Being Saved

16| The Discussion

Two in the morning and I finally got Chloe to stop crying and fell asleep.

It was not easy for me to leave her in my bedroom alone, I was just hoping that she would not wake up.

I went down the street, and I stood in front of John's house. I took my phone and called him.

"What do you want? You know you left me by myself in that place, it was really humiliating."

"Stop complaining so much. I am down here, don't you want to come down so I can explain everything to you?" And that is how I'm left talking to myself.

I was ready to leave when the door opened.

"You really thought I was going to leave you hanging, didn't you?"

"Nooo, ok, maybe."

"C'mon, let's go for a walk."

We were walking towards the beach in silence when I decided I owed him an explanation.

"Look, I was leaving the house to meet you when Chloe came to my door crying. She really needed to talk, and you know I couldn't leave her alone."

"What happened to her?"

"Caleb happened! Eww, he is so fucking stupid. I never liked him, but he seemed to like her, and now, she is sleeping in my bed after a breakdown."

"You still didn't answer me."

"She went to a city close to Washington with the cheerleading team and decided to make him a surprise. It seems that the one surprised was her, cause when she got to his room he was screwing another girl. But please, don't make more questions, I'm to tired to talk about that stupid boy."

" Alright, how went the auditions?"

" How did you know about that?"

" You still remember that my best friend is your brother, right?"

I was going to answer him when we stopped to sit on the sand and hear the sound of the sea.

" I did it, I went to three auditions, and I just got an answer from one of them." I say lowering my voice.

I looked him in the eye because he would understand with just one glance what I wanted to say but couldn't.

With a quick movement, he put his arms around me. And I couldn't resist, and the tears came to my eyes. I was sobbing in his chest; not cute I must admit.

"Hey Emmy, look at me." He says putting his hands on both sides of my face "It was one out of three, you will get the one that is meant to be for you, believe me."

Our faces were inches away. I'm lost between his eyes and my thoughts.

"You know you dont need to do this, anymore don't you?" I say standing up.

He looks at me with confusing or even scared of what I was about to say.

"You know, saving me, carrying about me. I don't need you to be my guardian angel, not anymore." Now he looks upset, really upset.

"Really Emma? Really? Don't you think I'm tired of worrying so fucking much? You know what I am, I'm tired of your stupid rules. What can I do? Because I cannot say your diseases name out loud, I can't date you, I can't take care of you. What do you want me to do?"

" You don't understand, do you? I just want to leave the past behind my back, forget that those years existed."

" Alright, you want to forget? Ok, let's forget the year that we dated, let's forget all about our childhood, do you also want to forget that I exist?"

This time it's John who takes a step back, he turns his back on me, nice symbolism by the way. The tears are starting to pop up in my eyes, that's not how tonight was supposed to end, I should be here right now lying in a blanket watching the stars and laughing.

"I'm sorry if I made it sound like I wanted to be the hero of your story, you know what, I wouldn't mind being the fucking princess in your story, as long as I could be a part of it." He says as I take my eyes off the sand. "But don't worry, I already understood that I'm not welcome into your life."

I finally take my eyes off the sand to look at him, but hes walking down the beach to get away from me.

"STOP, right where you are!" I scream, and his body freezes. "You don't get to run away, you know I need you in my life, but I also need to learn how to do things on my own, to handle things alone. I broke when they told me that I hadn't got in. It is hard and honestly? I don't know how to move on healthily, my past proves it and you know it. So, yeah I don't like to hear my diseases name, and that is the way that I handle the past, and that is not what matters now, I just need to focus on my future. If you want to support that, ok, we'll figure it out later, if you don't, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do anything for us."

I wait for him to turn around and run to hug me, or maybe even to kiss me, which by the way, I wouldn't mind, I would love to feel his lips again.

Instead, he turns around one last time then continues to walk and I don't stop him, he made his choice.

In the walk to my house, I feel something inside of me breaking and I don't like this feeling, because as my heart breaks my hunger increases and I'm afraid I can't stop this feeling.

♡♡♡
Author's Notes:
This chapter was intense! It is honestly one of my favorites!
Looking forward to reading the next one!

Don't forget to vote and comment it is really important for me!

With all of my love,
Rita ♡