Stage Fright // l.h

0.7

Cassidy

Anthony, Matt, and Neil didn't want to join the 5SOS boys and I for pizza, so I just left without them.

Although, I didn't get to leave until after I've heard the 'don't let any of them touch you unless you know what's good for you' speech from Neil. The last time I heard that was right before we toured with All Time Low and I hugged Jack after a show.

Neil wasn't very happy with me, so I ended up taking a hit to the face. The bruise was easy to cover, but the fact that he even thought for a moment to lay a hand on me hurt more than the initial impact.

I loved Neil. At least, well, I thought I did. But when he did shot like that it made it really fucking hard to love him.

I grabbed a jacket from my bunk on the bus and headed out, smiling at Calum and Ashton because they were the only two who wear actually facing the door of the bus when I had gotten off.

On the short walk to the pizza place here in New York, I had found out that Calum fucking loves dogs. Probably even more than he loves another human being. I found out that Ashton helps look after his younger brother and sister back at home when he's not touring, which I found rather humbling of him. Michael, he told me he loved video games and he didn't care much for partying. Upon hearing that, I challenged him in League of Legends before we would have to part ways.

As for Luke, I found out that his longest relationship was with a girl named Aleisha, that his mom was a maths teacher, he didn't know how to surf despite living in Australia his whole life, that Good Charlotte was the band that inspired him to learn guitar, and that he actually liked the movie Mean Girls.

At the pizza parlor we probably five or six pizzas all together, and I thought Ashton's eyes were going to pop out of his fucking skull when he realized I could pack away an entire large pepperoni pizza by myself without a problem.

"Cassidy, are you okay?" Ashton giggled, eyeing the second pizza I was about to tear into.

"Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine," I shoved another slice in my mouth, "just really fucking hungry."

"I can see that, holy shit." Calum was laughing to the point where his eyes were all crinkled up on the sides, and for a moment he looked like a young boy without a care in the world. As if he weren't famous. "Mikey, she eats more than you!"

"Hey!" Michael wiped pizza sauce off of his face, "I don't eat everything, that's Luke."

"Shut up!" Luke covered his face with one hand as he looked away. I thought for a second that maybe he was embarrassed, but maybe he was just annoyed with his friends.

"Hey, eating a lot is cool. It's one of my hobbies." I kept shoveling slices of pizza into my mouth before I realized that they were all just staring at me in awe. "What? Do girls not usually eat a lot around you?"

"Not really." Calum admitted shyly. "But its awesome that you do."

"For real," Ashton took a swig of whatever drink it was that he ordered, "it doesn't put any pressure on us to act like gentlemen."

"I don't see why girls don't eat," I finished off the slice I had in my hand and leaned back into the booth, stretching my legs out, "I mean, it's just food."

"Food is necessary." Luke chuckled.

Fuck, he was cute.

"Hey," I started, "I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

I stood up and walked away, but before I did, I discreetly motioned for Luke to follow me. I didn't formally apologize to him he for the whole Neil debacle back at the arena, and I didn't want him to feel like he should worry.

Before we made it to the small secluded hallway which held the bathrooms, I turned around.

"Hey, um.. I just wanted to apologize for what Neil said back at the arena," my voice was shaky, "he had no right to say any of that shit, and I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

"Cass, erm, Cassidy.. It's fine. He wouldn't be the first jealous boyfriend to confront one of us." Luke leaned up against the wall and rubbed his neck, looking at his feet. He shoved one hand into the pocket of his jeans, and only just then I realized his blue flannel was a couple buttons short of being modest here.

"But really, I'm sorry," I brought my hand up to pull my bangs back, the sleeve of my jacket falling down.

"Cassidy, what are those from?" Luke grabbed my arm gently and slid the sleeve up to my elbow, eyeing the small black and blue bruises that mimicked Neil's hand perfectly.

"Those are nothing," I rushed.

"No, Cassidy.. Please tell me those aren't self inflicted, or that Neil gave them to you?" My eyes met his, and there was so much worry plastered over his structured face.

I couldn't lie to him.

I couldn't do it.

"I can't tell you that." My voice trailed off and my gaze shifted to the floor. There was no way I could face him, but instead he just pulled me into a loose hug.

"Cassidy, I'm so sorry."

-

Luke

I just held her there for a minute. Her 5'3 frame seemed child-like next to my 6'4 stature, but I just held her there.

"Don't say sorry." She mumbled against my chest. "It's not even your fault."

"But I am sorry." The fact that anyone would lay a hand on girl was beyond fucked up, but the fact that it was Cassidy scared me.

She seemed so strong, like it was her against the world. That's why I thought she was unique in this toe of business. But obviously she had some personal problems of her own that she had to handle behind closed doors.

"Please, don't be." She pulled away, her eyes meeting mine for the first time all night. "It's fine."

"But it's not fine, he's hurting you."

"Luke, the thing is, everyone gets hurt in this world. You just have a say in who hurts you."

Those words broke my heart. Maybe she was right? Maybe she loved him so she let him hurt her.

But that's never the right choice.

"But you also have a say in who can't."
My eyes darted in between hers, looking for some sort of emotion.

Even though I thought she was in a higher position in the music world than me, we were equals. I didn't want to be hanging this conversation with her, quite frankly I'd rather be kissing her, but I have to take it one step at a time here.

"That's what you think."

"No, Cass," I used her nickname once more, "that's the truth."

She leaned up against the wall and crossed her arms, still looking at me. I felt a twinge of fear strike me, but I held my ground.

"So what?"

"So what it is here," I started, "is that I want to help you."

"How do you plan on helping me?"

"I-I just want you to contact me if you ever need anything, okay?" I fished my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. "You can give me your number and I'll text you so you have mine."

"Sounds fair." A small smirk played at her lips and it tempted me to just lean in and press my lips to hers, but I stopped myself.

"Please tell me you'll text me if anything happens?"

"I can't promise something like that."

"At least try?" My voice was soft and I hoped that she received the message loud and clear.

"I'll try."