Guarding My Heart

Prólogo: Gabriel

El punto de vista de Gabriel

I was six when my father was sent to jail. My mother cried over it for a whole month until one day. It stopped. Everything stopped. The next thing I knew was that I was living in my foster parents' home. They took all of us in. All four of us. They didn't mind. Somehow, I never regretted it. I didn't want my father to come back. I didn't want my mother to come back. We were better off without the two of them. At least, that was what I had always thought.

When the police came that day, I was overjoyed. I wanted my father to die. Go somewhere far away from where we all are. I was the one who forced my mother to use the substances to numb her pain. It worked for about a whole month until she disappeared. I was happy. Everything was blurry from my past. I want it to stay that way even though I was the one in pain.

My sisters. They don't understand. Of course they wouldn't. If they do, they wouldn't blame me for the things that I've done. The things that I've done just to protect all three of them. Running away was one of the best options I've got and that was exactly what I chose to do. They don't love me anymore. I wasn't their brother to begin with.

I remembered vaguely about that day. My mother was asleep when my father came home from his late night drinks. I was sitting in the living room, watching over my youngest sister, Ginovia when he barged in to the living room. We've always been scared of him. Until that day, I snapped. Ginovia was ended up blind and deaf for the rest of her life after that very night. I couldn't stand it. I did the only thing I can do. When my father was half asleep on the couch that chilly morning, I waited for him to close his eyes before doing the only thing I can do; I started hitting Ginovia. I was the reason why she became blind and deaf ever since then. Her cries still rang in my ears every night. Reminding me of what I had done. I can't forgive myself for that. But it was the only way.

I remembered my mother shouting at me and begging me to stop. But I wouldn't. I drove the scissors into her eyes without thinking. I waited for Ginovia to quiet down before calling the police. They arrived fifteen minutes later. By then, I had changed out of my bloody clothes and wiped the floor clean of her blood. My mother couldn't say anything. None of them could. I pointed my finger to my father and the police went with it.

I remembered my mother shouting 'Te odio. Hijo desagradecido.' over and over again at me. I didn't care though. It was for the better. I knew it.

When my father was jailed and sentenced to death, I started convincing my mother to use the substances. She became addicted not even up to six weeks. I bought the substances from a local dealer every week for my mother. I thought it was fun. Ginovia was the only one who still cares about me. She didn't know that I was the one who almost killed her when she was just two years old. When my mother disappeared a month after she started using the substances, I called child services and told them about my sisters.

My plan was for them to pick up my sisters and bring them somewhere better. I didn't plan for them to take me away too. We were locked up in child services for about a whole year until our foster parents stepped forward and volunteered to foster us for the time being. The first month together with them was great. When I turned 13, I quitted school to work and earn a living. Hopeful that I can earn enough to raise my own sisters up.I started by working as a drug dealer on the streets. Getting my drugs from a local gang and dealing them to everyone on the street. Business was good and I can at least earn five thousand a month. My foster parents didn't know about this. They also didn't know that I wasn't attending school anymore.This went on for about two whole years until I met a gang leader. He took a liking in me and started giving me jobs. This went on until I turn 18. I rised up in ranks faster than expected. The gang leader, who I've been calling boss for the past five years, gave me the role of being his second in command. I've been holding that title for 7 years.

I ran away from my foster parents' home when I was sixteen and never went back ever since then. I sent letters to my three sisters every month but the only one who replied to me was Ginovia. I paid for their school fees, knowing that my foster parents wouldn't be able too. I never told them that though. They just know me as a tycoon who pays for everyone in the school. But it wasn't that. I was only paying for the three of them.

I didn't regret ever doing what I did. I had to save them from my father and mother. But they didn't understand.

I wanted nothing in this world but for them to be happy. Our foster parents' are nearing the age of 80 plus. They couldn't take care of them anymore than that except for providing them with shelter. My foster parents knew what I was doing, and who I had become. They accepted me as I am and promised to keep their mouth zipped shut about me and my whereabouts. I send money to them every month for their daily necessities. I made sure that my sisters dated the right guys and wouldn't regret ever meeting them.

Looking back down, I wrote a reply back to Ginovia, telling her that I wouldn't be attending Gina's wedding next week. I love her. But I know, she wouldn't even want to see my face anymore.

Lo siento, no puedo ir. Tengo trabajo para atender.

- Gabriel

It was fake. I didn't have work to attend to. I just have work when boss calls me over for something. I've stolen from the rich. I've done drug trafficking. I've forced girls into prostitution before. I've killed. I've murdered. I've assassinated. I've done every illegal and bad thing in this world. I couldn't care anymore.

I just wanted my sisters to have the best life possible. If they are happy, I'm happy.