I'm coming geez."

"Well, we better get a move on."

The moment the precinct came into view Grace tensed. She hadn't been there in several weeks. Her Mama parked the car. She stepped out of the car and her Moms went to flank either side of her when they walked into the building. A detective greeted them saying "I am Detective Smith one of the detectives on your daughter's case. Please come with me."

She led them into a conference room. Emily and JJ sat behind Grace against the wall with the one-way mirror. The detective sat in front of Grace "Do you know why you are here?"

Grace didn't like the women's tone "Is this an interrogation?"

"No. I just need you to answer some questions."

"Why?"

"Someone was added to your council and they want to have you answer s few questions."

Emily and JJ cut in "New council?"

"Don't worry about it right now."

"Excuse me." JJ said sternly."

"Ma'am-"

"It's Agent and this is my wife Unit Cheif of the BAU now who is this council?"

"Agents please understand I am just supposed to ask Grace questions."

The Mothers crossed their arms still fuming but stopping themselves.

"Can you tell me about that night?"

"I was at the party. My cup was slipped something. I was raped."

The detective nodded slowly "How many drinks?"

"Half a cup?"

"What was in it?"

"Fruit punch, malibu, and GHB."

"GHB?"

"The date rape drug I was given."

"How can you be sure?"

"That's what my blood test said."

The detective wrote some stuff down before grasping her hands together on the table "As you know the trial is fast approaching. We don't want you to speak."

"I want to speak," Grace said defensively

JJ and Emily both looked at one another from their seats behind Grace. The detective said, "I don't believe that is wise."

She looked back at her Mom's "I'm sorry."

"What?"

Grace looked back at the detective "Have you ever been raped?" It's almost like a curtain dropped over the girl's face. The once girl now looked like her mothers ready to send a suspect to their knees.

The detective shook her head no.

Grace let out a soft chuckle "Of course you haven't. Anyone ever told you what it was like?

"No, but I can imagine"

"Part of me wants to scream at you while the other just wants to scream"

"Well-"

"I AM TALKING!" Grace exploded a/n: comment if you know what that is from.

The detective took a step back. JJ and Emily sat stunned. She was her mother's daughter. Grace was going to make a damn fine Agent one day.

Grace looks at the woman and in a bone-chilling, slow soft voice she says "In movies and TV they make it seem like the woman crawls out of her own skin. Watching as their shell gets penetrated over and over. They lay their helpless eyes still and glossed over trying to push their mind somewhere else to deal with the horror as some fucking Lilith Fair song plays. Huh well, it's nothing like that. It's dirty. It's sweaty. You fight so hard and he punches you so bad you see God. He wraps his hand around your throat until all you wish for is death. He starts ripping and tearing at things you never even knew you had with each thrust. Then he blows his filthy seed so deep inside of you an all-new fear bubbles up but oh god what does he have? What if I get pregnant? Oh but that's not enough he liked it so much he goes back in over and over until he's dripping out of you. After that, he pulls out a switchblade carving an M into your hip to mark you as his forever." She stood pulling her pants slightly down so the Detective could see the clear M carved in the skin on the girl's hip."Your best friend barges in seeing your half continuous body being mutilated. That smell of blood, sex, and his fucking cheap cologne will never leave my nose. After the paramedics carry you through a home filled with all your classmates they bring you to the hospital and you are faced with a whole new challenge. You have to be photographed, striped, examined, and a thousand other things just for the hope that you can convict this boy. Your feet go up into the stirrups as the doctor tries to find the best way to reconstruct what is left of your womanhood. You get put on broad-spectrum antibodies and other drugs to try to recover from the damage done. Damage so bad the doctor looks up at you sad eyes saying "I am so sorry but there is only a 15% chance you will be able to carry your own child." Then they send you home. You are plagued with nightmares. Waking up in a cold sweat. You can't even look at your loved ones because the look they give you just puts you right back on that filthy mattress. This boy took away my sleep, my peace, my virginity, my innocence, my ability to have kids. There is no way in hell I am letting him get away with this." Grace stood her mothers quickly following suite

A voice behind them said, "Good thing you council is here."

They turned. The three stood there completely stunned JJ was the first to respond.

"Hotch?"

Wow! The next chapter will take me a few days. So soak in and digest all the information I just threw at you guys.