Guarding My Heart

Seis : Escapar Pt. 1

El punto de vista de Gabriel

I had never imagined Lea to let me into the house that night. I was actually looking forward to crashing together with Liam -with him on his own bed and me on the floor- like how I normally do when I don't feel like going home after a job. I usually enter through his room window by climbing up using the pipes outside of the house and I've been doing it often. More than I want too for these past two weeks. There was always a job every night and going back to my cramped up rented room was never a choice.

I was just about to turn and walk away when Lea grabbed my arm and said that I can go in and crash for the night. I was about to say that it wouldn't be necessary but reminded myself about the rain. Nodding my head, I followed her into the house and through the halls and the house. She brought me into one of the hallways and to a room where she said that it was a guest room for her parents friends and family after a fancy house party and that they are too drunk to go home. I was about to say that they aren't even driving home because I bet all of them have their own chauffeurs.

Thanking her for letting me in the house and a place for me to crash for the night, Looking around the room, I said "This room is bigger than my rented room over at King's street" I didn't why I had said that. It's not like I'm looking forward to what she has to say about it. I didn't want anyone to know where I live at or why I can only afford to rent a small cramped up room. King's street doesn't actually exist because the real name for the street is 'Raffouer's plot'. It wasn't even a street. It was something like a plot of land which Rambo had bought ten years ago and built rooms from wood for all of us. The wood, as in ply wood.

The rooms are 32 square feet. It's probably the reason why I don't feel like going back to the room and suffocating myself in the room. Each and every one of us are not allowed to give away the name of the real place we are staying at. All of us refer to it as King's street and nothing more. We are also to only refer to the rooms as an apartment. I had been staying at the house for about five years now. Before that, I sleep underneath the bridge somewhere. When Rambo decided to give me a place -a room- to stay at, I was grateful. But the more time I spend inside of the room, the more I become frustrated.

I couldn't stand being inside any longer. It was suffocating me. Lea didn't say anything about my rented or the room. She just brushed it off and handed over the pillows, sheets and comforter to me. I had forgotten about the blood on me until she pointed it out. I couldn't tell her the truth about where the blood came from. It was a gang rule. Rambo doesn't want any of us to get involve together with a girl - that roughly meant have a girlfriend- because we'll just end up letting them know the truth about the gang and that is exactly the thing that Rambo is trying to avoid.

No one needs to know about the gang and it's going to stay that way. Only the police knows about us and Rambo wants it to stay that way. It was the only thing that was keeping me from having a girlfriend. The girls that goes in and out from my room is mostly prostitutes or strippers. I didn't want to have anything to do with them after what happened the last time I did. It was a mistake. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.

When I went to have a bath, I saw how Lea was fidgeting around me. She was pulling at the hems of her shirt and looking down at her shoes, avoiding eye contact together with me. She was probably trying to avoid me after the party because of me recording what she had said. I don't want her to have a bad impression on me because of that. Bad impressions always meant she wouldn't end up in bed together with me. I try to put up a good act most of the time and let the girl think that I'm very into her because in the end, I only want something from her and it isn't love.

Lea is Liam's sister. That might be one of the facts that is stopping me from forcing myself on her. I didn't want to let her know that I am trying to charm myself into sleeping together with her. With her willingly fucking me, it wouldn't be as hard as me forcing myself on her. One night is every thing that can make me satisfy myself and forget.