aesthetes.

4 - forgive & forget.

I WALKED BACK HOME, my eyes still red and puffy due to the previous event. it was a touchy subject for me, and i would never be able to forgive my dad. he always tried but i always shut him out or ignored him. i entered my house and saw my mom sitting on the couch while peacefully drinking her tea.

'afternoon, sweetie.' my mom greeted with a warm smile as she took another sip from her cup full of hot green tea.

'hey, mom.' i sigh as a sniff followed, i was still slightly crying.

'perry, what happened?' my mom asked with a worried expression plastered onto her face.

'i don't wanna talk about it.' i denied my mom's offer to comfort me as i rubbed my eyes, also wiping the tears.

'perry, you're my daughter, i care about you, and it hurts me to see you cry like that.' my mom sighs, not giving up.

'well, leo didn't care when he raped me.' i hissed at my mom.

'perry! leo is your dad, he has learned from his mistakes! you need to forgive him soon, or at least accept the fact he's your dad. it happened four years ago for goodness sake!' my mom snapped but she still held a gentle tone.

i roll my eyes and headed upstairs to my room.

i laid down on my bed, thinking.

i couldn't just forgive and forget, he raped me. he used me for sex. he abused me.

after 2 years of him doing it, i finally built the courage to call the police. he was arrested and sentenced to jail for 3 years, he was released earlier this month, but even with all this attempts to apologise to me i ignored him. i didn't want to see his face ever again. bad memories from the past would be the only thing i saw. as i laid with these thoughts running through my mind, i soon drifted off to sleep.

-
i woke up the next day with a long yawn. today was saturday, and i still went to the music store downtown. i threw on a 'the misfits' sweater due to the cold weather outside along with some black jeans and some black dr martens, how colorful.

i didn't look at my mom at breakfast, i was holding a grudge against her. how dare she ask me to just forgive and forget the man who ruined my childhood. my mom seemed fine with it, as if she was used to it and had already expected me to not look at her or even steal a quick glance. i left the house as i stuffed my cold hands into my jean pockets. it was absolutely freezing. i took deep breaths, occasionally breathing out to see the air of my breath due to the cold.

after the bus ride downtown i walked to the music store and greeted grant.

'hey, grant.' i smile, slightly chattering because of the cold.

'hello, perry.' he nodded, also offering me a smile.

'any new records in store?' i question, i had already basically bought every album and cd sold at the store, a huge collection in my house.

'we just got the nirvana bleach album.' he informed. 'aisle 5.' ((( DID ANYONE READ THAT BOOK HFUFIEIISIS )))

i nod as i headed towards aisle 5. i see luke standing reaching out for an album.

i search for the bleach album as i realise luke held the last copy.

'are you fucking kidding me.' i muttered, but it was loud enough for luke to hear.

'sorry, babe, but i asked gramps about new albums first.' he said, the familiar cocky grin spread wide across his lips.

'he isn't gramps, he's grant.' i say while clenching my jaw out of anger.

'whatever,' he rolled his eyes before saying something else, changing the subject. 'why do you always cry and leave the store? you're such a pussy.'

'i may be a pussy but at least i will change, im not an arrogant manwhore that's going to inevitably be unsuccessful in life.' i state confidently before turning my attention toward the albums on the shelves.

'im successful with girls.' he told me.

'thats not something you should be proud of,' i sigh shaking my head at his stupidity and cockiness.

he exhales before leaving me and walking off to grant and buying the album.

i grab an album by the kooks and also purchase the album.

'how was your chat with luke today?' grant asked purely out of curiousity as he scanned the album.

'he's still the cocky dick we both have come to know.' i say, not really interested in today's conversation with grant.

'once you get to know him, he's not bad. he has a soft spot for the people he loves, he doesn't just let people in.' grant explains.

'yeah, but he sure does just let a lot of girls fuck him.' i retort but grant just shakes his head.

'try give him a chance, be patient.' grant told me but i refuse.

'he called you gramps! you hate being claimed old.' i protest, i couldn't believe grant was defending luke. luke hurt him, and he's siding with luke.

grant didn't reply, instead he stayed silent while putting my cd into a plastic bag, i place the money down and snatch the bag from grant, and walk out the store, making sure to slam the door to indicate i was clearly pissed.

-

yikes

hi okok luke is a rly big ass rn but dw he'll start 2 open up in like chapters 10 nd 11 nd stuff so yehahyeha