Emison: camping trip

Chapter 10.

The big day.

Today was the day I was going to tell the girls, maybe. This has already happened to me multiple times. We would hang out, I'd build up the courage, I'd get their attention, then nothing.

I couldn't help it that I was nervous, wouldn't you be? I mean how do you up and tell your friends at the mere age of five, your dad traded you for his own pleasure? It's just not something you bring up at a sleepover.

Although, I'm sure Spencer knows. All week she's been looking at me like if I was some scared broken little girl, that's exactly what I wanted to avoid. Being looked at as weak. Because Alison Lauren DiLaurentis is not weak.

"I'm going to Spencer's, bye mom!!" I called out before closing the door behind myself and walking to the Hastings household that was less than one hundred feet away.

I texted the group chat about an hour ago asking the girls to meet me here, I'd figured if it all went wrong I could just run to my house and hide under my covers for the rest of my life.

"Hello Alison" Mrs.Hastings said greeted me once she had opened the door. "How are you?" She looked at me softly.

"I'm fine, and you?" I decided keeping it simple would be best.

"I'm well, Spencer's upstairs with the other girls, I'll be in my office working on a few cases if you need me" she moved to the side allowing me to walk in before closing the door behind me and walking to her at home office.

I let out a shaky breath as I looked up at the stairs that seemed never ending. With my right foot I took a step up, here goes nothing.

After what seemed like hours, but was only really seconds, I stood outside Spencer's room where I could hear the girls chatting.

Slowly, I pushed it open.

"Hi" it came out softly yet croaky at the same time. My my nerves were getting the better of me, I have to focus.

They all said they're greeting with small smiles that made me feel a little better.

I walked to Spencer's bed and sat down, Hanna was seated in a small one person couch just a few feet away, Aria was seated in front of the desk, and of course Spencer was laying on her bed.

"So what's up?" Hanna broke the silence, classic Hanna.

I took a few deep breaths, here goes nothing.

"I have some things I need to tell you" Spencer grabbed my hand comfortingly.

Hanna gasped, "You and S-Spence?! I mean I always thought Aria and Spencer were like secret lady lovers- BUT YOU AND SPENCER?? I mean I'm happy for you, really it's just I- wow"

what the fuck.

Spencer retracted her hand slowly, "Han were not together"

"It's okay to be in love, I mean I really wasn't expecting it but go girl!" She whooped making me giggle.

"No Han, Spencer and I aren't 'lady lovers' she's just being a good friend" I looked over at Spencer and smiled, I was grateful I had someone who knew what happened and wasn't judging.

"Your not? What a relief, I was afraid it would affect my perfect ship,  Spence and Ar" I looked over at both Spencer and Aria to see them both completely flushed. "So what is it you had to tell us?" Hanna asked nonchalantly, she was always so blunt.

"Well, in a few weeks I'll be going to court. There's a few things of my past that need to be taken care of. There will be lots of rumors and people staring, and I-I just wanted you at hear it from me first" I took a deep breath, "I was raped" A look of horror and shock flashed dawned upon the two girls.

I looked back at Spencer who nodded as if saying she was proud of me.

"Y-you were raped?" Aria gasped. I nodded. "A-are you okay?" She asked softly, the initial shock wearing off.

"I- ..I'm not sure. It was a long time ago, and I thought I was over it but seeing him, my attacker, it just I don't know, reminded me of everything" I looked down.

I felt a soft hand grab mine causing me to look up. I was met with Hanna's soft blue eyes as she looked at me.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you" her arms wrapped around my neck as she drew me in for a much needed hug. "I love you Ali, and that's not going to change" she whispered softly.

I nodded and repeated her words, "I love you too Han" after a few minutes we pulled apart and she sat down and held my hand.

"The man, the one from the camping trip. That's the man that..the man that raped me" it felt relieving to talk about this with someone other than my mom, with people who weren't going to judge me. "I was only five" all three gasped lowly. I'm guessing Mrs.Hastings hadn't explained the full story to Spencer.

"M-my dad be um he wasn't a good man. He was an addict who would do anything to feed his addiction, even if it meant trading his own daughter" by now the tears flowed freely as I recalled the story that would forever haunt me.

Once I had finished, we sat in silence. No one dared to utter a word as they processed everything. That's right, I told them everything, from the night it happened, the nights I'd stay up crying myself to sleep, to now.

"Wow" Hanna breathed out. She looked at me softly before grabbing my hand again. "You're so strong, I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell us before. We're always going to be here for you Ali." She smiled. Hanna was the classic jokester of our group but she was always someone I could go to for advice or comfort, she just knew the right thing to say.

"It wasn't that. Believe me, it wasn't. I just I.." I stopped momentarily trying to figure out the right thing to say "..I wasn't ready. It's just..I didn't know how to say it. I-I didn't want you to look at me differently" my eyes fell to my lap where I played with my fingers, what was I supposed to say?

"Ali, we wouldn't have..we won't. You're still the same Ali who has always been there for us." Aria finally spoke, I was worried since she had yet to say anything before.

"Arias right, you're our best friend and nothing could ever change that" they brought me in for a group hug, and for the first time in a while I felt safe.

**

Ahhh so Ali told the girls!

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Will be updating as soon as I can!

-Paola <3