Sweet Penelope

Where is home?

I studied the drawings pinned up on the wall by thumbtacks. Penelope chose a different color tack for each drawing and it created a rainbow pattern. She thought of herself something of a professional artist as every drawing had her initials, PRC, in the bottom left corner. Even though the drawings mostly consisted of scribbles, stick men, and bleeding marker, she was something of a professional artist to me too. Looking past the messiness of it, I could see the message she intended for it to have. A family of 4 or sometimes 5, with a few dogs because Penelope has always wanted one. She's always wanted a family and a dog, and I kick myself sometimes because I can't provide her with either. I'm her older brother and that's the only bit family she has, and she's all that I have. So, she draws these pictures and I know the thought of these unrealistic families poorly drawn on a piece of paper bring her hope and peace of mind. That's why I love them and study them so closely, that's all I've ever wanted for sweet Penelope.

It's a school day, and by school, I mean that I'm in a different building still connected onto the orphanage with children my age who also have no family. A woman, Mrs. Meenach, is at a chalkboard talking sternly and quickly, whipping her head around every few seconds to make sure we are all paying attention. We don't switch classes, we stay in this small "classroom" for seven hours and we are allowed two restroom breaks. Class starts at 5 in the morning and ends at noon. I'm a straight A student, not that our grades really mean anything, but I've heard how horrible the tutoring is. Penelope is down the hall from me, she's probably learning how to read. She's an excellent reader for a seven year old, she almost makes me feel stupid when she's reading her books. But while in class, she pretends she can't so that she'll be on the same level with her peers. Penelope is haunted at the thought of ever switching into a more challenging class. I understand that, but I would love to see her learn even more. I put no faith in the "teachers" here so I teach her as much as I can in secret. That's why she's an excellent reader.

Mother is the owner of this orphanage, and the owner of all of the children in it. She's a dictator but she won't admit to that. We are forced to call her Mother, though she is not even a friend to me. On the weekends, we are to be up by eight and in bed by nine. We only have a suitcase of clothes and once a month we're walked to the town library to check out a book. Mother makes us delicious meals, or so she says. They are frozen dinners that are cooked in the microwave for about five minutes. We get to go on a field trip every Saturday, but they're always a pain in the ass for everyone. Our birthdays are not celebrated, but I always give Penelope a birthday hug and she'll always give me one with a drawing of me, her, and a little dog. I wish I could buy her a real gift but she never complains about a thing. As bad as everything may seem, we are the lucky ones. Some kids here sleep under their bed or in their suitcase. Some of them wet the bed and are too afraid to let Mother know so they continue to sleep in it. Some of them are forced to eat because they want to die of starvation. Some of them have nightmares and lay awake in bed all night. They have had traumatic childhoods that have landed them into that position and they've just started to give up. Penelope and I are lucky in that sense, we have both been put through hell but we will never give up.

School finally ended and I met Penelope coming out of her classroom. "Mason!" She hugged my waist and I rubbed her silky blonde hair. She grabbed my hand and we walked together to our room. Mother does allow us to share a room, which is the only good thing she's done for me.
Penelope leaned on the window sill and looked out as the rain smacked against the window. We usually get to play outside for fifteen minutes but the rain stopped us today. "You think anyone will come see us today?" I looked up from my book and sighed. "I don't know Penny. People don't like to drive in the storms." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "I want to go to the dog orphanage." I smiled. The "dog orphanage" is the dog pound several miles from here. She saw it on one of our field trips and hasn't stopped talking about it since. "Yeah, that would be fun. I bet they have a lot of dogs." Penelope climbed into the bed with me. "Lots of dogs with no families."

We were all rushed out of bed the next morning and told to put on our best clothes. Mother had already laid out our best clothes at the end of our beds. I had a flannel and jeans, and Penelope had a yellow dress. This meant a family was here, or two young people wanted a bigger family. I hated the process, I hated being looked as an object, and then their favorite being chosen. Penelope was the opposite though. She was jumping up and down and smiling ear to ear. I hoped today was the day. If it was, we would have our family. And maybe Penelope would even have a dog.

Mother chose ten of us, five boys and five girls. We were all lined single file in front of the older couple. The man had round glasses and his hair was starting to grey and the woman was short and chubby. Mother showed her crooked teeth to them and started her usual speech about her amazing facility and all of the amazing children in it. Mother went down the line, introducing all of us and she finally got to me. "This is Mason Jude Combalt. He's fourteen and he's a wonderful kid. Straight A's, room is always clean, and he's been with us for a couple of years now. His father surrendered him when he was seven and his young sister when she was infant. I don't know why, I think financial problems or something. He's been in the system for 7 years and with us for two years." The man smiled and pushed up his glasses. "And tell me about his sister." Mother smiled. "Oh, of course! This is Penelope Rayne Combalt. She's seven years old. She's a sweetheart and she loves to draw. She does struggle in reading, though. Now, I'd prefer these two stay together. They have a really tight bond." The woman and man looked at each other and nodded. "They're beautiful children. I think they're the ones for us." My eyes got wide and Penelope screamed in joy. I couldn't believe this. Mother's fake personality she wore, especially for this day, had worked. I rubbed Penelope's hair. She deserved this so much more than I did, my dreams for her were finally coming true.

We packed our suitcases, we didn't have much so it didn't take us very long. I gently took Penelope's drawings off the wall. "These are great, Penny. Maybe they'll let you hang them up in their home." Penelope giggled. "Home. A home! Do you think they have a dog?" I zipped her suitcase up to her. "I'm sure they do. They look like dog people. Hell, they might even have a cat. What would you think, then?" She rolled her eyes. "I don't know, but bubby, you really shouldn't use such bad words." I shrugged and grabbed her hand, and we walked down the stairs together. Our future was undetermined. But Penelope was safe and she was happy. That's all that will ever matter to me.